'Girlfriend' training

Mandy is fantastic in bed... after some good training that is. When I first started out as her fuck-buddy, it was terrible. Back then, she hated oral sex - both giving and receiving. She would like to have sex, but kind of passive. Would give a blowjob, but you could tell she disliked it. No way she would let me cum in her mouth.

It has taken many months of training before I can say she's fantastic in bed. For me at least. How to train? When we first started, she didn't even want oral sex - me giving her that is... So, over time and in some sessions, I would sneak in a little oral sex for her. When I had the chance to lick her pussy, I made sure she got an orgasm, or two. Wow! Suddenly, it had change it all. She started to shave - I told her it would be easier for me to eat a clean pussy. Now that she has figured out how good oral sex is, she started sucking my cock. I would have to give her lots of feedback on what feels great and what's painful.

Over time, her blowjobs became fantastic. I hinted at her that my favorite was to cum in her mouth. However, I made it a point to tell her that I would cum. Still leave it to her to decide if she allowed a CIM. Naturally, one day, she liked the idea of CIM and swallowed. Hehehe. This is what I call girlfriend training.

Another thing, when I fucked her, I made sure she has had enough before I stop. Apparently, she disliked her previous partners as they didn't quite care for her. Just fucked her and shot their load. Selfish bastards.

Again, key part of girlfriend training:

1. It must be fair. If I want my dick sucked, I better enjoy licking her pussy.
2. It must be fun for her. Make her cum, again, and again.
3. Never force her to do anything. Respect her. Don't ever CIM without her knowledge.
4. Watch lots of porn together. I'll post in another article on how to train gf to watch porn!

Malaysia, a Liberal Country Indeed.

Now that Isa has won the by-elections, and Najib says that Isa has paid his dues and can be given a second chance, I do wonder how this new situation can benefit me. What if...

I hire a bunch of 16 year old gals, real sweet, sexy and perhaps even slutty. I have sex with them. Or even bugger my sexytary, who is 21. Indeed, sex with minors and anal sex is against the law. So is bribery to buy votes. But, let's us say, my boss catches me and suspends me from work for about say, 2 years. Does that mean I don't have to be charged in court? After all, I have been punished by employers for screwing other employees, kind of like Isa being punished by UMNO. It's all an internal matter, within the same company. Hmmm. Should I start hiring some sexy sluts? Young ones too... This indeed opens up many opportunity / pussy for me to fuck.

If a brother rapes his younger sister, and the father punishes the boy, does that mean there is no police case? Or if mother abuses or murders her daughter, and the husband chains her up and punishes her, then, she doesn't need to be charged in court? Family matter mah. And they have all paid their dues, according to Najib.

I am not sure what the law says about all this. Kind of fuzzy right? Time to give Lingam a call to see if he can help clarify.

Effing Idiots

The Star today bloody reported that BN will reduce funds to Pakatan Rakyat governments. The reason, to quote the Star:

“Little do the people know that what the opposition government is giving comes from the Barisan Nasional Federal government,” he claimed when debating the president’s policy speech at the Umno General Assembly here on Friday.

"He" is actually the Selangor delegate Abdul Shukur Idrus .

Now, that's an asshole. Who the fuck do you think BN Federal gets their money from? The poor rakyat and from our taxes. He fucking talks like it is BN who is paying for everything. Hello asshole... you are on our pay role. Come the next elections, I will bloody tell him they are all fired.

MCA has just been saved.

The outcome of the MCA results would have been the best for MCA. I do not support MCA but when there is a good lesson, I give them credit. Ong Tee Keat lost. Dr. Chua Sok Lek lost. That's the most logical and best to do. Why? It is simple isn't it? Both were elected by the MCA members. Both started fighting. And both are now, more or less, voted out. The results says, look you idiots, if you cannot work together, both of you will now have to go.

Any winner would have been a death sentence to the organization. If there is a winner, people will continue to fight. When both idiots loses, it will suddenly dawn upon them they have erred. More importantly, the other monkeys in the future will remember to work and not fight.

Same goes for the workplace. If the bosses start to take sides, there will be endless fighting. There must never be a winner. There must only be a team. One team. I learnt my lesson back in University. We were not allowed to choose our lab partners and assignment partners. Strange right? The wisdom was simple - in real life, one does not get to choose his or her workmates, most of the time anyway. After all, *ahem*, this is the University of Melbourne. Ahem.

I have no idea why the some newspapers are screaming that the crisis in MCA has just deepened. It has just been solved. Everyone was expecting a winner. Sure, if one analyses the votes, it is split in the middle. By a darn small margin, the outcome was great.

And the biggest winner of them all? The bookies. No one expected both parties to be kicked out. Such is life.

Pimp Myself

So, here I am, trying to pimp myself - together with my friend, Eric. Two guys, interested in fucking gals, and we are more than happy to do a threesome. So, any gals out there interested in trying it with two really hamsap guys. Imagine, both your nipples being licked together. One guy sucking on your clit, while another rims you. A cock for you to suck on while one pounds your pussy... hard. If one guy tires, another guy takes over and fucks you hard. If you are really kinky, we could do a dp - double penetration. One guy in front, one at the back.... oh my.

Seriously, we are in Subang Jaya area and Johor Baru. No strings attached, but possible long term fuckbuddy arrangement. Do drop me a comments - all comments appear as private message to me and I will not publish your personal details. We will be discrete. Just don't yell too loudly when we are servicing you. Hahaha.

It's Raya

Once again, it is Raya and Salam Eid to all.

The good thing about raya, besides food, would be hot pussies. Let me explain further. I have some bloody annoying cats (stray or otherwise) that has their macho contest right outside my room - in a side lane. They are not my pussies, but they do keep me awake at night. They know darn well that I cannot get them. Not afraid of water either. So, what's my solution? Hot Pussies!

Years back, I got a water gun, albeit not the powerful type, fill it up with vinegar and spray them. The end results - sour pussies. Hahaha. Pun intended. Cats hate vinegar and when they try to lick it off, the look of sour pussies are worthless. Alas, it is a bit too troublesome to get up in the middle of the night to reload my gun. Ahem... What more, vinegar is kindda messy.

Then, someone suggested 'pop pop', a kind of fireworks. It is some encapsulated gunpowder - and when subjected to impact - such as being thrown to the ground, it pops. Popping pussies are fun. They do run at the sharp and loud noise, but there is a limited range on how far I can throw them.

Being Raya, I manage to get some more powerful fireworks. Light it, throw it, and it goes bang. That kind of fireworks. Range is the same as pop pop (relies on me throwing it), but it goes out with a bigger bang. Banging pussies are more fun.

Lastly, I got some moon travellers aka rockets. They fly for about 20 meters before going 'bang'. A flying pussy might well be fun.

Not to worry - no cats were hurt or will be hurt - just some excited pussies jumping around. I just want some sleep. After all, cats are bloody smart. If they know the object will explode, they keep away. Not easy to get pussies.

Singaporean Weather Report

Anyone paid attention to the Singaporean Weather report / forecast? I did so on ... I was watching some Singaporean channel and the news was on. No, it didn't take a naked news presenter to get my attention.

Here's what's weird. They spend heaps of time reporting the weather in Singapore. After all, how big would Singapore be? Then, there was the international weather report - including far away places like London. How much can the weather vary in Singapore? And isn't it true that there will be more Singaporeans in Melaka or Johor?

I would think that the Singaporean Government would do their citizens a favour by providing *useful* information? I think the report on Johor Baru, Melaka would be very useful, especially during the weekend.

F1 - What the eff?

Wow! Malaysia will field a F1 team. Can you imagine, in football, we rank worse than Yemen and some other third world countries. Maybe our footballers can be retrained to be F1 drivers. Trust me - that might be no different from the F1 drivers that the powers-to-be has selected.

On another note, I am in a full holiday mood now. Too darn lazy to have any work done. Yes, it is Raya and it is time to eat and sleep. Spend some time with my friends-with-benefits. And more time doing gardening. Sigh. Need to wash my car badly too...

15Malaysia

While I have enjoyed various 15Malaysia videos -you know what is ironic? It uses the .com domain. It wouldn't even use the .com.my domain name....well - that's so much for being proud to be Malaysian!

Hard Wood Massage

This could have been the hard-on massage instead of Hard Wood Massage. Around the corner from Souled Out, above the hardware shop, Hard Wood massage certainly gives more than just hard-ons. Now, this massage place is extremely great if you want something very naughty but not with whores. It gives a new massage around town - B2B - or body to body. Well, you can use your imagination here.

Service was great, the feel was sensual. Place is nicely decorated. RM 150 an hour. The gals will, on the side, provide extra services (which is a blowjob) but strictly no penetration. I like just a good, long, slow and hard sensual massage. Love being massaged but hate being rushed to cum. Some guys rush it, I take my time - even when I have sex. Which reminds me - the Kepong gal asked me... wow - how come you take so long to cum? Hmmm. What can I say?

Oh yeah - this place does provide happy endings :). Down side - takes about 15 mins of shower with lots of soap to get rid of the oil. Suppose it is a hard and slippery situation. But I can live with it. Hahaha.

Grow Grow Grow

Nope, not talking about my private part (that's good enough as it is, thank you very much), but rather the plants in my garden. For the past many years, the poor plants are either half dead or dead. Did lots of homework and research - found out that trace minerals were missing. The usual NPK fertilizer helped a bit, but not for long. Organic matter helped, but the plants looked weak.

So, after all my research, I settled for "ACE All Plant Food". Got it from Ace Hardware Summit, Taipan, RM 41.90 for 2.2kg. It has trace minerals like Boron, Zinc, copper and many more. Only two missing - magnesium and calcium. Tried mild dosages on a few selected plant as I didn't want to murder what was left of my garden. Nothing died. Increased dosage.

And the conclusion - it works. I am now using about 1 teaspoon (it has one included in the box) per watering can (which I estimated it to be about 5L of water). Once a week, every Saturday morning. The plants are growing well. Healthy. Started it on the trees outside my house - they haven't grown much for the last 15 years. Reminds of the film "pokok" by Nik Aziz as part of 15Malaysia by P1.

Nett nett - it works. To add calcium, just use egg shells - that's free and Epsom salt from Caring Pharmacy (RM 6, I think, per box) for magnesium. Oh - not too much, quarter of a teaspoon per 5L will do.

The downside is, it can cause water polution if the fertilizer is leached / washed away. In other words - use smartly (just like your private parts - it can be lots of fun if used sparingly and wisely). Hahaha.

What a effing weekend...

Cannot be bothered with Merdeka Day this year (not because I am not patriotic, but pissed off with the politics of BN).

However, I still had an effing weekend. It started on Friday evening. Flirting shamelessly online with a gal from Kepong. Knew her from Facebook. Wanted to go out for dinner with her but she has to go out for drinks with her boss after work. As luck would have it, she invited me over to her house and an invitation to stay overnite. Somehow, she requested for some adult DVDs.

Needless to say, I was at her place. Did watch some DVDs, lots of petting, touching and oh well... Feels great to hug her and fall asleep. One DVD we watched was Obsession, about a mad woman after a married man. Not a good DVD to watch on a first fuck date. Hahaha. Still keeping in touch with her and hope I get another invitation. Oh, sex was OK and always be safe - use a condom.

Speaking of which, it is bloody difficult to get XXL condoms here. The ones they have are so damn tight. All I can feel is the bloody rubber clinging on. Ordered some one eBay - lets hope they actually make it to me.

Yesterday, met up with M ... and had a good time in bed. She has great oral skills nowadays. Strongly believe that practice makes perfect.... hehehe.

Automax

Stumbled across this product call Automax by H2Oil, USA. It is suppose to be a fuel additive, but not sure if it is just a scam. Sold by Causeway at a cheap price - about RM 15 per 150ml when it is on discount. (Hell no, I am not a member of any MLM). Got it on eBay for RM 16 per bottle. Not bad at all.

Tested it twice. First time, I noticed the milage was up a bit, from my usual 12 or 13km/l to about 14.5 km/l. Drove from KL to Skudai for this test. In any case, my engine oil is filthy (12,000 km already). On the way back from Skudai to KL, I got only about 13.5km/l. In short - test not conclusive.

Last week, I didn't put in any Automax in the tank, but there must be about 100ppm (recommended 200ppm - or 1ml to 5litres of petrol). Guess what - I got 15.5km/l, driving around KL! Wow. But that could be due to two reasons - it is either Automax or PRIMAX95. So for this week, no more additive into PRIMAX95. My dad complains hell alot about PRIMAX95. Says his car is worse off with more vibrations.

So, this is at best not conclusive. Wondering what the actual results would be... anyone tested this product well?

If it was so good...

Jeff and gang has stated that the gated and guarded, now even fenced up part of our community is doing great. Security works well and there has been no incidences of crime. All in all, he says it is working very well. OK, let's not argue with him on this point.

But, that little bugger now suggests that "CCTV project must be implemented urgently...". What the eff? If everything is working so well, why add in CCTV? That's like wearing wearing three underwear, getting your balls really squeezed. Indeed, Jeff is trying to squeeze all of us for money for his little fantasy.

Real idiot. He appears to be so happy spending money, without the need to account for it. I've yet to see any audited accounts... He could have been the next MCA president...

Najib's Hair

Anyone noticed lately? Prime Minister Najib's hair is getting 'blacker' by the day. This chap is smart. The dye is progressive. It starts from the back, slowly moving towards the front now.

Guess he must have a better image. Lets see how this helps him with his new 1Malaysia image.

English?

A bunch of politicians and self-appointed defender of Bahasa Malaysia is calling the Malaysian Rulers to rule that Maths and Science in schools must be taught in Bahasa Malaysia. They say, this is to defend the national language.

The problems starts with "Matematik dan Sains". That's Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia (BM). BM nowadays is nothing more than a systematic mispelt version of English. "Matematik" was Ilmu Hisab (which was probably from Arabic anyway). "Sains" use to be "Ilmu Alam". Even the word "isu" is from English. "Canggih" has long been replaced by mispelt "sofistikated" or it should be sophisticated. Other words (no pun intended): edisi (edition), kualiti (quality - used to be "mutu"), nasional (national), klinik (clinic), dokumen (document), projek (project), bajet (budget)... and the list goes on.

With so many English words in the Malay language, the language is essentially dead. That's sad. Mind you, I am all for a national language, but it must be preserved. Having it peppered with mispelt words doesn't give it any heart or soul. It's not that there are lack of words in BM that we have to borrow English words. Most words to exist in BM, but the English version just sounds better, I guess. Of course, in Science and Maths - a fair deal of words must be borrowed from "English"...

Idiots on Patrol

After suggesting to the committee here that is a good idea to have joint patrol between the residences and the police to enhance neighbourhood security, the committee has taken up the suggestion.

With one minor problem - the said patrol shall be carried out every Sunday morning at 10am.

This is the part that I go, what the eff. Why have a fixed schedule for patrol? Is there an understanding with the criminals that they will attempt crime only on Sunday morning at 10am to 11am? Fuck it. That's plain dumb. If the patrol is on every Sunday morning, criminals will just avoid our area on Sunday mornings only. Other times are fair game! Patrols must be random for them to be effective.

This is the result of amateurs trying to do a professional's job. I say, leave things to the pros, sit back and watch how it is done.

Ulik Kencana

I decided that I needed a good massage lately, and decided to drop by Ulik Kencana, SS14. Darn difficult to locate - as the shop is plain, and the sign board can blends into the background. Sounds like a shop from Harry Potter's stories.

Cost is RM 90 per hour, which is bloody expensive. Taipan charges RM 45 per hour. That's twice the amount. When querried, the gal said that included urut batin. That would be a fair amount to pay. Urut batin usually cost RM 50 extra.

Nothing sexy about the massage lady, Ayu. But her massage was really good - very relaxing. Downside is the place is without air-condition; so, it's a massage plus a sauna. I almost fell asleep during the massage. The urut batin was OK, just OK. Nothing fantasitc.

Will I return - I am not sure. It is a bit expensive and nothing too sexy either. Might return if I have some spare change and in need of a good massage.

The Legal Ah Longs?

I sent a cheque to pay one of my many credit cards, and the cheque arrived a couple of days late. Since the bank had a very good warning system, I got a SMS about late payment before I was fined. So, I have the opportunity to pay up, which I did.

Today - I got a phone call from the same bank. The sweet voice asked me if I would like to transfer cash from my credit card account to my bank account - at a very low rate of 0.75% per month. Or was I interested in a card with higher limit? How about refinancing for another credit card - that's credit transfer.

Was it a coincidence? Or they noticed I made one payment a few days late? The mind boggles. And yeah, the late payment - it was for an amount of RM 50 only!

Security or Safety?

Tough call when it comes to security or safety. Ideally, we want both. Was approached by a salesman recently - to upgrade the tint on my car with a secure tint. Apparently, it is very difficult to break - hence security.

My immediate thought - why happens if there is an accident and I need help? The secure tint might not be good. People might not be able to reach me. Then again, if the Fire Department can cut thru metal, they should not have problems with the tint.

Difficult to say is the tint good, but I am not installing it - but that's more for financial reasons!