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Tuesday 1 May 2012

Massage at SS15, Subang Jaya

Firstly, let me thank an acquaintance for this lead.

After getting the lead, I decided to check the place out. It's along SS15/4B, near a 7-11...and yes, for those who know it, it's Y***. Based on my lead, I requested for number 2. It was about 9pm on a Friday and surprisingly, I was the only customer there. A few more customers came in an hour later. I guess it's for the late night massages.

The massage was OK. I would give it about 7/10. Mind you, I like a strong massage but not till the point it hurts like hell. Some masseuses have what I would like to call the Thumb of Death. They will pinch, poke or rub one spot till it hurts like hell. Those are not mind kind. I like a slow massage, but strong. Pressure is OK - but not spot pressure (the Thumb of Death). Fast rubbing is out for me (unless, it's the.... you get it). So, that's how I rate it.

In any case, the best massages are either in Bali or Bangkok (proper ones, thank you). I do get feedback "But the Thai ones are better" or "Bali is still the best". Yes la. Steak in US is also good - but what choices have we here? I miss oysters in Vancouver too. Alas, we can only write and enjoy what's within the realms of Kuala Lumpur.

Back to the massage: Yes, it was good. Enjoyable. Warning: Spoiler alert. Do not read on if you want a surprise. OK?

So, I took this Number 2 because someone said she has a pair of killer boobs (not to be confused with the word death as in Thumb of Death). I did notice she had a firm pair of very sizeable boobs. After massaging my back, she asks me to turn over. I did.

Surprise! She lifted up her shirt and started to massage me with her assets. That wasn't the surprise actually. The WOW factor was : She wasn't wearing any bra. And it looked so good when she had her shirt on. My definition of killer boobs is: The size and shape stays exactly the same when the bra has been removed. So yes, she had big and firm... oh well. You get the idea.

The next part had me blushing, and covering my face with no where to hide. By then, a few other customers were there. This place had curtains between 'cubicles'. She started talking to her colleagues. I can understand some Chinese, (despite being constantly labelled Cina). The conversation went something like this:

Number 2: Wow very big. 
Her colleague: Hahaha. What's very big.
Number 2: His 'tool'. 
Her colleague: How big?
Number 2: As thick as my wrist.
Her colleague: Really?
Number 2: Yeah. It's long too....and I like it alot.

Me: Shit, hope I don't kena rape. And no need to announce to everyone else present. I am sure the other customers could understand.

And after some time...

Number 2: He can last very long too.... so good for making love.

What more can I say..... Aiks.

Bersih 2.0: The Aftermath

Well, we now know what happened last Saturday. No need for me to dwell on it.

Let's start with a question. Is there a more effective way? Yes, we must all think, is there a more effective method of 'protesting' against the government? Bersih 2.0 sit-in protest was good, created some drama, lots of people showed their support. But alas, is it effective? I am sure some buggers would say...Shit, we failed to hit Anwar with a gas canister this time... Why didn't I beat a few more protestors? Aiyoo... shouldn't have smashed that camera - could have given it to my mistress.

Here, I have a few suggestion. Firstly, let's understand what motivates most Malaysians, especially BN politicians. Tell me, what makes their balls tingles, their hearts racing? What's their undying love for?

Now, the answer: Loyalty to the King. They are very loyal to the King. And here's what I mean:

See. Even we get excited right? And they cannot get enough of His Majesty's picture. They want more and more of it.

Here's my suggestion of a real 'protest' against the current day government. Don't feed it. Don't just protest, starve it. Cut-off its balls, if they have balls to start off with, of course.

Firstly, let me note that all suggestions must be done via legal channels. Nothing illegal, please. 

  1. Reduce EPF money. EPF controls our billions, to bail out ailing cronies, and what not. How? Easy. There is a EPF scheme that allows us to invest our money in private mutual funds, like Public Mutual - for example. So, talk to your (select a good one!) financial investment friend, and find out more on how to invest in mutual funds. This way, EPF will have even less of our money. I cannot remember the details, but I have transferred as much as permissible to various mutual funds. Do select a good mutual fund, so that we can enjoy very good returns too. This way, we can screw the government while making some money.
  2. Stop buying new cars - unless we really really need it. Drive it till it falls apart, or gets written off in an accident. When we buy a new car, chances are we will take a loan. Part of the loan is to pay government taxes. In other words, the government spends the money, we pay the loan. Kindda stupid, if you were to ask me. So, as much as possible, drive a piece of old junk till it falls apart. If you must buy a car, buy one with absolute minimum tax. And yes, there is tax even on Proton and Perodua. It's time to choke the bastards by keeping our old cars.
  3. Next, withdraw all savings and investments linked to the government. We can opt for banks (HSBC, CIMB, Maybank, Public Bank, Standard & Chartered, Kuwait Finance House, etc). Or even gold. There are plenty of other places to invest. So, take the money out from Government Link Investments (bonds, sukuk, Wawasan 2020, ASN 1, 2, 3, and the whole lot of it).
  4. If possible, don't even keep our wealth in Ringgit. Go for gold. silver, real estate... but never diamonds. This wealth can still be kept within the country but out of the government's reach.
  5. More drastic, send the money overseas. Ensure you use legal means. Some will accuse me of being 'unpatriotic'. No, I am just trying to cure the country of cancer. I love this country. It's the cancer that's killing it, and us. If this is too drastic for you, just keep to step 4.
  6. This is harder, but I've done it. Quit full time employment if your salary is above RM 7000 or so. Actually, even for RM 4000 you can consider about it. Instead, start your own (sole proprietor) business and sign a contract (business to business...boy, I just love B2B right?). This way, you have control of your money. When you are an employer-employee relationship; you will just be a sitting duck. Government says tax, you must pay. 1Clinic comes up, they say everyone must pay another 10%, you pay. SOCSO goes up, you pay. How much to ask for in your contract? Example: If your salary is RM 5000, you can ask for a RM 6000 contract - coz the company no longer pays for your EPF. Benefits are:
  • You have control of your money.
  • You can invest in any form, besides EPF. You must still save for old age, but now, you have your choice.
  • Pay taxes. It's must. But now, expense out all allowable expenses (petrol, toll, car repair, entertainment, office upkeep - all within reasonable amounts!), then let them tax. In short, they only tax on what's left. When you are employed - they tax on what you get!
  • Even if they enforce EPF, SOCSO and 1Clinic on business owners, business owners (we) can draw minimum salary of RM 900 per month. Then, take all you want based on RM 900. Balance is profit - which is subjected to personal income tax rate anyway. 
  • It makes us a better person. I no longer sit in the office and Facebook. Now, it's my bloody office and if I don't work, I don't get paid. I get to work as little as I want, and as much as I want. 
  • Keeps us away from the handout mentality: "Boss, got pay raise ah?", or "Boss, why no bonus?". When you are the boss, you will have a million and two reasons why "No pay raise" and "Why no bonus".
  • Now, we must really perform - otherwise, we will lose our contract. That's a good thing for us, as individuals and for the nation.

WE must change ourselves first. Just a one day rally cannot do too much. It's just like eating vege for a day - it won't cure anyone of cancer.

Avoid anything that pays money to the government - legally of course. Some food have service tax - avoid it. Avoid buying NFC (Labelled Golden Gemas) meat, for example.

In short: We must hit where it hurts the most. Since they don't have balls, there is really no point in kicking them at the crotch. Instead, go after their wallets. Be wise, protest wisely and effectively.

Note: I do support Bersih, but using more effective means to compel the government to work in our favour.