A test of the heart & soul

The great emphasis nowadays is the mind. From young, mothers are bombarded with messages for DHA milk, make her child learn the fastest and be the smartest. Then, we reward 'bright' students. And in the big bad world, it is all about the money money money. To earn more, one will need a good mind or skills. The objective - to buy a new iPhone, or a new handbag, a car perhaps, gadgets and go clubbing. 

Occasionally, I would get this question "Does she love me?" or "Should I marry her?". I mean, how would I know. Most of the time, I do not know the other party. But for one to ask such a question, it usually means more than just cold feet. There could be some serious doubt.

Recently, H and I organized a visit to a orphanage in Klang. We contacted our friends and I could say almost everyone contributed. H was however very annoyed with one rich, towkey. This guy has been flirting with H for ages - well before I got to know H. It never went beyond flirting - and some very very dirty talk. Now that H has some equally sexy friends, this towkey (businessman) enjoys going out with H for clubbing. He usually pays for the bills. However, when H asked him to donate for the orphanage - his true colours showed. He promised, and then - kept quiet and did nothing. Even worse, started not showing up for their clubbing sessions. No one would understand why. Firstly, if he had donated lots of money, the girls would have adored him, and perhaps would go beyond flirting. After all, he was paying tonnes for drinks. Trust me, the bills can be up to RM 3000 per night just for drinks. H's feelings? Best described by the phrase "hell has no fury like a woman scorned." Note - H is furious at his lack of compassion, not the guy no longer buying her drinks. Trust me - she can get free drinks anytime from almost anyone (lesbians / bi included) if she so wanted to.

Either way, that guy would have come up tops - if he had donated RM 100. Firstly, our largest donor was RM 200 by a very generous gal. It surprised even me. This taukey could have done RM 1000 easily. If he did it for sex, surely a number of gals would have bought it. If he did it purely out of kindness, he would have just enjoyed helping others. But he didn't. Not only that, now the girls are naturally - not only avoiding him, but posted enough on Facebook to remind me to be generous in such future events - if I needed the reminder anyway. It is worth repeating - Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. I also learnt (and will remember) that in addition to just posting stuff on Facebook, this bunch of sexy gals actually call each other almost immediately and discuss about it. In great detail.

Now, back to the topic - how do we test someone's heart and soul? It is not that difficult. Here are some suggestions - and you get the general idea. Test apply to both guys and gals - although I use the gender specific pronoun.

1. Organize a trip to a orphanage or a old folks home. Ask your friends to join in or to donate. Now, you get to see what the person is. Will the gal with the latest Gucci and the complete LV collection donate the most? Will the guy with a Ferrari give the kids a ride? Post it on your FB wall...and see who actually replies. If you are a pretty girl or a rich guy - compare the response to a post like "Hey - tonight I wanna go clubbing at <>. Who wanna  join me?"
2. Does he stop for pedestrians? Or give way to others? Does she jump the queue while driving? It says a lot about a person. It shows how much they care for others.
3. How does he treat his subordinates? Does he appreciate their help? Or think his subordinates or team mates are a burden? What happens when someone in his team makes a mistake? Does she gossip? Apply the gossip test. Have one trusted person plant a rumor in her. See if it spreads.
4. How does she treat her siblings? Spends time with them? Are her siblings (usually younger) close to her or would they run away / keep away?
5. How much time does she spend with her parents? If you schedule a date with her, would she jump at it and 'dump' her parents? Or would she say, sorry - "I have to go out with my mother"? Or does she say "Aiyoo Ah Ma.... why need to go to the hospital again? You ask sister to take you la...".
6. Is he a Mr. Price-tag? Borrow his car (if he has a fancy one.). Call him 30 minutes later. Tell him you had an accident. Does he ask about you first, or his car first? If he is more worried about his car than you, and you do not appreciate that, consider dumping him and a way to keep the car.
   Note: Do not lie. Just say you met with an accident. Do not say what accident. It could be running over a gecko or a fly was killed when it hit the windscreen. You get the idea.
7. What happens if a waiter spills wine on her RM5000 LV bag? Does she become an ugly Miss Price-Tag yelling and shouting, reminding the poor waiting the he would never ever afford the bag? Then tell him how expensive the aged French wine is and he will never be able to enjoy it. Or will she forgive the poor waiter when he has apologized? The thing is this - the really rich ones and for the few who can afford the expensive stuff - they usually cannot be too bothered about all these. To them, it's just buy another.
8. Does she have more books or more shoes? Does he have more books or porn DVDs? What does one read? Romance? Humanities? Self help? How to sell more, make more money?
9. How does she react in a check-out queue when an old lady in front asks for the total amount for the tenth time before hearing it, then starts fumbling for the exact change? Does she roll her eyes with the please drop dead somewhere else expression? Or does she say - poor old lady. Or does she run out to the cosmetic aisle and get more 'anti-wrinkle' cream for herself with the better-not-end-up-like-her expression? 
10. What if the Ah Pek (old man) in front of him drives really slow and takes almost forever to get out of a junction? Would he start swearing? Or will he just take the opportunity and appreciate your sexy thighs? That would be how he would be treating you when you are old and slow.
11. When was the last time he took his father out for a meal? Or she took her mum out shopping? It does not count if it goes like "Ah Pa...eat faster la. I wanna date that hot gal / <> la... cannot tahan already."
12. Does he go out for lunch with anyone from the office, or only equals? Or does she try to go out for lunch only with the Mat Salleh boss? If there is an office function, does he mingle with his bosses only, or does he ensure that his staff are well fed and comfortable? I learnt that this means a lot to non-executive staff. Bad enough they already feel out of place, and their immediate superiors won't even talk to them.
13. When he shows up for the interview, how does he treat the reception? Ask a cleaner to mop the floor or vacuum the place, where she is sitting. What does her face say? How one treats subordinates is the true reflection of his/her heart & soul.
14. Don't just ask your sexy friend to hit on your bf to see how he reacts or will he cheat on you. Instead, ask one that's ordinary looking, or less sexy (in his terms), or someone completely not his taste and hit on him. How would he reject her? Kindly or a stab-in-the-heart type? I've heard it all from "If you lose 50 pounds, then I will consider" or "I am so pretty, sure I can date better guys. If you are driving a BMW...then, I might date you la".
15. Ask him "Dear...what if I am pregnant?" (for non hubby cases). See what happens. Best if you can set it up - as in SMS him to say you have something important to ask him, book a restaurant. Make it like a 'big event'. However, do note : Ask him what if you are pregnant. Don't lie and say you are pregnant - if you are not. If he finds out you are lying and he dumps you - I am not liable for it.

There is no right or wrong response. Consider this. If the sexytary wants to bed the boss for a quick promotion, and the boss is the real hamsap and flirty type - good. Match made in heaven.

If he is after her bedroom skills and she is after his money - good. They can go screw each other.

The problem starts with when he wants a wife and she wants a sugar daddy. Or he wants a fuck buddy and she wants a family. Be wise. It's a cruel world.