Insults

The year 2013 seems to be full of insults. We have seen individuals and couples arrested. Some forced to apologies. But on the subject of insults, here's something we should think about.

You know what I find insulting. Some Malaysian chicks with a foreigner boyfriend / husband. Hey. I mean come on - that's insulting. What's wrong with me? Ok - What's wrong with Malaysian guys. There are plenty of guys in Malaysia. Some guys can even marry four wives. So, there is no need to worry if those guys have one wife. Still three more to go. But no - you prefer some foreigners.

Sure - I am not the most handsome. But there are still plenty of guys. We have our rich Datuks too. Oh yeah - I know. Some girls say - once they go black.... but hey, we have our Malaysian Indians. And not forgetting, the ever increasing presence of Nigerians. Mind you, some Nigerians are good at getting rich fast too.

So please, stop insulting Malaysian guys. We should do something about these insults. Revoke citizenship? That could be a start.

On a unrelated note, I have been dating a really pretty ML. Slim, big boobs, fairly polite. Oh - of course, she is from China. Hahaha.

Back to the topic of insults, I do find the following insulting too:

1. Maggi goreng mamak - tak mau cili.
2. Mat Sallehs eating western food in the country, instead of squatting by the road side.
3. Foreigners bringing in their own food when they visit / stay. Hey, we have enough food to feed the whole country. If it is good enough for us, it's good enough for you.
4. Malaysians eating imported stuff. I mean - what's wrong with our beef? You ever tried beef from a cow raised in a condo? Give it a try la.

Anything else insulting? 

OMFG - big boobs

So, one reader left this comment:

No 2 is a fat aunty...... Omfg. U guys all old goldfish man? 

Hey idiot. Let's get real. We said she has a solid pair of boobs. And fat? What is fat? Some anorexic chick thinks she is fat too. And really, what are we to do? Carry a weighing scale there, and report - 28% body fat? Come on. Why don't you contribute to the gang and provide some meaningful report instead of a one liner?

And what has old man got to do with anyone's favorite flavour? Hey. If you want someone with a solid body, pretty face, good massage, you can do one of the following la:

1. Pay a really professional escort - those about USD 2000 per day
2. Sponsor your girlfriend or wife for plastic surgery (budget perhaps USD 100,000). Do note - I am do not support it. After the surgery, she might even find a better guy than you.
3. Start standing outside a college or a high school - we are not responsible if you end up arrested.
4. Realize that in this real world, the perfect girl or the perfect man does not exist.

The problem is, people spend too much time in front of the computer and start imagining all sorts of stuff. Hey, if your imagination is incorrect, don't blame others, OK?

Also - the real danger of paying for sex is, one forgets what a real relationship is all about. Same for girls. Some are only after material goods, good looks (guy or too busy looking good themselves) - forget about what a long term relationship is like. 

I do feel sorry for such an idiot, unable to differentiate fantasy from reality and appears to be detached from the real world.

Fucktards on Wheels

There we have it - two fucktards parking in the middle of the road. One is BKK8269, the other is TAN 9199. Seen in Jusco Bukit Tinggi. This goes to show - no la, you don't need to be rich or drive an expensive car to behave like a dick infected with leprosy. 

Anyone can be an idiot (Class 1). When this photo was taken, it's only 10am, with plenty of parking available. What more can I say?

Semarak Puchong Massage

I use to frequent this place a long time ago. About 6 years ago. More or less. It use to be 100% kosher massage. The ML back then, was good. Strong, forceful but not painful / a torture.

However, due to the jams and other more enticing places, I stopped visiting this place. And, I went there again about a month ago. It was a Sunday - bloody quiet. Obviously I had no particular ML in mind. Went it, and one ML gentle grab me by the arm, and asked me if I wanted a body massage (opposed to the foot massage, which they made less). The rates are still the same, RM 120 for two hours. I am OK with that.

In the cubicle, she gave me a good, strong massage and it wasn't a torture. Just the way I like it. She showed signs of naughtiness, and eventually gave me a happy ending. Without giving too much details, she behaved more like a hot girlfriend. But intercourse, only batin. She was truly surprised when I gave her RM 50 at the end of it all - I am guessing batin would be part of the package now. Alas - I forgot to ask her for name or number, so - I am clueless to who she is. I might recognize her if I see her. Let's just say I wasn't too focused on her face. She did indicate that if I could ever hang around till 3am - when she completes work, arrangements could be made....

Hoping to see the previous ML again, she I went back to the place last week. This time, it was a weekday night. Nope - didn't see her around the counter, but another ML 'grabbed' me. Fairly young, very sexy to me, a solid pair of assets and yeah - extremely flirty. She was wearing an ultra short hot pants and yeah - she made sure there were plenty of skin-to-skin contact.

At no time, she was naked, but allowed roaming. She would like flat, on top of me, whisper into my ears, grab and hands and my hands on her assets, biting me here and there. You get the idea. She also asked if I stayed nearby - again, she wanted extras. The down side is, her massage is an absolute torture. She is also more money-minded, asking for tips.

So, depending on my mood - I would make a different selection. Still waiting for the right time to ask them out after work....

Hamsap Massage (Batin) at Kemuning

So, there is this place facing the main road. It's one of the 'newer' shop lot Kemuning Utama. Being itchy, I decided to check the place out, at about 10pm. It was late. I walked up - and yes, it has CCTV around. It only means one thing - a hamsap massage.

Ting tong - a Malay lady answered. Wow wow. Not her looks but the price. RM 110 per hour including batin. And she had no interest in taking clients no requiring a batin. In all honestly, I just wanted a massage - no need anything hamsap or half hamsap.

Anyway, it was bloody expensive - for a handjob. So, I just left. If anyone has a better location to check out - let me know. Oh yeah - there is a new place at Public Bank Sri Muda. Anyone checked that out?

Joke for the day... no, it's not political jokes.

One bloody good reason to write properly.

On a more serious note - this is how easy it is to break in. 

Go out, get some action. Don't just read my blog.

My idea of endless possibilities.

Guys - we have to learn. 

Fit, and with a damn sexy smile.

And the old man rants on, a paradox, as usual

So, our beloved racist rants on again. This time, he says that tax / AP / excise duties is a must - or else, traffic will be unbearable.

Do you think it is true that, if cars are cheaper traffic jams will be worse? I get it, it is bad enough now. An absolute horror show at times - made worse by rain or a fucktard who decides to drive up the road divider when he is drunk.

So, back to the question again: Will roads be more congested if cars where cheaper? Think about it. Seriously. And now, I present my thoughts.

First of all, taxing cars to solve traffic congestion is like cutting of all dicks when male babies are born to stop rape. Think about it. How many percent of Malaysia is truly suffering from traffic jams? Why tax the kampung folks as well? Or tax the retirees who will never join rush hour? How about areas that doesn't even come with proper roads? Yes - this is how stupid we have led to be for so many years.

And really - how many additional cars will there be on the road if cars where cheaper? Will you buy 20 cars if cars where cheaper? No. You will just get one better car, and sell the older one. You don't see me carrying 20 cheap-RM80 - Nokia phones around, thank you very much.

Of course - the poor will buy one car. Every tom dick and harry will buy a car. Huh? Does anyone have any data to show jams are caused by cheap cars? No. Every tom dick and harry is getting a car because car loans are cheap; and too easily available. If only they have a will to cap the loan - like loan for only 50% of the total value. The next real problem is - please stop subsidizing on petrol.

The next few ways to solve traffic congestion is by public transport and proper tolls. Public transport - we are only getting started. But it's a good move. But will people take public transport by the masses? I suspect, not really. Security has to be improved. No one wants to end up dead by the roadside as a result of snatch theft. That's a true sore point. It must be addressed.

Tolls - needless to say why - we ended up with a truly inferior and obselete near-Infra Red technology. Yup - that's the idiotic Smart - Tag. It causes more jam than ever. One has to slow down just for others to rob us. Funny eh? Now, imagine if we used the faster, cheaper (USD 1) RFID tags. Toll could be collected when cars drive past at 90km per hour. New technology allows time-based toll collection - much like the Singaporean system. At peak hours - charge more toll. At mid night, make sure it is free. That would help solve traffic jams rights? But alas, we prefer to chop up every guy's dick.

We could have special permits for KL jam zone only; or peak hour use pass. The funds from such passes - use it to fund public transport. We could reduce tax for smaller cars (Kancils) and increase tax for those that take up more space. And superbikes - please reduce taxes on those too. Make it zero tax, for superbikes. They don't take up much space, neither do they burn petrol like a 4WD.

I hear you. We should tax luxury cars. Sure - you can tax cars worth more than RM 500,000 (factory price). But guess what? Right now, those rich enough can get away with a simple "you help me, I help you". How on earth did they smuggle luxury cars from an island called Langkawi?

But of course - if you leave it to the grand old man - all the problems can be solved by just keeping cars expensive. This is not even putting brains in parked mode. This is putting the entire nation on reverse gear.

Public Service Announcement

This is an extremely common sight. OK - this one is allegedly a driver involved in a hit and run. I have no clue what he allegedly hit.

The point is, do we have such 'security stickers' on our cars? Yes - please remove it.

You see, the problem with this kind of dumb-ass security is, we announce to the whole wide world (or more like an announcement to every maniac on the street) - where we live, eat, work and perhaps relax (golf clubs, etc).

What if, it was your pretty wife driving, and someone has a score to settle? Or if you are businessman, and your suppliers aren't happy with the payment terms? Or clients think they are screwed, but not in a good way? Or your teen daughter having a stalker?

For the hamsap guys - you sure you really want your mistress to know where your son studies? Or where you stay? Or when you go for a shady massage - you really want to open yourself to blackmail?

The list goes on. I really cannot understand - what kind of security does this system have. Who started this idea?

So, ladies and gentlemen, please protect ourselves. No point announcing to all maniacs where we stay. Malaysia is more than dangerous enough. If an organization insist that you need it, protest. You know what? Since this is Bolehland, where bribery isn't a concern, the best way to get around this - start being nice to the guards. Get them some curry puff, cold drinks, KFC... In no time, they will recognize you. And in no time, you will be able to move in and out freely without these idiotic stickers on the windscreen.

And some humor to start the week.

Guys - beware.

For whatever shit reasons, Malaysians must hang around when the authorities work on a suspicious device.
Are we really that dumb or what?

This is why duck face isn't always a good idea. Gals, please take note.

How many girls would do a selfie like this? It's harder than you think - coz if there is silicon, the scar is usually at the bottom.... So, chances are, this one is a natural.

Rape and pigs

I am a guy and yes, some guys are real pigs. My apologies to pigs if they feel insulted by referencing such guys to them.

Some guys keep commenting that they get raped because the girls dressed provocatively. I completely disagree and here's why - from a very hamsap point of view. Don't judge me first - but please, read on.

Firstly - if provocative clothes is all it takes to turn a guy on, there won't be any of these "Field Reports" on hamsap massages and the extra services. All we need would then be just, well, some short skirts, padded bras and of course, good make-up. Evidently, for the more experienced guys, this is far from sufficient. We wonder about skills (butterfly touch, BBBJ, CIM, riding stamina,...), attitude (CFM look, GFE, rushing or not, ...), looks (not to be confused with how they dress), hygiene, environment (is the place is dirty), and sometimes even more intimate details (tight, wet, fake moan or real moan, wild or not, swallow or not ... you get the idea).

What I am really trying to say is, for most of us guys (be it married, with girlfriend or with extras, or a combination there-of), it takes more then just provocative looks. So, what will provocative looks get? Just that - looks. It will grab a guy's attention (not his cock's attention) and he may take a second look. That's it. No more, no less.

And now, for my second argument as a hamsap guy. I love sex and I have sex often. I have some great sex partners. So, if you have had a damn good session, do you think you can just get hard after that? If I have a good session with H, or her young cousin, chances are, I will be satisfied for 48 to 72 hours. After that, I will be in my hamsap mode again.

After a good session, no amount of provocative clothes can wake up little brother. By good session, I mean her sperm count will be a lot higher than mine at the end of the session. Go figure if you still cannot understand that. If someone gets hard and gets driven to the point of raping a gal - that guy has to be truly deprived. My advice - please get a sex life, or sign-up to UNIFI and access Spankwire (using Google DNS, of course).

Clearly, the problem is - these rapist do not have the means to have a fulfilling sex life; or perhaps just being a tight-fisted wanker. On the same note, I seldom do one-night-stands or have impulsive sex. It's usually with some planning and scheduling. As they say - failing to plan is planning for failure.

And my last point, for this post at least - is this: Please learn what a damn good session is all about. Just raping her is a big turn-off for me (and many other hamsap guys). We want lots of passionate kissing, blowjobs, dining at her Y, making her really wet and yes - we do make her scream but that's screaming with pleasure, take our time, have seconds, and thirds, trying out all sorts of position. We want it to be a point she will look forward for a good session with us too. And yeah - we want her well lubricated, naturally (which is why its a negative point in FRs if she uses KY...). And of course, one of the best feeling is to hug each other, plus some french kissing, at the end of the session. The smile on her face would be, well - priceless. Better still, if she whispers "That was damn  nice", and licks your ear.

All in all, for the truly sexually deprive, please grow a pair and learn what a sexual relationship is all about. Don't stay frustrated. To the very least, learn how to take matters into your own hands. By that, I mean - have a good wank.

NOTE: If it was just provocative dressing with nothing else, guys general call it a "dead fish" scenario.

Puchong - Naughty massage

So, I decided to check out a place in Puchong. Took me long enough to locate it - went to the wrong part of town. The place does not have any signboards. It was a good thing I went there late at night - else, the traffic would have screwed me first. Next would be petrol prices.

Nett nett, it was not a bad place. It has a few young gals - all Vietnamese. The most 'serious' service would be bbbj, nothing more. (Being young gals, they aren't that skillful either). But what is fantastic is the nice, soft touch and their very tender skin. Aaaahhhhh. Oh - the massage would be terrible too - something that we would classify as "piano" massage (not a good thing).

The Effing Show

This one covers all the current affairs within 10 minutes.

For whatever reason, I cannot insert a proper Youtube link, so we will have to click on this good old style link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVinjZGOJU

B2B Hartamas - Featured on Giler Selamba Jane!

Guess what - a massage parlour was featured on youtube. This is, of course the old shop. There is a new shop. I have not been there. But here's an interesting take on what goes on.

Sunway Mentari - B2B not...

Here's one submitted by a keen reader. You know who you are. Thanks a million for sharing. For the record, I have not personally verified it.

In sunway mentari, the MP named O***** ... mostly the stock are pinoys, and very few PRC. Its nearby KK supermart. Wasn't really hard to locate though with the help of the shop huge signboard.

The stocks seems ok for me in term of looks. Most of it SYT. That time I went I took this girl named CC. Her GFE very good. Seems shes doesn't even want to stop DFK me since the beginning until end of session. Don't bother about the massages there. Totally not worth to rate since is a F*ck Shop. Haha.

I'll give u the link for their website -
http://www.as***.com/category.php?id=17

Here's my simple field report -
Age : 19 (OKT said)
Face : 8/10 (pretty cute act)
Body : 7/10 (nice and firm boobs)
B2B / Massage : 4/10 ( its a FJ place, can't expect much)
GFE & French : 10/10 (this girl will pamper u with hug and kisses until the end)
FJ : 9/10 TIGHT..and very energetic..but seems a bit lack of exp. Did cowgirl, Doggie and Missionary position & will keep calling u Baby while moaning. Hug and kiss for a lot before taking Lil Bro out after finish.

Damage : 160 + 50 tips ( I think its worth seems she treats me good)

Will I return...? Maybe if I wanna be pampered by SYT girls..but actually for me I'm a MILF lover. Hehe. I always hunt for places that provide good MILF service.

Anyway Bro Goldfish u doesnt have to approve this comment (if u want to la) for everyone for view since I clearly exposed the MP name.

Happy cheonging :) 

Oh yeah - if you are a MILF lover, you should try the place in Taipan :) Or maybe Y*** at SS15...

Beauty and Economics

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

Signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

More communication problem...

Some say - guys cannot communicate. They just grunt...and they usually grunt too early before the gal finishes, if you know what I mean.

Jokes aside, I think girls are just as bad. As a matter of fact, most Malaysians have a communication issue. Here are two of my latest encounter.

The first, trying to meet up with someone for completely non-sexy stuff. A friend. 

Me: Can I go to the shop at 4pm?

Her (slim and sexy): Huh? Why so late?

This is when I have to cool down. What the fuck kind of answer is that. If 4pm is late, how the eff am I to know what time is a good time for her? If I suggested 8am, it could have been: Why so early? What's next? Suggest 3.59pm? We could go on the whole day guessing. Why can't she just suggest a time, and make the conversation meaningful. This is a clear case of focusing on the problem, but not on the solution.

Case 2: Well, this is just dinner. She's pretty and is a senior MarCom manager. God - how did she get into communications? Or perhaps, that's how she skirts around issues. Oh yeah - great body and fantastic in bed.

It started with a call to her, the night before. No answer. SMS, no answer. Next day, I SMS her again at 10am. Finally, she responded at 11am "In shower". 

Her: In shower.

Me: Since last nite? Must be a lot of fun in the shower, although I prefer the bed.

Me: So, can we meet up for dinner?

Her: Do you like Indian food? How hot can you take?

What the... firstly, I just assume that means she is OK for dinner. I asked if she is OK for dinner, the reply is do I like Indian food? Eff. And how do you describe how hot can one take? Should I reply "Oh, I can enjoy food as long as it is below 500 Scoville". No shit - there is a Scoville scale to measure how hot (as in spicy) food is.

Instead, I replied: As hot as you are, I will be OK. Let's go to a place in Jalan <>. OK with you? I will pick you up at 8pm.

Her reply: Is it <> or <>? I can drive then and meet you there.

My reply: It's <>. It's on the way, so, I can pick you up. 8pm ok?

Her reply: You are my friend, not my driver.

What the fuck. This is now 4pm. And no, I still could not bloody get a time. Sure, gals are known to be late because they wanna look good. But, look at the answers and the questions. It's completely random. If the time is not OK, suggest another time. I am no dictator. Instead, she just went round the bush. 

I am not a great communicator. But hey, to the very least, learn how to answer the bloody question. Then, please learn how to focus on the solution instead of the problem. Sigh.

Just for laughs....

And on a lighter side

Best gift from a gf :)

Spot on!

It does happen from time to time.

What's your experience? From what I hear, guys and gals (in Malaysia) are doing it before they get their SPM certs.

I am guilty as charged.

To those "cam-whores".... stop taking pictures of yourself la.

Why we have so many idiots.

Conspiracy theory.

Stop being an idiot.

This is what life should be.

If you cannot 'connect' to this picture, you are way to young to read this blog!

Einstein in the making. Nothing is absolute (Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle)

Nice figure to illustrate her argument.

Not my idea of a french kiss.

Which are we?

Not bad :)

Is this true?