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Sunday 27 February 2011

Sad news - monther and daughter perishes in fire

I read with great sadness that a mother and her daughter perished in a fire in Melaka. According to The Star, the fire started in the kitchen. There was a huge explosion, and lots of smoke. The poor neighbour could not help, despite trying hard to. I do feel sorry for the neighbour too - imagine that helplessness feeling.

Again, I wish to recommend to fellow Malaysians - please install a smoke alarm in your home. The first sign of fire has to be smoke. Yes, it is troublesome - you need to install it, test it and change the batteries yearly. It's a price worth paying for - to protect our loved ones. It is not a 100% sure way, but just like seat belts, it has been proven to be very effective.

Make sure rooms are equipped with emergency escape openings on the grills. Most modern window grills will have it. Unfortunately, older grills won't have it.

If you must break a window grill, use a car jack - the tool to lift up your car to change the tires. Typically, car jacks can lift up to 600kg of force. Use it to break the window grills. I believe most grills will break, or at least bend sufficiently, for escape.

Lastly - please don't be a hero or an asshole by illegally setting up barriers. This is the last paragraph of The Star's report:

A Federal Territory Fire and Rescue Department spokesman said they received a distress call at around 6.11am.

“However, we could not pass the barrier at the unmanned security checkpoint of the residential area.

“Precious minutes were lost as we had to cut off the chains to proceed to the burning house,” he said, adding that by the time the firemen reached the place, about 80% of the house was burnt and the roof had collapsed.

The bodies of the victims have been sent to the Kuala Lumpur Hospital for a post-mortem.

If your housing area has not been designed for gated, please do not gate it. It is of no help. To prevent house break-ins, burglar alarm and guards are the way to go. Again - more troublesome but very effective and safer.

Between safety and security - always remember, safety comes first. Here, the victims were stumped by window grills and an illegal barrier. In the minds of Malaysia, safety is definitely not the first.

Friday 25 February 2011

How to get rich real fast

Back in January, a couple of my friends were very sad, including a FUBU. Some complained, no bonus. Others - one month's bonus. No salary increment. Or increment of RM 50 only. Haiz. The list goes on and on.

To me, it is dead simple. If you wanna get rich - you must know what to do. And you can do it real fast. Working for someone (employment) is great for:
  1. Experience
  2. Low risk - sure salary
  3. Someone who is working to past time, no stress, no worries about money.
No where in the list, employment will make one rich. Get real.

Now, here are some really quick get rich stories:
  1. Start a business - many have made it.
  2. Start your own business. But first, identify your strengths and weaknesses. Capitalize on it.
  3. One chap does pasar malam work after full time employment. He gets RM 3500 nett nett. He didn't get any bonus - because he is always half asleep at work. But that's OK to him - after all, the best employee only got a month's bonus. From his pasar malam, it's about RM42 000 per annum. No one will pay that kind of bonus.
  4. Invest smartly. Australian interest rates are sky high; plus forex gains. No doubt - forex investments are risky.
But, if you think pasar malam is too tiring for you, or no time to do online business, or forex is too risky - please just stick to your regular employment. For guys - please don't complain when you don't get your bonus and increment. For pretty gals, if you feel sad - give me a call. I will give you a good time and make you forget your troubles. Hahaha.

Naughty Accounts Girl

I am doing some consultancy work for an engineering company. Hmmm. The accounts girl there has been nothing but naughty. Every time I see her, she gives me this Come Fuck Me (CFM) look. Looks wise, she is OK. Nice assets too. But again - I cannot help but to wonder, what would her looks be like.

Would I pork her? Hmmm. The mind boggles. Who knows.... but at the moment, I am planning for something with M or perhaps a visit to My Village in Solaris to enjoy the service by Susan.

Saturday 19 February 2011

Kidnapped your Wife

I cannot remember if I have blogged this or not. One day, my uncle got a phone call. He is a lawyer and to say the least - rich.

The caller immediately said they got his wife. In the background, there was a lady screaming and crying for help. They knew my uncle's surname - calling him by his surname.

So, what did my uncle do? The caller made a ransom demand - of a large amount of money. My uncle's response " You mean, I have to pay you RM 1 million to release my wife? OK la.... I double it to RM 2 million... but don't release her. Ok?"

That was the end of the conversation. And no, my aunt was actually doing something else safely. No one kidnapped her.

Simple Rules Against Scams

Many scams are going on. All with different flavours. I cannot possible blog about every known scam - but let's face it. It is easy to prevent scams. Just a few simple rules.

  1. If it is too good to be true, it is.
  2. Never ever disclose your user name and password to any third party. No one credible will ask you for it. Banks must know you. Google must know you. If they do not know you, they are not from the bank or credit card centre, or whatever.
  3. Unless you call your bank based on the phone number behind your credit card, do NOT give out your credit card number.
  4. If someone asks you to do stupid stuff - like turn of your phone, install a software - do not do it. It's probably a scam.
  5. Speak to them in Bahasa Malaysia. Scams are often carried out by foreigners. They cannot speak our national language.
If you are unsure that to do - it's easy. Just delay it. Tell them, please call me back in two hours. That's all. You then have two hours to think about it, talk to your friends or family, and relax. That way, you will make a better decision.

It's the same even when someone calls you to say they have kidnapped your loved one. Tell them you will be ready to negotiate in two hours. If it is for a ransom of a million dollars, they will wait for days if they have to. Who the heck gets paid say a million dollars or 3 days' work? And real kidnappers will keep the hostages a life and unhurt. Hostages are only valuable to kidnappers when they are alive.

So, remember - if you get an unsolicited call asking for something weird, just ask them to call back in 2 hours or 24 hours.

Saiful

I read the case about Saiful with great fascination. First, the found his semen on his underwear. So, you mean, he enjoyed it too? Remember, as far as guys is concerned, you cannot get your penis hard if it doesn't want to - let alone ejaculate. Most of the time, our didi goes soft at the sign of something ugly, ugly thoughts or something we really dislike. By ugly, I do not just mean visually. It could be an ugly idea.

Next, there was another two male semen on his underwear. Since all along he only mentioned Anwar sodomized him, it sure looks like a gang bang than just plain rape. Hmmm. If it was introduced into his anus by Anwar's penis, it would be a fair bit of the 'other' male semen for it to ooze out to the underwear.

Previously, he said he didn't shit for two days. Also didn't shower for two days.

At this juncture, we really have to wonder what the fuck is going on. On top of that, why not go after the easier cases.... like Chua Soi Lek having his dick sucked - that's on video man. And Chua never said it looked like him, sounded like him but it's not him.

Sri Hartamas B2B Naughty Massage

Last Tuesday, I went to Sri Hartamas after my meeting. Needed to relax after a long drive back from Hatyai, Thailand. I was wondering should I go to Hardwood or My Spa. My Spa has cute little nasi lemak girls, but the service and skills is lacking. Not cheap too. At last, I decided to go to look for Susan in Hardwood.

Despite not 'trying' Susan lately, her service is really outstanding - something that makes me remember it. What more can I say...

When I got there, wow - OKT has been changed. That's a bit of a shocker, considering my usual friendly OKT did not tell me about it. Apparently the old OKT was on the take, and the bosses decide to get rid of him...whatever that means.

The new OKT just started work. Haiz. Susan - got transferred to another branch in Solaris. Celaka. Since is was bloody jammed outside, I didn't want to drive. What to do? Select another one lor. The OKT recommended San San.

San San has big and fairly firm boobs. A few kilos too heavy. Over all, not bad at all la. She's younger than Susan. Her service was OK, I would say about 9 out of 10. It was fun, sensational and satisfying. She has really smooth skin too. Friendly attitude. Not bad at all, I would say.

On the way out, I saw a really pretty and sexy thing. She was fair, tall and slender, but not much boobs. Maybe I would try her the next time. San San? Well, I would rather try this slender and fair gal, and Susan. San San's good too, but there are other fishes to try.

Friday 18 February 2011

But yet...

After my last post, here's a list of fantastic stuff they blame for their own fucking business:

  1. Foreign artist - bad influence, ban concerts.
  2. Artists cannot have long hair.
  3. Cannot show cleavage
  4. Want to ban sanitary pads too.
  5. Condoms should not be sold openly.
  6. Beer / alcoholic drinks also cannot be sold.
  7. Western culture
  8. Christianity
  9. Other religions and culture
  10. Internet
And here are a suggestion of things they should ban / do:
  1. Phones cannot have camera.
  2. Web-cams shall be banned too.
  3. Phones cannot SMS new numbers for at least 14 days. This is to prevent one-night-stands or boy-meets-girls and fucks each other within 24 hours.
  4. All smartphone will be taxed 300%.
  5. Internet speed shall be limited to 36.6kbps to prevent porn from being downloaded. Hang on - TM / Streamyx is already doing this.
  6. Solvent based glue will be banned.
  7. One in five condoms will be randomly poked with holes. This means unmarried couples cannot use condoms to fuck safely.
  8. Contraceptive pills will only be sold to married couples.
  9. Oh yeah - girls must wear chastity belt with two keys. One held by mother, one held by father. Else, father might rape daughter, or mother might pimp daughter.
  10. All motorbikes will have only up to two gears. This is to prevent rempits.
  11. Cars will be limited to three gears only - reverse gear included. This is to prevent speeding.
  12. All handbags will be banned. To is to prevent snatch thieves.
  13. Cars will be compartmentalized into four (driver, front passenger, back left passenger and back right passenger). This is to prevent teens from kongkek in cars.
  14. The phrase Barang Naik is banned.
  15. Any sentences with C4, Rosmah and/or Najib is banned.
  16. Cinemas must be open air.
  17. All alcoholic beverages will be banned...plus yeast, used to make alcoholic drinks must also be banned.
  18. All imported films, books, songs will be banned.
  19. All women, including non-Muslim must tutup aurat. Else, men see sexy Chinese / Indian women, go rape their own daughters.
  20. Cosmetics, skin whitening products, slimming products - will also be banned. When people are ugly, they won't fuck each others.
  21. Gyms will be banned for ladies. Guys can still work out.
  22. Price of sugar will be increased, and taxed to prevent diabetes.
  23. Santan and nasi lemak will be subsidized... again, if they are fat, they cannot fuck each other. When they are dying, they will even pray more.
  24. All spray paint must be water soluble. This is for easy removal of graffiti.
  25. Ban Astro, unless it is RTM 1 type of programmes.
  26. Frequency jammers will be deployed to prevent reception of foreign satellite programs. This includes those up to Muar with extra high antennae to receive Singaporean TV stations.
  27. All sexy under garments will be banned.
  28. Cosmetic surgery, especially breast enhancement, must be banned.
  29. All summonses will be banned - instead, motorist must settle on the spot. This is to improve efficiency.
  30. All dogs will be shot / killed at sight.
  31. All pig farms will be demolished, unless it is owned by Khir Toyo / BN controlled.
That's all I can think of for now. You have any ideas to make this nation better?

Kongkek Kongkek Kongkek.... Fuck Fuck Fuck

Sorry for the offensive title, but that's exactly what this article is about.
  1. Give them internet, they watch porn.
  2. Give them porn, they go rape daughter, rape granddaughter, rape niece, rape sister...
  3. Give them motorbike, they go rempit (illegal racing).
  4. Give them glue, they sniff it to get high.
  5. Give them cinemas, they grope each other.
  6. Give them cameras, they go skodeng (watch other couples fuck).
  7. Give them phones, they make video panas, video lucah (sex videos).
  8. Give them cough mixture, the fuck themselves by getting high on it.
  9. Give them flu medication, they also fuck themselves.
  10. Give them fireworks, they also fuck themselves with pipe bomb, home-made bombs, etc
  11. Give them spray paint, they fuck the neighborhood with badly drawn graffiti.
  12. Give them uniform, the fuck the law by collecting bribes.
  13. Give them emergency lane by road sides, they park their cars and fuck there.
  14. Give them parks, they fuck there.
  15. Give them beaches, they fuck there.
  16. Give them hotel rooms, they fuck there.
  17. Give them Valentine's Day, they fuck each other.
  18. Give them project, the fuck it up (ceiling collapse, building collapse, roof collapse, bridge collapse until pupils drown).
  19. Give them political power, they fuck other races (temple demolish, kuil demolish, kris-waving, deaths in custody)
  20. Give them forest, they fuck the virgin forest with logging
  21. Give them Opposition, they fuck the Opposition by Ops Lalang, sodomy cases, TBH...
  22. Give them votes, they fuck the rakyat by Barang Naik.
So, isn't this a fucked-up country? All they think of is fuck fuck fuck. But yet... they blame other cultures. How la?

Valentine's Day

Much has been said in Malaysia about Valentine's Day. It is said to be a Christian influence and it corrupts the young.

Well, I have to blog about my experience. In Melbourne, Valentine's Day is about love. Young kids are asked by their teachers to hand-make a card, a Valentine Card for a loved one. This is usually for their mothers, or teachers.

Young adults would take the opportunity to express their love to their partners. In USA, the flower business, gift cards (Memory Lane) and other business have heavy promotions just for this special day. Lovers exchange gifts, go for dates, and yes - even book fancy restaurants to dine in.

And even in the western world, Valentine is also for married couples. Dining out is very common, or even a glass of good wine at home.

My mum just came back from India. She was to visit a temple on Valentine's Day. Guess what? The temple was full. The guide said that it is common for couples and singles alike to visit the temples for blessing or to say thanks for wishes that have been granted.

Yesterday, was Cap Goh Meh. Chinese Valentine's Day. The highlight - throwing mandarin oranges into lakes or rivers, in hope that the oranges will be picked up by others and it is a chance for singles to get partners.

So, from India to Malaysian Chinese, to the western world, no where has Valentine been associated to the Church. Neither is it associated to fucking. But guess what? For some in Malaysia, it means fuck fuck fuck. But yet, they prefer to blame the Church, and bad western influences.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

CNY Over

Well, CNY is almost over, with Chap Goh Meh tomorrow. Went to Hard Wood today - and there were some changes. Just came back from Hatyai yesterday, and I am still tired and lazy.

More on these in another post.

Looks like it will be a super busy year for me. I would be taking up some new contracts, and yeah - hope to get paid well for those. And perhaps the opportunity to visit one country in the former USSR. Wonder what the gals and the 'massage' scene is like there...

Sunday 6 February 2011

My Spa

What can I say...I started the new lunar year with a naughty thought. Off I went to look for Essential Spa, which is also near Souled Out and Hard Wood. Went there - bugger. The place has closed down for good. Or at least that's how it looks. I was there ages ago - and I got a darn good hand job.

With no choice, I walked to Hard Wood - KNS - the place was still closed for the CNY break. Called the OKT, no answer. Aiyoo. How? Walk around the place lor. Found a My Spa not too far away - or to be precise, just a few shops away.

Proceeded to try out My Spa. It was manned by a sweet young Malay gal. She told me, "We only have one package here, and it's RM 120 per hour. Wanna try?". OK lor. I try la. No idea what the package is. Waited for a while, and a sweet, young (I think barely 18) sexy NL ML came in...

OK lor. Massage lor. Her massage was very week. Like sapu oil. But her skin was super smooth. Very petite in size, but nice boobs and she was showing off her 'longkang'. Turned over, started to play with my little bro. Then, she asked me, want service or not. Hmmm. Again, no shit clue what service meant in this place, but try la. Later I found out the hard way (no pun intended), service meant a handjob and she took off her top. She massage me, I massage her. Her service also included me getting screwed - that is, RM 100 for the hand job.

Later found out her name is Anne from Kajang. And just before I left, I noted - she neatly folded back the towels I was lying on. Hmmm. Very suspicious. Sure as hell looks like they are re-using towels. Ewww. Nasty.

Total damage is RM 220. Very expensive, but that's the place for mat sallehs in Sri Hartamas. On another note, it is hard to find nasi lemaks providing such services. Will I return? Nope. I prefer Hard Wood - at least I know the OKT there and he won't bullshit me. And for a good massage, I still prefer Number 6 in USJ 9.