Next to a place of worship

It was during CNY, and someone commented "You are not a Muslim, of course you won't want to stay next to a mosque". 

What the eff? Firstly, how many of us has done a survey to ask if a Muslim wants to stay next to a mosque. 

Anyway, back to something close to home, I asked him "What makes you think I want to stay next to a temple?". I asked him to drive by a temple during CNY. It's very busy. Crowded. Cars parked everywhere. Full of smoke. More dust. Even more sooth and amber flying around. And I don't mean Amber Chia. 

I know of a few pretty young gals in Jenjarom. Yup - that's where the Fu Guang Shan temple is. (More like a park for money-making then a temple). For 15 days during CNY, the place would be badly jammed, every evening right till 12am or so. It would be a long queue just to turn into Jenjarom. You think those lengluis want to stay near the temple? I don't think so. They complain, openly, till no end. (That's when I offer them to stay in my spare room) We all wonder how on earth was the permit approved to bill such a huge temple sans proper roads or parking. At night, cars would park in front of their gates. The solution? They block their gates with their cars first before others do it to them. 

The only part that makes them less frustrated is, their brothers (and some of the girls too) would be smart enough and hardworking enough to open a small stall near the temple. Drinks, torch lights, handheld lamps - they all make a killing up to a few hundred ringgit per night. 

And schools. Who wants to stay right next to a school. I don't care if it is a Chinese, Malay, Kebangsaan, Tamil, Convent or co-ed school. It's all the same bunch of monkeys, as far as I can remember. I have had people ask me, "But what is wrong staying next to a school". Here's what's wrong - without prejudice to myself and no implication on my school days:

• In the days without autogates, padlocks were common. Students could take a padlock (which is unlocked and left hanging on the gate) and lock it on another house down the street.
• Flat tires, scratched cars, bent windscreen wipers - just to name a few.
• All of a sudden, some bastards would start a rock throwing contest - and someone would end up with broken tiles, windows. The objective can be hit a mango on a tree, but sometimes - students forget there is a house right behind the tree. It's seldom students throw rocks just to damage a window. No fun in that.
• No end to garbage by the road side.
• Stuffed banana in exhaust pipe of cars (especially when we - I mean, students, know that the driver is a cute lady).
• Stolen shoes, sandals, newspapers, mail (the era before email). Usually, it is 'stolen' by transferring them from one house to another house. I mean, how many pair of shoes would we want?
• Fireworks (This was an all-year affair. Students would purchase and keep fireworks - only to use it when no one expects it. The fun is in the element of surprise).
• Make a guess what these are for: Fireworks and mosquito coil. 
• Put a full can of soda under the tyre of a car. Sit and wait.
• Mud slinging contest. Sometimes, it is a pissing contest. You get the idea.
• Endless graffiti - and not the very artistic ones. It usually starts with the alphabet 'F'.
• Very loud and colourful swearing and cursing
• Randomly turning off the main water valve into the houses.
• Disturbing dogs; lastik at cats (we - I mean the students never seem to be able to hit those buggers). Don't worry - no pussies were hurt.
• Hurling textbooks, shoes, underwear, or perhaps the whole school bag into the garden of the bungalow with the meanest looking dog. Usually, that's how we dispose of lost and found items. Actually, just lost - never the found part.

Those were the days without a digital camera. Imagine what would be on our facebook pages. Then again, I never see such posting on facebook. At most, it is just plain bullying. Maybe technology has killed all the fun in growing up.

Gold fish massage, Sunway Mentari

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A good massage in PJ

To be honest, I cannot even remember when I first started to see Siow Hong. That was when her workplace was in USJ 9. To side track: That place in USJ 9 is open again, but the massage is terrible. Unsure if there are extras, but I am not interested. Could be my luck I ended up with a lousy ML.

Then, her workplace (and her) moved to SS2. Now, they have just relocated to SS1. (I think. I only know how to get there).

I liked her massage. No hanky-panky. And she knows exactly where to press harder, where it tickles me and what I enjoy. The end result, I usually end up asleep and I suspect - snoring. When I first went to her, I use to strip naked, which is SOP for most MP. Then, I found out - not this one. She never said anything. 

Somehow, we get 'close' to each other. Sometimes, I would hug her around the waist as we walked upstairs. No, she doesn't make those tantalizing feather touch, or fingernail touches on my body. It's all strictly massage. She does talk to me, but more often that not, my answer is "Cannot understand". Banana. What else can I say?

The other real plus point about her is, she never asks for tips I do tip her RM 20. She is happy. Sometimes, when I do not have change, she tells me it's OK. Don't worry about it. Sometimes, I tease her about introducing her sexy colleagues to me (one of them has a good pair of assets). She would say no. I could go to other massage centres, but at this one - she wants me exclusively. To be honest, I really don't think I want to try other ML. Some of them - would be utter torture. ("Why you never ask for me earlier? Now, let me torture you....poke harder"). I rather the one I know, and I can relax till I snore.

Being CNY, I went out with her for lunch. Just nearby hawker centre - as she was short of time. Mind you, they work every day except CNY and Hari Raya. You got to feel sorry for them. I won't fault the boss, as the ML would also want to earn as much as possible. 

So, for the first time, I saw her out of her 'uniform'. Never knew she had such long and sexy legs. I knew she was slim. And no, let's not complicate things. Keep it as it is. 

What H Does

Do I cheat? Well, I hereby present some facts to you about H.

- She went for a holiday with some friends, male and female.
- It was Thailand.
- After the trip, she came back sore. Sore at the back, sore in front. She had to sleep sideways.
- But she still had that wicked smile when I help her get out of bed in the morning.

So, what do you think?

Hamsap BBBJ at Sunway

It was just after CNY, and a friend of mine wanted a tour of Sunway Mentari. Let's just say it was only for one purpose - a hamsap tour. So, off we went to Sunway Mentari. 

The name of the place is Forbidden City, Sunway Mentari. Don't ask me how to get there - it's bloody complicated and secretive. Mind you - it was still raided a couple of times. I am unsure if it is a "payday" raid or 'wayang' raid. Payday raids - raids organized by the owners to get rid of the girls, when its close to payday for the girls.

Plenty of girls there, it could have been an ASEAN meeting. My friend took a tall Viet gal with big boobs - but I suspect (later he confirmed it), it was enhanced. Some gals were using the double-bra trick. Wear two bras to make it look bigger. I didn't go for a massage - I just sat there. OK, that's a lie. I didn't just sit there. My hands were all over the girls. They were trying hard to seduce me. Or rather get into my wallet. It wasn't expensive - RM 90 (normal rate of RM 80) for an hour of 'massage'. 

His report: First words, not real. I mean, of course la. It's very very seldom you see a slim, tall gal with such big boobs. And, they look too firm. She offered him a FJ - RM 100. Apparently, it was fake moan, and she wasn't really wet. BBBJ was good, but for a short while. I mean, what can we expect? Your gf meh? There was no massage ("oh bugger"). 

Another down side to this place: There is only one or two toilets but tonnes of customers. There would be a queue outside just to wash up before and after the happy-ending. Again, not something I like. Feels like a cow herd and we are being 'milked'. 

One very worrying observation. I saw a few very young guys - could have been students at a nearby college. This is where I did some serious thinking. Why would young guys come to such places? Hey - go learn how to have a relationship. A real and meaningful one. Don't get addicted to plain sex. It's easy and can be nice, but you don't learn too much. Worse still, they might treat their future / current girlfriends like a MP gal. That's terrible. So, for those young guys out there - please go after some pretty, young, sexy chicks in your college. I can understand when some old ah-peks is already with a wife with 5 kids, but again- please don't cheat la. 

I don't like the SOP strip-and-fuck type of action. I prefer mine with lots of passion, foreplay and warm. That's why I didn't go for a 'massage'

The part I enjoyed most: Driving around with no traffic and plenty of parking. Sometimes, it's the simple things in life that we miss. No need some hamsap wife-swapping or sexy fuckbuddies in bed.

Good boss

What exactly is a good boss? Simple. A good boss is one who helps you develop your career and to help all earn a healthy salary.

Does your boss do the following:

1. Priority is for you to learn, via training, books, hands-on
2. Find ways to help you work faster, more efficiently. (Asks you, what can he do to make you work more efficiently?)
3. Place is in order, SOPs and WIs are in place. Everyone knows what to do instead of running around like headless chickens.
4. Wants place to be excellent, and uses best practices from industry. (Open tender, doesn't sleep with vendors, follows 
5. Resolves conflicts
6. Provides clear direction, as oppose to "I think that is what we should do...". And comes tomorrow "But that is not what I meant...." Celaka. 
7. Asks for input, but he decides.
8. Makes decision  Some bloody bosses sit on it forever. I hate those.The worst decision is no decision  for a wrong decision can be corrected.
9. Have a disaster recovery plan. How often do we hear - oh shit, the internet is down. Why not just put a back-up internet line? Especially when we depend on it to make money.
10. Have a succession plan.
11. Internally promote staff. Prepare staff (the willing and able ones) for promotion
12. Able to deal with shit face-to-face. Identify dead-wood, trouble makers and fire them. Yes, why keep bad apples and make the whole place stink?
13. Have balls. (I don't mean physically. Must be brave enough to act without fear nor favour).
14. Honest and with integrity.
15. Yells occasionally but with reason.

I do #1 and #2 very often. Whenever I am free, I would sit (or lie down....now, let's not go what else I was doing while lying down) and think. How can I make it easier for people to work? Do they need a new laptop? Hire a office boy or some clerk? Give them a better phone? Revise procedures and make it less tedious? Get new software to automate process?

Yes, I am guilty of #15 too. I should yell a lot less, but for some fucked up reason, engineers think their reports can be a work of fiction. I yell alot less nowadays - as I use #12. The yelling was when I had zero authority to choose who is in my team, and invariable I get some assholes added to my team.

Am I a good boss? I don't think so. Too much #15 still, and I don't make enough to pay everyone very well.

Bad Boss

Like it or not, there is such a thing as a terrible or horrible boss. Well, this post shall not talk about the obviously bad bosses. The obvious ones are:

• Sex maniacs, harass staff in the office
• Provides unsafe workplaces
• The list goes on, but I am here to talk about the not-obvious ones.

Firstly, what is a bad boss? Here's my take on a bad boss:

• Doesn't care about improvement of staff. The boss can be the friendliest, most 'caring', nice, gentlemen - but you learn absolutely nothing, do nothing that can be construed as an achievement for your next job interview, no training. On the contrary, some bosses yell at their workers all day long, but at the end of the day, the workers can move on and get a better job. No doubt they yell, but the workers actually learn something. Mind you - if you want a 'nice' boss, someone to talk to - please get a lover or a fuckbuddy. We are talking about your career here.
• Doesn't pay attention to staff. By this, I mean - the boss will promise a lot, say yes - but alas, doesn't do anything but gently brushes it aside (called "Tai Chi") to 'problems from higher authority", "disasters to handle", "Overlooked", "Overworked". If you cannot handle all "those", please stop being a boss.
• Very happy and cheerful environment, but the place is a time-bomb. A quick check: Does the place have an updated set of SOP? If someone leaves, what happens? SOPs are for a place to function well, so everyone knows what to do. What if he leaves? Oh please, don't think your 'best boss' will be there forever.
• Influenced by rumors.
• Taking sides during fights. For me, I would ask the two idiots to resolve it on their own, failing which, I would expect two resignation letters. Never create a winner. If there is a winner from each fight, there will be more fights. Hey - after all, we are adults. So, please stop the "Mummy, he hit me first" shit in the office. If you are above 18 years old, want to play mummy, I suggest you hire a dominatrix at your own free time for her to spank you. 
• Does what is popular rather than what is good for the business.
• Focus on department instead of business or profit for the company.
• Zero strategy. Keep in mind, a strategy is not the same as planning. The worst are without a plan. Some have a plan, but still no strategy. Example of a strategy: How to finish off the competition in business.

But, why are bad bosses so damaging. I think, they are worse than the obvious-bad-bosses. Why? When they are obviously bad, we will happily move on, get another job. The bad bosses make it fun, enough to keep everyone comfortable. It's like putting a frog in cold water, then light a flame under the pot. (note - no frogs were hurt in this blog). Chances are, it's so comfortable you won't even know you are cooked.

Then comes one fine day - you get fired or decide to leave when you realized your salary isn't going anywhere fast. You are past 35 years old. A cute 22-year-old chick is sexier and is asking for RM 2500 only. You wish to have RM 8000, but you lack the skills. Or with outdated skills. Heck, the 22-year-old might even type faster. This is when real trouble starts. 

Q: "What did you achieve in your previous job?". 

Answer " Ummm....ahhhh..... ummmm, I maintained the UNIX Server". 

Interviewer: " But we are using Windows since 1997. Thank you for your time, we will contact you shortly"

An example of a terrible boss is the character Gil Grissom of CSI Las Vegas. Here's why:

• Never trained a successor, no succession planning. One fine day, he happily left the entire team in limbo. 
• Heck, he even left his wife, Sara Sidle. 
• Having a secret relationship with Sara when he was an immediate superior. He did not disclose this to department either. Sounds familiar? If you must eat and shit, don't do it in the same place.
• Fails to complete paperwork on time.
• Friendly and nice to everyone. 
• Doesn't spend too much time on training for staff. Instead, he usually gives that "How come you don't-know" look.
• Thinks he is the smartest.
• Doesn't pay attention when others talk. 
• No planning, no strategy (caused an intern to be killed). 
• He was a tai-chi master too, always assigning the shit jobs to his subordinates.
• But everyone misses him!

Bonus time - or the lack of it...

Well, it's the open season again - as far as jobs are concerned. Hunting for new employees, hunting for new jobs. 

Alas, I get the usual complains - bad bonus. Only one month bonus when I did 30% of the sales. Frankly, what do you expect? 6 months? If you were the boss - how much would you give. Not to side bosses, some bosses are just assholes. Employees too. It takes two to tango,.

On one hand, business is bad. Overheads are ever increasing. I know of many businesses suffering. Some cook the books to look good. Others go bust. 

But, please be smart. Here are some tips:

1. Get rid of your coffee mug / tea cup. Never be seen in the office with it.
2. Always carry files and folders or a logbook.
3. Put some thick files on table to give the "very busy" illusion.
4. Take leave (half days) in the  middle of the week. This gives the illusion you are going for interviews. Hope your boss won't take you for granted.
5. Create resume for your co-workers, print them - and leave it at the printer. Make sure they do not log who printed it.
6. Print your own resume, and leave it at the printer, then partially visible on your desk. 
7. Inject rumours (so-and-so resigning), etc - to the known kepo person of the office. Rumours of so-and-so is dying, having an affair, will be fired by boss, etc. How does his help you? It takes the spot-light away from you - hence no one will notice your mistakes / or too busy to give you more work. The so-and-so is dying isn't a lie. Everyone is dying... it's just that some might take 50 years from today.
8. At all cost, avoid visiting your boss's office / room. Nothing good can come out of that. 
9. Stay late - and enjoy the free internet. That's if you think you can get a better bonus. If not, run off at 5.30pm sharp. 
10. Get a new phone - one with the dumbest features - calls and SMS only. Generally, only very bad news come via the phone - so, why would you torture yourself with the most expensive and efficient torture device? Why check email when you are enjoying a hamsap massage? Doesn't make any sense. Better still, install a ringtone is real soft. 
11. Get a private phone number. Only for your own use (including or excluding hamsap activities, that would be your call).
12. Post some Craiglist or Adult Friend Finder entries for the office bitch / bastard. But ensure you cannot be traced. This is to ensure the bitch / bastard is busy answering hamsap calls instead of harassing you.
13. If you complete work early, write the email early BUT do NOT send it out. Leave it in your laptop. Then, send it out at 10.30pm. Geeks will be able to write a software to send it out at a designated time. If you send it out at 4.30pm, your boss will read it. Reject it. And you end up working till 10pm fixing the 'errors'.
14. Start your own business. That's a better way to ensure more income.

Hamsap Massage in Ipoh / Ipoh Garden

So, there I was - I observed a couple of shops in Ipoh Garden - all with the same kind of sign boards. A LED "Welcome" sign display, with the word "SEWA" (rent). And the word "PUSH" on the door. No signboards. Nothing. I have seen some guys entering. 

But that was it. No more, no less. Google didn't provide any clues. What were in these places? Hamsap massages? B2B? Or was it something fun. 

Alas - curiousity got the better of me. I did enter one of these shop. I was sure hoping for something fun and sexy. But my imaginative mind has failed me. It's a bunch of PCs. And a very smokey environment. What was it? I am not entirely sure, but I am sure it is not what I want. I made a hasty exit - and that was the end of my curiosity for these "SEWA" locations.

And according to the local KPC (busybody), there is a house along Jalan Johor in Ipoh, housing as many as 12 China dolls. Based on two of the dolls I happen to chance upon, the KPC's description is dead accurate. Very young. Very good looking. Tall, slim, slender. Nice assets. Very fair. I am unsure if they accept walk in business. According to the local gossip, the gals are the mistress type. In the evening, many guys in very expensive cars would come pick them up. One per car - so, it does not appear to be pimps.

For whatever reasons, their neighbour is not happy with such tenants. (I could understand why - some might be drunk late at nite, jealous wife might show up and start fighting, etc) The police could do nothing - they have student's visa. I offered my solution. Easy - just photograph the cars. Collect lots of it. Then, publish it la. When the clients do not show up, the supply will disappear. 

And lastly: Robin Spa is a popular place for girls. It's a fuck-shop. Unsure what selection they have now. But opposite Robin Spa, there are some massage parlours - including a Gold Finger. Quite a selection there, although not the best of the best. Some are young. Some are tall. Pretty too. 

But the place is a bit dated. It seems that in Ipoh, these fuck-shops operate at the same location for ages. It must have been since 1960 or 1970s. Good thing the girls are new. And that's about the only thing new in these shops. Not bad if you are curious or want a quickie. Nothing more.

Sex and dating sites

Time and again, I hear it from girls (usually): Oh - these dating sites - are a waste of time. I just get tonnes of guys who asks for sex.

Let it be clear. I do not condone such bad behaviour. Neither do I blame it on how one presents herself (I do not believe it...she got rape because she dressed like a slut. I am 100% against these type of argument).

And guys - what on earth makes you think sending an email "Hey - wanna have sex tonight" to a stranger, online will work? If it was that easy....

I know, some guys would say - maybe she is shy and horny. To these guys, here's a quick update on the real world:

1. Vibrators are available in all shapes are sizes.
2. Girls masturbate too. They don't need guys that badly.
3. Gals can learn from porn too.
4. Gals can get easily picked up from clubs / bars / social scene. If they were that horny - they won't be in front of their computer.
5. You have to be nice to a girl first before you get laid good. Even if she was working professionally, if you treat her like dirt, you won't get the best out of her.

Yes, I do have fuckbuddies from online friends. But trust me, it isn't just "Wanna fuck?" kind of email. Talk to her. Chat with her. Flirt with her. She will lay you, once she knows you are more than just a vibrator on legs. What more - don't ask this stupid question on a dating website. Try adultfriendfinder or something like that.

And now, for the girls. Again, as I have stated, I do not blame the girls on this. But please, try to understand that there are two sides to a coin. Take note of how you present yourself. Oh sure - if you dress sexily, it doesn't mean you want to lay any guy. I understand and agree with that. But... what is your impression given these two situation:

• A guy walks into a room with his pistol fully loaded and cocked? (no pun intended)
• Someone walks in with two huge bazookas aimed at your face, point blank?

So girls, isn't first impression important? 

Freedom of Religion in Malaysia

I will blog about my experience, and yes - I do find a lack of freedom. Firstly, I am not a Muslim. Some would think - that means, I am free. But that's not true. In forms, if I leave my religion blank, some clowns will happily help me mark "Buddhism". They just assume any and every Ah Lian, Ah Kow and Ah Beng would be a Buddhist. 

Here's my complain. Why can't I have the freedom not to have a religion. Or at least, put Taoism there. But no, they happily classify every Ah Beng as a Buddhist.

The thing is, I have respect for all religions. I really don't think I am a Buddhist at all. I sleep around. I drink a little. Buddhist cannot drink (Alcohol laaa) at all. Neither are Buddhist allowed to be attached to this material world. I am addicted to good sex; yells when my bloody laptop fails.  Curse at traffic. Flirt shamelessly. Eat after 12pm (yup - monks do not eat after noon). If internet is down, TM would be at the receiving end. Needs a handphone. Won't travel without a car.

And to be clear, neither would I make a good Taoist. (I cannot remember all the festivals for Goddess of Mercy, when the 1st and 15th day of the lunar calender. Heck, I don't even know which month it is in the lunar calender). I am not a Christian, nor a Hindu either. I am just human - with some sins and of course, I do some good deeds too.

And most Ah Bengs would even gamble, but yet classified as Buddhist. Buddhist cannot cause suffering - hence a vegetarian diet is called for. I love steak - rare, plaese. I have listened to a Buddhist monk's teaching: even for vegetables - please eat in moderation. The reason: It takes resources to plant vege. This means, if we consume a lot, more wild life would be displaced and that would cause suffering. Yup - suffering to animals are frowned upon by a true Buddhist.

So, please - let us have a freedom from religion. For now at least - maybe when I get older I would be a better Buddhist / Taoist. I personally think I give Buddhism a bad name. Then again, that should be between God and me, not for some official documents.

If you think Singapore is better....

Remember Alvin? The one with Vivian, and her blowjob / adult movies? Yup, that's the one.

Before I go further, I must state this. I have nothing against Singapore or NUS. But let facts be facts.

Fact:
NUS has terminated the sex blogger's scholarship.
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/sex-blogger-alvin-tans-scholarship-terminated-20121112

Fact:
There has been public uproar on the sex blogs. Vivian has been at the receiving end of it (no pun intended), and I do feel sorry for her parents. 
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/8/nation/12289711&sec=nation

A little known fact:

This guy, is a Nazi supported. And all the uproar is about sex videos? This is the part I cannot understand. Shouldn't the uni kick him out for being a nazi supporter? This is a war-loving racist group that has killed millions and bombed the heck out of Europe. In Germany, this fellow would be thrown in jail. 

So, here we are. All hoity-toity that with our Asian values - cannot talk about sex as it is taboo. But we forget the more crucial elements - racism and plain murder. Those seem to be well tolerated. 

I cannot believe that NUS has acted on publicity (by the press) pressure - and not truly investigate what was going on. And Malaysians? I don't think have the clowns here even understand "Neo Nazi". They probably think it is related to The Matrix.

PS: Why are Asians so crazy about sex? And keep acting that sex is so taboo and it's such a dirty thing?

Malaysians Top Workaholic

Apparently, Malaysians are one of the top workaholics of the world. (Or "forth most dedicated work force)

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/20/nation/12342446&sec=nation

I didn't know how to react. Shocked. Nearly fell off my chair. Angry. Dedicated my ass. Fact. This blog, has the highest hit on Mondays and Tuesdays. Lowest on Saturday and Sunday. Same with my facebook wall - least activities on weekends. Only a few sorry asses would be online for the weekend, updating Facebook statuses and blogging (yours sincerely included).

Dedicated? Dedicated to using office time, office infrastructure to surf the net for personal pleasures - that I believe. Half of the readers are planning (this is real good planning, by the way) where to get a hamsap massage after work. Oh come on, just admit it.

From my experience, here's what we are really dedicated to (in random order):

1. Nasi lemak breaks (aiyoo...I put on 3kg already, must start dieting - while stuffing themselves with nasi lemak / curry puffs)
2. Coffee breaks
3. Ciggie break (doesn't matter if you smoked or not.) ... "aiyoo - must eat organic food - else can get cancer."*
4. Gossipping
5. Facebook / Tweet
6. Run own online shop
7. Blogging (of course, the majority of these lazy buggers would just be reading a blog, but hey - that's reading too).
8. Surf porn
9. Plan for after work activities / plan for next weekend
10. Plan for next big shopping when pay check is out
11. Online shopping
12. MSN / ICQ / Google Chat / Skype / Whatsapp
13. Read online newspapers / gutteruncensored.com / fmylife.com
14. Show off new handbag / new bf / new hair-do / new car / new app / new phone. 
15. Check clock ("Aiyoo...still another 2 minutes to lunch.")
16. Take long lunches.
17. "Visit clients" (This is another fact - the bloody massage parlours, kosher and non-kosher included, are most busy at 4pm, workdays. Weekends, they are damn free).
18. Falling asleep on desk / toilet / car 
19. Quickie with sexytary / colleague; Playing footsie during meetings
20. Check-out new accounts clerk / gatal factory worker / handsome boss / young engineer
21. Tai chi work to others (usually this is the first item on their to do list)
22. Blame-storming; not to be confused with brainstorming
23. Gossip / Stir up shit
24. Gossip / Stir up shit
25. Gossip / stir up more shit

But not is all lost. This is a FACT: Employees are good actors, pretending to overwork badly. Another FACT: Employers pretend that they know their workers are dedicated, and do nothing about it. 

So, it's the year end now. To the very least, please refrain from asking "Why no bonus". If it was me, I would have fired your sorry ass a long time ago. And what pisses me off is, some young buggers would say "I want work - life balance". Read it again : Work - life balance. Work comes first, ok? Stupid buggers.

* This is a true story. I know of one smoker. Keep telling us to eat healthy, remove chlorine from water.... while happily smoking away.

Overworked, underpaid

OK OK. I hear you. Some of you would complain, but I am really overworked. I believe you. Just a few percentage of this country would fall into this category. Then, the question is, overworked because of yourself, or because of your boss?

My mum is terribly overworked too. Occasionally, she complains that the family does not help her out enough, blah blah blah. But if you look at it, my mum would go this way too:

1. I better buy the fish. If you buy it, you might buy something that is not fresh.
2. I will get the broom, and other utensils. The boss knows me - he will give me a discount.
3. I will cook, if you cook, we might not get dinner / burn dinner / etc.
4. I will hang the clothes out - you won't know how to put it on the hanger properly. 
5. Let me cook the soup - I will know how it should taste like.
6. Don't worry - I will mop the floor. You all will just simply mop and do a bad job.
7. Where did you buy these mangoes from? It's not from my usual shop. These ones are not sweet.

See the problem? She doesn't delegate work, doesn't trust others to do it, and doesn't allow others to mess it up and learn. It's the same problem in the workplace. Do you trust others? Let others mess it up?

But you will say "It is a very important meeting, I will prepare the presentation". Why not let others have a go? If you are that good, you can still fix what others have screwed up. (We could still go for pizza if dinner was really burnt). 

If one keeps saying all these, at the end of the day - no one will do anything.  Or no one will bother to help out. Other will reply "If you are so good, you do it on your own la". Hence, you end up working 28 hours a day, 7 days a week without annual leave or medical leave. 

Let's get real. If dinner was perfect, does this mean we won't have to die? If the presentation was 100% rite, does this mean you get a 100% pay raise? Or if the mangoes were sour, will the world end tomorrow? Oh come one. Life goes on. Get real. And what happens if you are not there one day? No one lives forever. So, isn't it better to train successors / children / staff while you are around to guide them?

Time to work smart. Give others a chance. Spend more time with hubby / wife / gf / bf / mistress / toy boy. If you are a husband / wife - make sure you satisfy each other in bed / bathroom / kitchen / couch. That is one task that should not be delegated to others. Sadly - I have seen too often intimacy being sub-contracted out.

My Ass

In Facebook, as well as in real-life, it goes pretty much like this:

1. My new phone, my new hair cut, my sexy ass, deep cleavage, my boobs, my body, my new car, my new sexy girlfriend, I am rich, my handsome looks, my pretty face, my nails, my Prada, my LV, my Gucci, my big dick, my gym, my shop, my huge flat-screen TV, my cute dog, my cat, .... I want a movie, I went for a party, I club, I am holidaying. 

It's is always "I", "I", "I', (or my my my) right up to the point things f*ck-up. When things go bad, it would be:

•  Lazy husband, slutty girlfriend, old car, iPad crash, Windows' fault, PC hang, road slippery, bf not caring, slave-driving boss, gold-finger colleagues, she-was-sleeping-with-the-boss, mother-in-law from hell, ingredients not fresh, oven not good enough, Celcom slow, UNIFI hopeless, phone no credit, stupid bank for not extending credit, high taxes, Jibby no good, corrupt government, house in bad area...

So, why is it when things go well, we take all the credit. When things go shit,  we blame everyone and everything but ourselves. How often do we get a Tweet or FB status "I screwed up".

But if it is something good, they cannot wait to show the world and take the credit. "See, I got a new sexy gf". Or "see, I got a LV for my birthday". Some jokers even photograph food before they eat. Come on - you think I have not seen it? Please la. Everyone wants to show off, stand out of the crowd. That's OK - but please show off with your ability (not show off someone else's cooking or Prada's design).

I really think it would be a better place if we start giving credit to others when things go well, and look at ourselves first when things go bad. For instant, we don't want a corrupt government. But honestly, how many would have NOT bribed a cop? (I have not, but I use some other tricks - showing them an empty wallet. I know H flirts and get away with it. Either way, that's wrong too - we should just shut-up and accept the summons.)

How many times have we come up with the excuse, "I need that new iPad. I can work faster". I know of some idiots with iPad, Samsung phone, and whatever else - but, never reply to his email. Nor does he read them. Most of the time, this bugger is clueless about his work. But yet, he told me "Uncle, you should get a iPad too. Can work faster". Yeah, the operative work is, 'can'. But he does not. I gave him an earful. 

Sadder still - how many would say "Yeah, I took my mother shopping", or "I stopped for pedestrians". I do. Some of my friends do. But the thing is, those who do - never shows off about it. (Those who show have the intention to get more donations). If I write on my FB to say I am collecting funds for a charity, only true friends would reply "How much do they need? RM 100 enough or not?"

Dating Online: Huh?

Here's what I read on one profile, recently:

i only like tall guys. need not to be rich. because i earn enough to feed myself.
but he must be able to put me on priority.

What the? If you do ever wonder why you do not get a date, here's a quick (and unwanted) review:

It's always "I I I". I like tall guys. I earn enough to feed myself. I must be priority. Where is the us? Where is the we? And it's so selfish - you earn enough to feed yourself only. Your parents? And your future husband?

We always have the perception that guys must take care of the family. But in reality, guys have problems too. Sometimes, we get fired. Business goes bad. Shit happens. So, the whole key about relationship is facing the up and downs (both inside and outside a bedroom) together. Problem with parents, kids, bank loan, house flooded, maid ran away...

You name it, it happens. There will be good and bad. But sure, it cannot be just good moments right. Last check, this place is called Earth. Not heaven, for sure. But some say, hell.

And what is with tall guys? Are all tall guys with bigger ****? Surprisingly, I do not read any profiles saying "guys good in bed". Rich guys, well do to guys. Another thing that bugs me "guys with a good future / bright future". According to our courts, we now have two guys "with bright futures" but happens to be rapist of underage girls.

Again, I stress this. It's not just the bf-gf kind of relationship in our life. There is also employer-employee relationship. I hate to have workers who is always thinking of "I.. I... I...". How would that relationship ever work out?

Even for the hamsap massages. Don't treat the masseur like a piece of meat. She's human too. Be genuinely nice to her, thank her. Don't just molest her. Arose her. Flirt with her a bit. Compliment her. Thank her. And that relationship would be a lot better (even thought if it is just a supplier-client relationship).

Dating Websites: How to get a date

Here's something I cannot truly understand. Why put photos of you in close contact with other guys?

On a dating website? At first sight, I doubt any guys would want to know your previous relationship(s). The future relationship matters (for the guy who is looking for a possible gf online).

 Looks intimate, with a hunk wrapping his arms around her.

 And yeah - another guy? This guy looks bald.

 Who's baby is that?

 If these were your best and happiest pictures - why did you leave him? Or was it he left you?

You really could not get another picture? Or at least get a friend to do some photoshop?

I find it really awkward looking at profiles (on match.com) with such pics. I do not even know you, and yet - you are telling so much. Not in a good way. Why not just focus on you and me?

Equally awkward are pictures with mothers. Sure, I can understand, you are a good daughter. But let's talk about the first date first. There is a time and place as far as mother-in-laws are concerned. 

Other bad photos are cropped out group photos. Those cut - and - paste kind of cropping. It doesn't matter if it is a group of girls or guys, but to the very least, put some effort in the photos. Doesn't have to be the studio type with lots of make up.

Of course, do not hide facts or lie. But surely, we all know there is a time and place (might I add, the RIGHT time and place) for everything. So, please get some better pics and put in on your profile. Else, forget the pictures.

Dating Site: What not to write

I have been visiting Match.com, with a profile and all. For fun, as I am not expecting to find a gf. H is good.

But what I read blows my mind. (I prefer the other kind of blow, if you know what I mean).

Take this for example:


Prefer toned skin guy, muscular or not , ... have a chatting great time. Prefer the guy could be gentle at girls but not nice to all girls
This is classical. So, what is she looking for? A bipolar guy? How can I guy be nice to her only and be a monster (ok ok... I am taking to the extreme) to other girls? Of course, there are guys who are nice to one gal only. That is true - so long as he is waiting to bed her. You get the idea. If he is a nice guy, he is a nice guy. Same with girls. If she is sexy, she is sexy to everyone - lesbians included. How can someone appear different to different people? That's a serious disorder.

Another gal, has user name "jojo-armani". Err. What is this suppose to mean? You are a material girl? That's good for some guys. They want to shower you with gifts to get what they want in return. But if you want a long term guy - I seriously doubt such a name will work.

Or was it a corporate sponsorship deal? Perhaps I should change my name to Uncle Milo and see if Nestle actually pays me to advertise. Heck, I should be closer to Uncle Playboy, or Uncle Sri Hartamas B2B.

im looking a man that can share fun,joy,love,life.....experience...

I am not sure what this girl is expecting, but it is going to be a disappointment for her. Yes, you share fun, joy, love, life, experience, toilet. Unfortunately, it comes with sorrow, sadness, anger, difficult times. 

This is life. It cannot be all good. There are ups and downs. If we have unrealistic expectations, of course it is going to be miserable later. So, let's get real. It won't be all a bed of roses.

I hear you - why put the bad stuff in your dating profile? But if you are after someone down to earth, someone sincere - well, you have to be sincere too. Just put everything on it.

Why am I on a dating site? I just need a good laugh sometime. What is on my profile - literally nothing.

The TRUE danger of AES

You get home. Your wife / husband screams at you. A flower pot crashes above your head. The rolling pin finds its mark. Or scarrier still. You can an unexpected cut that night when you are asleep.

And what on earth could have triggered that?

Two weeks ago, you were speeding down a highway, in your trendy BMW. There was an AES. It snapped. 

Fast forward back to a few hours ago before your spouse went berserk. A letter shows up from JPJ. Clearly marked JPJ. Your wife / husband opens it. And there it is, your summon for speeding. 

PLUS... a picture of you. In your BMW. Speeding. It shows you are the driver. And there was a sexy thing sitting next to you. Cleavage and all. Or her head on your lap.... It wasn't your wife. Not your sister either. And your wife saw the picture first.

Far fetched? I don't think so. It has happen in EU. Governments have been sued. It is an invasion of privacy. Sure - sending summons is one thing, but what on earth gives them the right to picture the car, plus the passengers? That's gross invasion of privacy.

Is your car registered in your husband's name? Does your wife get the mail first? Or is it a company car? (and you said you were on MC...when it shows tonnes of shopping bag next to you while you jumpped a red light - but of course, it was only amber).

The mind boggles. This is why AES must be implemented very carefully. Only the car registration and the driver can be photographed. 

You think this worries you... imagine you are a celebrity or some politician. And all these information gets to some private company with heaven-knows-who is handling the photos. It could turn out to be a blackmail case.

To AES or not to AES

One of the most hotly debated topic now, of course, is the AES. Some of my friends are arguing about it. Terrible.

Anyway, I am all for AES, subject to the following conditions:

1.  End of hiding-behind-the-bush operations. If AES works, just use AES. Forget hiding behind the bushes. And most importantly, get rid of the road blocks to issue tickets to speedsters. Road blocks due to robberies, other enforcement is fine. But please, stop duplicating the work. This means the rakyat will have to help AES, and still provide support to the "you help me, I help you" notion. 
2. AES must have smart speed limits. If they say "It's near a school. Must be 30kmph only". Good. Then, enforce the 30kmph only for school days, during school hours. Other than that, please revert speed limit to 90kmph.
3. Pot-holes causes tonnes of accidents too. Please patch up our roads first. The year now is 2012. We don't seem to be able to patch up holes - so, why screw us with AES?
4. The other half the time, traffic lights are faulty. Please fix those first. If the lights work well (proper timing, etc), then there will be less jams. Hence less frustrated drivers thus reducing the urge to beat the lights. Please fix those first.
5. AES should hit serious offenders hardest. But I suspect, it's the light offenders who will be hit badly. Here are some examples:
• I only speed. I get a ticket from AES.
• I have horrible tinted glass. I speed. AES cannot see my face. I pull a "Looks like me, sounds like me" defence. AES is not effective. Basically, I get away if I have more than one offence.
• I reduce the size of my number plates. AES photographs me, but cannot make out the number plate. I get away again with two offences.
• Number plate partially missing (typical of those snatch thieves). Again, AES is useless.
• I put a large sign there to say I am a VVIP. I get away. One is not to put any signs on car to say they are VVIP. Let us take a guess - you think that will happen?
• I have heavy tint, fancy lettering on plates, marked VVIP, false registration details on JPJ database - I think AES will never get me.
  
  So, how can AES work? AES is obviously targetting to the small time offenders. Those that have a string of offences - oh well.
6. If our electrorate roll is in a mess, can you imagine the JPJ database? JPJ must have a very easy way to check and update information.
7. JPJ must verify that information is correct and updated. Nowadays, it takes only a photocopy IC to transfer details of ownership. If I speed daily, I will just transfer my car to someone without his knowledge. Then, good luck. Oh, of course I won't lose my car. I can transfer it back to my name (using more photocopy ICs) when I want to sell it. Smart right? :P
8. AES must not cause accidents. Imagine - putting a bloody pole on the road junction. If the car looses control, it will hit the pole (and possibly traffic lights, etc). So, there must be sufficient crash barriers or very well position as not to cause more damage to accident victims.

Oh well, that's my current take on AES... but my next post will tell you the TRUE danger of AES.