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Friday 18 November 2011

How Did I Score

Nope - this is not related to how I would score with girls. It's how I score in the little heart and soul test - at Jojo's request to know my score.

  1. Yes, I do visit orphanage. Did the last about two months ago. On average, it is once a year. Do note - I prefer to give directly to charities (as in going directly to the orphanage, etc); rather than donate to those by the street. It's really I don't want to encourage scams or professional beggars. 
  2. Yes - almost always stop for pedestrians; unless it is a danger to myself. No bloody point stopping in the middle of the highway. I work in dangerous environments too for my professional work. When I see workers repairing roads or even cleaning the road sides, I slow down. Accidents can happen. It's very sad to read when someone has to die just to maintain the roads we use. Most of the foreign workers who keep our roads clean will almost never get a chance to buy a car and drive it in Malaysia. So yes - if you see people by the road side, do slow down. 
  3. I will be most unkind if they keep screwing up or worse still, lie to me. In the past, I will fight for their salary increase first, before mine. Obviously I won't be too popular with management after a long debate on why they deserve a pay increase. However, I am performance focused. I prefer to keep salaries low. Better if there is no salary. The reward will be in performance bonus or a very good incentive / commission scheme.
  4. I apply the gossip test to others. At work, I am very strict. So, no one would feed me with any rumours, unless they have a death wish or something like that.
  5. Don't pretend to be the best brother. But at least my sister won't run away from me. Or asks me to stay away from her. I guess I am just average in this area.
  6. I drive a very old Proton Wira - so, this doesn't apply. My idea is really simple. My car is her to serve me. Not the other way round. If it gets scratched, well - it is bound to happen, just a matter of sooner or later. Won't worry too much about it. My bumper is still half broken as a result of someone reversing into it. Happened while I was in the car, and I didn't ask for the other driver to pay for it. I mean, it will be broken again sooner or later and it serves no bloody purposes - especially if it is the soft ABS type of bumpers on my Proton.
  7. As above - I don't have expensive stuff. If it is a pretty gal who spills sauce on me, I might ask her to buy me dinner... or even ask her to have dinner with me and I will buy her dinner. Don't wonder why.
  8. A good collection of porn, but I read a wide variety. Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, The Lost Symbol ... and academic books. Have a good book collection. 
  9. I would just wait around. A neutral feeling, I suppose. If she really doesn't have the change, and the amount is small, I might just pay for her.
  10. Just hope the Ah Pek won't put the car into reverse gear and accelerate into me. My reaction is usually to keep my distance, rather than some idiots who will tailgate closely, honk and flash headlights. No point making the Ah Pek (old man) nervous. Look at it this way. If he is rich, he can afford the damages. Most young drivers cannot afford the damage. If he is poor, his car is probably a old car with a strong chassis. Damage will be on the car at the back. And very interestingly, unless you can provide documented evidence, the car at the back is wrong (legally). The police will ask "Who asked you to follow so closely". So, yeah - I rather worry about my own position than yell at the driver in front.
  11. I stay very close to where my parents are - and we meet for dinner at least twice a week. Not the best son, but well, I am OK I suppose.
  12. Prefer to go out with the ground level staff. At an informal setting, they will tell you heaps more (about work) than in the office. If at work, things fail and there seem to be no answer or a solution, start talking to the ground staff. Chances are, they will have observations or even ideas that will work. And they would never voice out in work - which we can all understand especially management thinks they are just dumb-ass.
  13. I am usually nice to everyone, unless they lie, cheat or do something really malice to me.
  14. Never date or slept with someone just based on looks. As stated, I value a kind heart and a good soul.
  15. H did ask me once. I told her not to worry if she gets pregnant. Just tell me. I may not marry her, but we will still have the kid together if she wants to. 
All in all, I would say H is a better person that I am. I think she is kinder, and yeah - that's why I like her.

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Asshole of a Boyfriend

I just read this article:

Sin Chew Daily reported that a 16-year-old girl in Singapore had resorted to starving and vomiting after a remark about her weight from her boyfriend.
She only ate a piece of chocolate a day and eventually became anorexic.
The daily reported that the girl, known only as Jane, was a high achiever in school and felt bad after her boyfriend said she had put on some weight.
Jane would stay in her classroom even during recess to avoid seeing other students eating and only allowed herself sips of plain water.
She added that if she accidentally ate, she would forcefully vomit until her throat bled.


What kind of boyfriend would that be? Why comment on her weight? Ladies hate it when commented about their weight. I hate it too. Some would say, hey - you put on a few kilos. Or you look slimmer. I mean, it's my body. As if I needed someone to tell me I am fat or I lost weight. 

Mind you, such statements are of zero value. At best, it is just pointing out the problem. One could say, "Hey dear, let's go hiking together this weekend", or join a gym together. That would be a solution. Unfortunately we see this kind of zero-value bastards everywhere, including in the office. "Boss, sales down". I mean, fuck you. Everyone knows sales is down. Even the cleaner knows it. So? Here you are, on an executive salary scheme, giving me a statement that the cleaner could have told me. I usually tell them upfront about it and suggest they take up the cleaner's salary. Fair right?

And girls. If anyone comments about your weight, especially your boyfriends / hubby - please be strong. Don't end up anorexic. You could reply "Yeah - when I diet, I can become slim. But your dick will always be small". Ouch. Do consider that response. And please, dump that bastard. You deserve better. Why have someone who can only point of flaws, and with zero-value add? It makes the situation worse and he won't be able to help one iota. 

So, dump him. If you cannot tell him to his face his dick is small, better still - tell all your hot, sexy  friends that his dick is small and he provides zero-value yet hurtful comments. After dumping him, work-out at a gym, lose weight and then make him regret it to the point he is willing to cut-off his own balls. By the way, don't lose weight by dieting. Working out is better. It's healthier too.

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Indelible Ink

The AG maintains that the ink can be misused. His case is - if someone gets hold of the ink, and then, simply marks in on say all folks from a village. These folks would then be barred from voting, thus being unfair to them.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/11/15/nation/20111115205440&sec=nation

So, my dear AG - how does this differ from the requirement to present MyKad to vote?
Someone pays the villagers RM 50 each, keeps their MyKad for 24 hours on voting day. Villagers, without the MyKad, cannot vote. Wouldn't that be a violation of their constitution rights?

We all know what is happening. Since MyKad is a require and it is a non-issue, what is the issue then with the indelible ink? I know. We know. It has to do with one of the 4Cs.... cheating.


Hamsap in Shah Alam

I was at this hypermarket in Shah Alam. It was a somewhat busy Sunday, with some promoter gals offering food samples, etc to try. One young, cute, tudung-clad gal come up to me.

Gal: Hi. Nak cuba?
Me: Oh. Itu soalan bahaya. Nak cuba apa?
Gal: Hehehe.
Me: OK la. I cuba.
Gal: Hehehe.

I decided to push my luck.

Me: Nak cuba, boleh?
Gal: Hehehe.

Then, we happily exchanged our phone number. The following day was her off day from work. Suffice to say - it was a 'very satisfying' date at a hotel. We did cuba (try) heaps. Good thing is, she didn't go hehehe anyone once we started 'trying' each other.

Sunday 13 November 2011

A test of the heart & soul

The great emphasis nowadays is the mind. From young, mothers are bombarded with messages for DHA milk, make her child learn the fastest and be the smartest. Then, we reward 'bright' students. And in the big bad world, it is all about the money money money. To earn more, one will need a good mind or skills. The objective - to buy a new iPhone, or a new handbag, a car perhaps, gadgets and go clubbing. 

Occasionally, I would get this question "Does she love me?" or "Should I marry her?". I mean, how would I know. Most of the time, I do not know the other party. But for one to ask such a question, it usually means more than just cold feet. There could be some serious doubt.

Recently, H and I organized a visit to a orphanage in Klang. We contacted our friends and I could say almost everyone contributed. H was however very annoyed with one rich, towkey. This guy has been flirting with H for ages - well before I got to know H. It never went beyond flirting - and some very very dirty talk. Now that H has some equally sexy friends, this towkey (businessman) enjoys going out with H for clubbing. He usually pays for the bills. However, when H asked him to donate for the orphanage - his true colours showed. He promised, and then - kept quiet and did nothing. Even worse, started not showing up for their clubbing sessions. No one would understand why. Firstly, if he had donated lots of money, the girls would have adored him, and perhaps would go beyond flirting. After all, he was paying tonnes for drinks. Trust me, the bills can be up to RM 3000 per night just for drinks. H's feelings? Best described by the phrase "hell has no fury like a woman scorned." Note - H is furious at his lack of compassion, not the guy no longer buying her drinks. Trust me - she can get free drinks anytime from almost anyone (lesbians / bi included) if she so wanted to.

Either way, that guy would have come up tops - if he had donated RM 100. Firstly, our largest donor was RM 200 by a very generous gal. It surprised even me. This taukey could have done RM 1000 easily. If he did it for sex, surely a number of gals would have bought it. If he did it purely out of kindness, he would have just enjoyed helping others. But he didn't. Not only that, now the girls are naturally - not only avoiding him, but posted enough on Facebook to remind me to be generous in such future events - if I needed the reminder anyway. It is worth repeating - Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. I also learnt (and will remember) that in addition to just posting stuff on Facebook, this bunch of sexy gals actually call each other almost immediately and discuss about it. In great detail.

Now, back to the topic - how do we test someone's heart and soul? It is not that difficult. Here are some suggestions - and you get the general idea. Test apply to both guys and gals - although I use the gender specific pronoun.

  1. Organize a trip to a orphanage or a old folks home. Ask your friends to join in or to donate. Now, you get to see what the person is. Will the gal with the latest Gucci and the complete LV collection donate the most? Will the guy with a Ferrari give the kids a ride? Post it on your FB wall...and see who actually replies. If you are a pretty girl or a rich guy - compare the response to a post like "Hey - tonight I wanna go clubbing at <>. Who wanna  join me?"
  2. Does he stop for pedestrians? Or give way to others? Does she jump the queue while driving? It says a lot about a person. It shows how much they care for others.
  3. How does he treat his subordinates? Does he appreciate their help? Or think his subordinates or team mates are a burden? What happens when someone in his team makes a mistake? Does she gossip? Apply the gossip test. Have one trusted person plant a rumor in her. See if it spreads.
  4. How does she treat her siblings? Spends time with them? Are her siblings (usually younger) close to her or would they run away / keep away?
  5. How much time does she spend with her parents? If you schedule a date with her, would she jump at it and 'dump' her parents? Or would she say, sorry - "I have to go out with my mother"? Or does she say "Aiyoo Ah Ma.... why need to go to the hospital again? You ask sister to take you la...".
  6. Is he a Mr. Price-tag? Borrow his car (if he has a fancy one.). Call him 30 minutes later. Tell him you had an accident. Does he ask about you first, or his car first? If he is more worried about his car than you, and you do not appreciate that, consider dumping him and a way to keep the car.
    Note: Do not lie. Just say you met with an accident. Do not say what accident. It could be running over a gecko or a fly was killed when it hit the windscreen. You get the idea.
  7. What happens if a waiter spills wine on her RM5000 LV bag? Does she become an ugly Miss Price-Tag yelling and shouting, reminding the poor waiting the he would never ever afford the bag? Then tell him how expensive the aged French wine is and he will never be able to enjoy it. Or will she forgive the poor waiter when he has apologized? The thing is this - the really rich ones and for the few who can afford the expensive stuff - they usually cannot be too bothered about all these. To them, it's just buy another.
  8. Does she have more books or more shoes? Does he have more books or porn DVDs? What does one read? Romance? Humanities? Self help? How to sell more, make more money?
  9. How does she react in a check-out queue when an old lady in front asks for the total amount for the tenth time before hearing it, then starts fumbling for the exact change? Does she roll her eyes with the please drop dead somewhere else expression? Or does she say - poor old lady. Or does she run out to the cosmetic aisle and get more 'anti-wrinkle' cream for herself with the better-not-end-up-like-her expression? 
  10. What if the Ah Pek (old man) in front of him drives really slow and takes almost forever to get out of a junction? Would he start swearing? Or will he just take the opportunity and appreciate your sexy thighs? That would be how he would be treating you when you are old and slow.
  11. When was the last time he took his father out for a meal? Or she took her mum out shopping? It does not count if it goes like "Ah Pa...eat faster la. I wanna date that hot gal / <> la... cannot tahan already."
  12. Does he go out for lunch with anyone from the office, or only equals? Or does she try to go out for lunch only with the Mat Salleh boss? If there is an office function, does he mingle with his bosses only, or does he ensure that his staff are well fed and comfortable? I learnt that this means a lot to non-executive staff. Bad enough they already feel out of place, and their immediate superiors won't even talk to them.
  13. When he shows up for the interview, how does he treat the reception? Ask a cleaner to mop the floor or vacuum the place, where she is sitting. What does her face say? How one treats subordinates is the true reflection of his/her heart & soul.
  14. Don't just ask your sexy friend to hit on your bf to see how he reacts or will he cheat on you. Instead, ask one that's ordinary looking, or less sexy (in his terms), or someone completely not his taste and hit on him. How would he reject her? Kindly or a stab-in-the-heart type? I've heard it all from "If you lose 50 pounds, then I will consider" or "I am so pretty, sure I can date better guys. If you are driving a BMW...then, I might date you la".
  15. Ask him "Dear...what if I am pregnant?" (for non hubby cases). See what happens. Best if you can set it up - as in SMS him to say you have something important to ask him, book a restaurant. Make it like a 'big event'. However, do note : Ask him what if you are pregnant. Don't lie and say you are pregnant - if you are not. If he finds out you are lying and he dumps you - I am not liable for it.
There is no right or wrong response. Consider this. If the sexytary wants to bed the boss for a quick promotion, and the boss is the real hamsap and flirty type - good. Match made in heaven.

If he is after her bedroom skills and she is after his money - good. They can go screw each other.

The problem starts with when he wants a wife and she wants a sugar daddy. Or he wants a fuck buddy and she wants a family. Be wise. It's a cruel world.

Friday 4 November 2011

Hamsap B2B Massage at Bandar Permaisuri, Cheras

It has been sometime since I had a good B2B massage. This time, I ventured out to Cheras - very far from where I stay. But alas, the trip was worth it. This place is near Smart Hotel. That's about all I know. The rest of the work was done by my GPS. BTW - I really have not much of a clue about Cheras.

When I arrived, my buddy OKT Ah Chai greeted me. There were only three massage ladies available - all in their 30s. The two Thais were sexy and super busty. But he told me to try the lady from China. He told me she's the BJ master.

So, off I went. The body to body (B2B) massage started soon enough. It was pretty ordinary for a B2B massage. She knew how to excite. She knew what needed to be massaged. Then, I turned over (massages usually start lying on the stomach); and she continue with the massage.


Then came the question "Do you want a BJ?" I kept quiet. Next question, very seductively "How about fire & ice? Or make love?" I opted for the Fire & Ice. What is it? It's simple. She brings in two glasses of water. Gives me a regular BJ (which she is really good at), takes a small gulp of cold water and continues with her BJ. This is done with the cold water in her mouth. It was a very good and over-whelming sensation. 


After a minute or two, she spit out the now warm-water into a bucket, and slithered her naked body up my body...and whispered in my ears.. "You like that?" My cock was between her legs, just outside her pussy. Well, given my difficult position, I could not disagree with her. Next question " Can you control? Or do you want to cum? If you want to cum, let me know. The 'fire' BJ will be very intense... most guys cum immediately". 

I said I was OK. She wanted confirmation "Just OK? Or can still take it?". I said "Can". 

So, she started the "Fire" BJ. And true to her words, it was very intense. What a feeling. I was on the verge of a "happy ending", but I manage to hold on to it. To cut a long story short, she kept alternating between fire and ice, so to speak. It was really good. 

Towards the end, again with her body pressed against mine, she pointed to the two almost empty cups. She said " I like it... you know how to control." We gave each other wicked smile before she continued with Fire till I came in her mouth. She sucked like ...well, a pro. "You shoot hard". Oh well, what would you expect? "Wish we can make love"....then I should be charging her.

All in all, it was a very pleasurable session for an hour. Tipped her a fair bit. Official fee would be RM 120 only. I must mention Ah Chai gives me a special rate. For those with mild erection problems, you might wanna consider some Viagra / Cialis before this...just to keep it hard during ice. For the record, I needed no "supplements" for my "performance". 

Have fun!

Relationship Status

The term "Complicated" as a relationship status is sure overused. And misused. As for most relationships, it is far from complicated. The status "Complicated" should be reserved for truly complicated relationships. For example:

Complicated:
Abby loves Adam. However, Adam's dad has been secretly fucking Abby. Abby does it for cash. Adam does not know about it. Adam's sister, Sue, knows about her dad and Abby's relationship. Sue is a lesbian and has the hots for Abby. Sue blackmails Abby to sleep with her. Reluctantly, Abby agrees as she still wants to be with Adam.

Twisted:
Same as above, but Abby is pregnant with Adam's dad child. Abby and Adam will get married soon. Sue wants extra time with Abby after the marriage. Adam is actually gay.

So, if the relationship is nothing like the above, please stop using the word 'complicated'. It is not complicated. See below for the proper definitions (to me at least)

MBA
Married but available. It could be a open MBA, or a secretive one. 

Dilemma
Unsure if one wants to continue with the current bf/gf or husband/wife relationship. 
Example: Relationship status: In Dilemma with Amber.

WFO
Waiting for Opportunity. When the time is right, this person will terminate / end relationship with current partner. The right 'time' could be:
  • When a rich 80 year old comes along. He does not have any heir either. Does not matter if he has hair or not. 
  •  A sexy 17 year old comes along, with natural C cups, 170cm tall and loves sex.
You get the idea.

SAD - Class 1
Single and Desirable

SAD - Class 2
Single and desperate

Cheating On & Cheating With
Example: Relationship status: Cheating on Wilson; cheating with Johnny. 

If anyone declares it as such, it am sure it will make the Jerry Springer show look like Sesame Street.

For Show
Example: Relationship Status: In relationship with Camelia; For Show with Dianna.

Very suitable for those who has one for show; and one whom he really loves. Typically for males; but rich datin-datins are catching on too.

For Money
Similar as above, but more applicable to girls. Guys are catching on too.

For Sex
Example: Married to Kent; for sex with Jimmy & Sue.

Suitable for the bored housewives or house-husbands.

SNA
Single and not available. Happy with being alone. Don't ask any more. Moving on...

Yoyo
Example: Gal loves guy. After some time, starts fighting / arguing. Dumps guy. Stuff herself with food / Guy drinks and gets messed up. Make up, loves him again. Starts dieting for him / he repents and promises to quick drinking / smoking / gambling. Repeat.

Love-Hate: Class 1
Example: John loves to hate Sue. 
John actually enjoys hating / arguing / fighting with Sue. This feeling is mutual. Typically found in older relationships (both above 60 years old) and for whatever reason, they cannot go separate ways (like staying with separate kids for a few months). Must be together and keep arguing / nagging.

Love-Hate: Class 2
Sometimes they love each other; sometimes they hate each other. But not as severe as yoyo.

Mental
Status suitable for stalkers, those who yell none stop when they see Justin Beiber on stage; in-love with some manga character; spends more time with his sports car than his wife; having an online relationship with a 'pretty gal' when it is actually a twisted fat-so impersonating a 18-year-old girl. Frankly, most of us are under this category.


I recently read one:
Facebook should have a new feature. If one changes his or her status more than 3 times per month, it should automatically be "Unstable".


Budget 2011

Well, after hearing the budget from both sides of the house - nothing impressive. We all know which is worse and it is just like a bloody band-aid solution when the patient is almost dead.

Here are some ideas that I have:
  • To keep prices of food low, all duties and excise tax on machinery directly involved in food production to be abolished.
  • To help businesses, all individuals wishing to register for businesses (under Enterprise) with SSM will only be charged RM 10.
  • All Sdn Bhd companies - with all shareholders as directors - will no longer require company audits.
  • Stamp duty on all new Sdn Bhd companies with paid up capital of less than RM 100k will be halved.
  • Fees for all traders in pasar malam, pasar, hawkers to be abolished.
  • Petrol will no longer be subsidized.
  • Cars APs will be abolished. All cars can be imported freely.
  • However, excise duty on cars will remain with: 10% for cars rated to achieve 15km or more per litre of petrol (or equivalent in diesel); 15% tax on cars rated to achieve 11km per liter of fuel; 30% tax on cars with efficiency of less than 10km per liter of fuel. This is based on cruising speed of 100kmph.
  • Road tax will be base on vehicle tonnage rather than on engine capacity. (as new hybrid vehicles have very small engines. After all, it is the weight of the vehicle that causes damage to roads).
  • All excise and duties for busses, taxis (but must be used as a taxi for more than 8 years), lorries will be abolished.
  • To assist SMEs, import and excise duties for all machinery using less than 10kW of power (or equivalent for gas-powered) will be abolished.
  • Municipal councils will be allocated budget to legalize all illegal hawkers / traders. This includes providing them with stores and proper places to trade. (Why do we do a 'pemutihan' for illegal workers who are not even citizens but yet never even help citizens).
  • Immediate ban on all logging and export of logs.
  • For companies awarded under the Bumiputra status / quota - make it mandotary that their entire work-force (for staff with salary less than RM 3000) to be Malaysians. This is to prevent them from getting the projects being turned to Ali-Bangla or Ali-Bakso projects.
  • Government will not interfere with private sector. (Eg - don't ask Telcos to absorb service tax).
  • Service tax for mobile phones will be abolished.
  • Taxes on all books and stationery to be abolished.
  • Import and excise duty on all exercise equipment to be abolished.
  • Service tax for gyms, sporting venues to be abolished.
  • Sales tax for fast food (McD, KFC, A&W) be increased to 10%.
  • Gaming tax on lotteries, 4D, etc to be doubled.
  • Entertainment tax for cinemas to be abolished.
  • Personal income tax relief for purchase of books to be increased to RM 1000.
  • Bernas will no longer hold the sole permit to import rice. 
  • All students will be issued with public transport passes to ride on all public transport for RM 10 per month.
  • Instead of a RM 200 book voucher, all textbooks will be given free of charge to all students in public schools.
  • Government will buy over rights of workbooks, and allow students to buy workbooks at cost for printing only.
  • Will set up a Energy Efficiency agency.
  • All energy efficient light bulbs, fridges, IT equipment, air-conditions will not be taxed.
  • Electrical items not energy efficient / not rated will be taxed 20%.
  • Personal income of less than RM 3500 per month will not be taxed.
  • Tax and duties on all fertilizers; agro related chemicals for domestic consumption to be abolished.
  • Minimum wage for all civil servants to be RM 1200 per month. However, minimum productivity will be introduced (let's get rid of the Monday-Blues 
  • Maximum wage for all civil servants to be RM 10,000 per month
  • All pensioners with pensions less than RM 1000 will receive a pension of RM 1000. 
  • FELDA - only FELDA settles will determine their own future. They will be given a chance to vote if they want to publicly list this entity.
  • FELDA must be headed by someone who has planted and tended to at least 1000 oil-palm trees over the last 5 years instead of someone who has been found guilty of money politics.
In order to save money to finance the above:
  • All government tenders will be open tenders. No exceptions.
  • Will start policy similar to the GSA by the US Government (http://www.gsa.gov/). All vendors must be registered; and prices are available online. If anyone is caught selling cheaper to others (non Malaysian Government); they will be removed from the list of vendors. (Interesting note - do see this link http://bit.ly/oPKA5V ). Directors will be blacklisted for 10 years.
  • Immediate stop to all public relations campaign / adverts including but not limited 1Malaysia; congratulation notes to Prime Ministers / Wife of PM in New York / Mentri Besars; Wawasan 2020; meaningless songs by RTM; and other 'syiok sendiri' programmes.
  • All government functions must be held in their own premises. No more hotel or resorts.
  • For all functions, if attended by only the civil service, no food will be provided at the expense of the tax payers.
  • For public function with more than 90% non-government staff attending, a cap of RM 25 per pax on food is allowed.
  • All non performing / crime committing civil servants will be sacked; instead of 'retired', 'transferred to desk job', or 'promoted' to cold storage.
  • All government buildings must reduce energy usage by 10% within the first 12 months and 15% by the next 18 months.
  • All GLC 'C' Level staff to be paid only RM 10000 per month. Not a cent more. Balance will be in bonus if the company makes more than 10% profit based on paid up capital.
  • All GLC 'C' level staff to be sacked if the comapny run losses in three years straight; or asset of the company is reduced for three consecutive financial years.
  • If an individual causes losses to the Government, (eg - paying RM 50000 for a RM 5000 binoculars), the Government reserves the right to sue the negligent individuals and suppliers to recover losses.
So tell me - what do you think?