Mind Boggling

I am very amused. Australia has a policy to grant permanent residence (PR) status to professionals or to people with skills in need. In the news today, a group is lobbying for sex workers to be recognized for migration to Australia.

As an engineer, I was once granted PR for skilled migration - engineer. To qualify, one must have accredited engineering degree, etc etc. Which leads me to the question - how exactly will Immigrations Australia 'qualify' sex workers.

Firstly, I would be sure interested to be an immigration officer to assess sex workers. I am sure that could be a darn fun job. Would there be a section on oral examination? What would be the most polite way to say "Please bend over. Immigrations would like to screw you?". Don't they (governments) do that often enough already? :P Or bonus points be given to applicants with pole dancing skills? Or is that a separate skill set all together? How about tricks like putting on a condom without using hands? Or perhaps "Please demonstrate all positions ...". Hmmm. And what if they are into S&M? The mind boggles.

How does the applicant acquire accreditation? From a professional body (no pun intended)? Or from client references? Client satisfaction survey? Is more experience better or less experience better? How much 'training' would be required? Would there be a age limit?

Assuming that the applicants have a clean bill of health, inspectors / officers might still have a few worries. Imagine, what if one day, he is not up to expectations? Or unable to perform? Would he go "Hey Dick, mind standing in for this one? I am a little exhausted." What if they are married men? "Sorry honey, not tonight. We were really short of manpower at work." How would repetitive stress injury be address? Will WorkCover caution "Enter with care"? Or "Remember to change positions every five minutes". Or Unions demanding "better work conditions" (refuse to perform unless beer is provided on the job) ? Worst of all, what if the inspector sees a candidate that he doesn't want to assess? Will that affect his bonus or promotion at the end of the year?

How about perks for the job? Unlimited supply of Viagra? Free access to gyms (they do need to stay fit to be up to the job)? Free porn? Or will training be provided for the job? Subsidized dildos for wife / spouse / girlfriend(s) ?

There is also an element of abuse. What if the officer enjoys his work too much? For example, he may find it very enjoyable to examine a candidate. To ensure follow up action, he fails the candidate and orders a re-sit. That would be gross violation of authority. So, will someone suggest the examination be carried out by two examiners at any time? Kinky. Or will it be " for quality assurance purposes, please note that your call / act will be recorded for monitoring purposes"? Reminds me of calling Commonwealth Bank.

Looks like there is still alot of probing to be done on this issue. And don't get me started on gays, lesbians, gigolos... After all, one must not discriminate.