Hamsap Massage in Ipoh / Ipoh Garden

So, there I was - I observed a couple of shops in Ipoh Garden - all with the same kind of sign boards. A LED "Welcome" sign display, with the word "SEWA" (rent). And the word "PUSH" on the door. No signboards. Nothing. I have seen some guys entering. 

But that was it. No more, no less. Google didn't provide any clues. What were in these places? Hamsap massages? B2B? Or was it something fun. 

Alas - curiousity got the better of me. I did enter one of these shop. I was sure hoping for something fun and sexy. But my imaginative mind has failed me. It's a bunch of PCs. And a very smokey environment. What was it? I am not entirely sure, but I am sure it is not what I want. I made a hasty exit - and that was the end of my curiosity for these "SEWA" locations.

And according to the local KPC (busybody), there is a house along Jalan Johor in Ipoh, housing as many as 12 China dolls. Based on two of the dolls I happen to chance upon, the KPC's description is dead accurate. Very young. Very good looking. Tall, slim, slender. Nice assets. Very fair. I am unsure if they accept walk in business. According to the local gossip, the gals are the mistress type. In the evening, many guys in very expensive cars would come pick them up. One per car - so, it does not appear to be pimps.

For whatever reasons, their neighbour is not happy with such tenants. (I could understand why - some might be drunk late at nite, jealous wife might show up and start fighting, etc) The police could do nothing - they have student's visa. I offered my solution. Easy - just photograph the cars. Collect lots of it. Then, publish it la. When the clients do not show up, the supply will disappear. 

And lastly: Robin Spa is a popular place for girls. It's a fuck-shop. Unsure what selection they have now. But opposite Robin Spa, there are some massage parlours - including a Gold Finger. Quite a selection there, although not the best of the best. Some are young. Some are tall. Pretty too. 

But the place is a bit dated. It seems that in Ipoh, these fuck-shops operate at the same location for ages. It must have been since 1960 or 1970s. Good thing the girls are new. And that's about the only thing new in these shops. Not bad if you are curious or want a quickie. Nothing more.

Sex and dating sites

Time and again, I hear it from girls (usually): Oh - these dating sites - are a waste of time. I just get tonnes of guys who asks for sex.

Let it be clear. I do not condone such bad behaviour. Neither do I blame it on how one presents herself (I do not believe it...she got rape because she dressed like a slut. I am 100% against these type of argument).

And guys - what on earth makes you think sending an email "Hey - wanna have sex tonight" to a stranger, online will work? If it was that easy....

I know, some guys would say - maybe she is shy and horny. To these guys, here's a quick update on the real world:

1. Vibrators are available in all shapes are sizes.
2. Girls masturbate too. They don't need guys that badly.
3. Gals can learn from porn too.
4. Gals can get easily picked up from clubs / bars / social scene. If they were that horny - they won't be in front of their computer.
5. You have to be nice to a girl first before you get laid good. Even if she was working professionally, if you treat her like dirt, you won't get the best out of her.

Yes, I do have fuckbuddies from online friends. But trust me, it isn't just "Wanna fuck?" kind of email. Talk to her. Chat with her. Flirt with her. She will lay you, once she knows you are more than just a vibrator on legs. What more - don't ask this stupid question on a dating website. Try adultfriendfinder or something like that.

And now, for the girls. Again, as I have stated, I do not blame the girls on this. But please, try to understand that there are two sides to a coin. Take note of how you present yourself. Oh sure - if you dress sexily, it doesn't mean you want to lay any guy. I understand and agree with that. But... what is your impression given these two situation:

• A guy walks into a room with his pistol fully loaded and cocked? (no pun intended)
• Someone walks in with two huge bazookas aimed at your face, point blank?

So girls, isn't first impression important? 

Freedom of Religion in Malaysia

I will blog about my experience, and yes - I do find a lack of freedom. Firstly, I am not a Muslim. Some would think - that means, I am free. But that's not true. In forms, if I leave my religion blank, some clowns will happily help me mark "Buddhism". They just assume any and every Ah Lian, Ah Kow and Ah Beng would be a Buddhist. 

Here's my complain. Why can't I have the freedom not to have a religion. Or at least, put Taoism there. But no, they happily classify every Ah Beng as a Buddhist.

The thing is, I have respect for all religions. I really don't think I am a Buddhist at all. I sleep around. I drink a little. Buddhist cannot drink (Alcohol laaa) at all. Neither are Buddhist allowed to be attached to this material world. I am addicted to good sex; yells when my bloody laptop fails.  Curse at traffic. Flirt shamelessly. Eat after 12pm (yup - monks do not eat after noon). If internet is down, TM would be at the receiving end. Needs a handphone. Won't travel without a car.

And to be clear, neither would I make a good Taoist. (I cannot remember all the festivals for Goddess of Mercy, when the 1st and 15th day of the lunar calender. Heck, I don't even know which month it is in the lunar calender). I am not a Christian, nor a Hindu either. I am just human - with some sins and of course, I do some good deeds too.

And most Ah Bengs would even gamble, but yet classified as Buddhist. Buddhist cannot cause suffering - hence a vegetarian diet is called for. I love steak - rare, plaese. I have listened to a Buddhist monk's teaching: even for vegetables - please eat in moderation. The reason: It takes resources to plant vege. This means, if we consume a lot, more wild life would be displaced and that would cause suffering. Yup - suffering to animals are frowned upon by a true Buddhist.

So, please - let us have a freedom from religion. For now at least - maybe when I get older I would be a better Buddhist / Taoist. I personally think I give Buddhism a bad name. Then again, that should be between God and me, not for some official documents.

If you think Singapore is better....

Remember Alvin? The one with Vivian, and her blowjob / adult movies? Yup, that's the one.

Before I go further, I must state this. I have nothing against Singapore or NUS. But let facts be facts.

Fact:
NUS has terminated the sex blogger's scholarship.
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/sex-blogger-alvin-tans-scholarship-terminated-20121112

Fact:
There has been public uproar on the sex blogs. Vivian has been at the receiving end of it (no pun intended), and I do feel sorry for her parents. 
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/8/nation/12289711&sec=nation

A little known fact:

This guy, is a Nazi supported. And all the uproar is about sex videos? This is the part I cannot understand. Shouldn't the uni kick him out for being a nazi supporter? This is a war-loving racist group that has killed millions and bombed the heck out of Europe. In Germany, this fellow would be thrown in jail. 

So, here we are. All hoity-toity that with our Asian values - cannot talk about sex as it is taboo. But we forget the more crucial elements - racism and plain murder. Those seem to be well tolerated. 

I cannot believe that NUS has acted on publicity (by the press) pressure - and not truly investigate what was going on. And Malaysians? I don't think have the clowns here even understand "Neo Nazi". They probably think it is related to The Matrix.

PS: Why are Asians so crazy about sex? And keep acting that sex is so taboo and it's such a dirty thing?

Malaysians Top Workaholic

Apparently, Malaysians are one of the top workaholics of the world. (Or "forth most dedicated work force)

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/20/nation/12342446&sec=nation

I didn't know how to react. Shocked. Nearly fell off my chair. Angry. Dedicated my ass. Fact. This blog, has the highest hit on Mondays and Tuesdays. Lowest on Saturday and Sunday. Same with my facebook wall - least activities on weekends. Only a few sorry asses would be online for the weekend, updating Facebook statuses and blogging (yours sincerely included).

Dedicated? Dedicated to using office time, office infrastructure to surf the net for personal pleasures - that I believe. Half of the readers are planning (this is real good planning, by the way) where to get a hamsap massage after work. Oh come on, just admit it.

From my experience, here's what we are really dedicated to (in random order):

1. Nasi lemak breaks (aiyoo...I put on 3kg already, must start dieting - while stuffing themselves with nasi lemak / curry puffs)
2. Coffee breaks
3. Ciggie break (doesn't matter if you smoked or not.) ... "aiyoo - must eat organic food - else can get cancer."*
4. Gossipping
5. Facebook / Tweet
6. Run own online shop
7. Blogging (of course, the majority of these lazy buggers would just be reading a blog, but hey - that's reading too).
8. Surf porn
9. Plan for after work activities / plan for next weekend
10. Plan for next big shopping when pay check is out
11. Online shopping
12. MSN / ICQ / Google Chat / Skype / Whatsapp
13. Read online newspapers / gutteruncensored.com / fmylife.com
14. Show off new handbag / new bf / new hair-do / new car / new app / new phone. 
15. Check clock ("Aiyoo...still another 2 minutes to lunch.")
16. Take long lunches.
17. "Visit clients" (This is another fact - the bloody massage parlours, kosher and non-kosher included, are most busy at 4pm, workdays. Weekends, they are damn free).
18. Falling asleep on desk / toilet / car 
19. Quickie with sexytary / colleague; Playing footsie during meetings
20. Check-out new accounts clerk / gatal factory worker / handsome boss / young engineer
21. Tai chi work to others (usually this is the first item on their to do list)
22. Blame-storming; not to be confused with brainstorming
23. Gossip / Stir up shit
24. Gossip / Stir up shit
25. Gossip / stir up more shit

But not is all lost. This is a FACT: Employees are good actors, pretending to overwork badly. Another FACT: Employers pretend that they know their workers are dedicated, and do nothing about it. 

So, it's the year end now. To the very least, please refrain from asking "Why no bonus". If it was me, I would have fired your sorry ass a long time ago. And what pisses me off is, some young buggers would say "I want work - life balance". Read it again : Work - life balance. Work comes first, ok? Stupid buggers.

* This is a true story. I know of one smoker. Keep telling us to eat healthy, remove chlorine from water.... while happily smoking away.

Overworked, underpaid

OK OK. I hear you. Some of you would complain, but I am really overworked. I believe you. Just a few percentage of this country would fall into this category. Then, the question is, overworked because of yourself, or because of your boss?

My mum is terribly overworked too. Occasionally, she complains that the family does not help her out enough, blah blah blah. But if you look at it, my mum would go this way too:

1. I better buy the fish. If you buy it, you might buy something that is not fresh.
2. I will get the broom, and other utensils. The boss knows me - he will give me a discount.
3. I will cook, if you cook, we might not get dinner / burn dinner / etc.
4. I will hang the clothes out - you won't know how to put it on the hanger properly. 
5. Let me cook the soup - I will know how it should taste like.
6. Don't worry - I will mop the floor. You all will just simply mop and do a bad job.
7. Where did you buy these mangoes from? It's not from my usual shop. These ones are not sweet.

See the problem? She doesn't delegate work, doesn't trust others to do it, and doesn't allow others to mess it up and learn. It's the same problem in the workplace. Do you trust others? Let others mess it up?

But you will say "It is a very important meeting, I will prepare the presentation". Why not let others have a go? If you are that good, you can still fix what others have screwed up. (We could still go for pizza if dinner was really burnt). 

If one keeps saying all these, at the end of the day - no one will do anything.  Or no one will bother to help out. Other will reply "If you are so good, you do it on your own la". Hence, you end up working 28 hours a day, 7 days a week without annual leave or medical leave. 

Let's get real. If dinner was perfect, does this mean we won't have to die? If the presentation was 100% rite, does this mean you get a 100% pay raise? Or if the mangoes were sour, will the world end tomorrow? Oh come one. Life goes on. Get real. And what happens if you are not there one day? No one lives forever. So, isn't it better to train successors / children / staff while you are around to guide them?

Time to work smart. Give others a chance. Spend more time with hubby / wife / gf / bf / mistress / toy boy. If you are a husband / wife - make sure you satisfy each other in bed / bathroom / kitchen / couch. That is one task that should not be delegated to others. Sadly - I have seen too often intimacy being sub-contracted out.

My Ass

In Facebook, as well as in real-life, it goes pretty much like this:

1. My new phone, my new hair cut, my sexy ass, deep cleavage, my boobs, my body, my new car, my new sexy girlfriend, I am rich, my handsome looks, my pretty face, my nails, my Prada, my LV, my Gucci, my big dick, my gym, my shop, my huge flat-screen TV, my cute dog, my cat, .... I want a movie, I went for a party, I club, I am holidaying. 

It's is always "I", "I", "I', (or my my my) right up to the point things f*ck-up. When things go bad, it would be:

•  Lazy husband, slutty girlfriend, old car, iPad crash, Windows' fault, PC hang, road slippery, bf not caring, slave-driving boss, gold-finger colleagues, she-was-sleeping-with-the-boss, mother-in-law from hell, ingredients not fresh, oven not good enough, Celcom slow, UNIFI hopeless, phone no credit, stupid bank for not extending credit, high taxes, Jibby no good, corrupt government, house in bad area...

So, why is it when things go well, we take all the credit. When things go shit,  we blame everyone and everything but ourselves. How often do we get a Tweet or FB status "I screwed up".

But if it is something good, they cannot wait to show the world and take the credit. "See, I got a new sexy gf". Or "see, I got a LV for my birthday". Some jokers even photograph food before they eat. Come on - you think I have not seen it? Please la. Everyone wants to show off, stand out of the crowd. That's OK - but please show off with your ability (not show off someone else's cooking or Prada's design).

I really think it would be a better place if we start giving credit to others when things go well, and look at ourselves first when things go bad. For instant, we don't want a corrupt government. But honestly, how many would have NOT bribed a cop? (I have not, but I use some other tricks - showing them an empty wallet. I know H flirts and get away with it. Either way, that's wrong too - we should just shut-up and accept the summons.)

How many times have we come up with the excuse, "I need that new iPad. I can work faster". I know of some idiots with iPad, Samsung phone, and whatever else - but, never reply to his email. Nor does he read them. Most of the time, this bugger is clueless about his work. But yet, he told me "Uncle, you should get a iPad too. Can work faster". Yeah, the operative work is, 'can'. But he does not. I gave him an earful. 

Sadder still - how many would say "Yeah, I took my mother shopping", or "I stopped for pedestrians". I do. Some of my friends do. But the thing is, those who do - never shows off about it. (Those who show have the intention to get more donations). If I write on my FB to say I am collecting funds for a charity, only true friends would reply "How much do they need? RM 100 enough or not?"

Dating Online: Huh?

Here's what I read on one profile, recently:

i only like tall guys. need not to be rich. because i earn enough to feed myself.
but he must be able to put me on priority.

What the? If you do ever wonder why you do not get a date, here's a quick (and unwanted) review:

It's always "I I I". I like tall guys. I earn enough to feed myself. I must be priority. Where is the us? Where is the we? And it's so selfish - you earn enough to feed yourself only. Your parents? And your future husband?

We always have the perception that guys must take care of the family. But in reality, guys have problems too. Sometimes, we get fired. Business goes bad. Shit happens. So, the whole key about relationship is facing the up and downs (both inside and outside a bedroom) together. Problem with parents, kids, bank loan, house flooded, maid ran away...

You name it, it happens. There will be good and bad. But sure, it cannot be just good moments right. Last check, this place is called Earth. Not heaven, for sure. But some say, hell.

And what is with tall guys? Are all tall guys with bigger ****? Surprisingly, I do not read any profiles saying "guys good in bed". Rich guys, well do to guys. Another thing that bugs me "guys with a good future / bright future". According to our courts, we now have two guys "with bright futures" but happens to be rapist of underage girls.

Again, I stress this. It's not just the bf-gf kind of relationship in our life. There is also employer-employee relationship. I hate to have workers who is always thinking of "I.. I... I...". How would that relationship ever work out?

Even for the hamsap massages. Don't treat the masseur like a piece of meat. She's human too. Be genuinely nice to her, thank her. Don't just molest her. Arose her. Flirt with her a bit. Compliment her. Thank her. And that relationship would be a lot better (even thought if it is just a supplier-client relationship).

Dating Websites: How to get a date

Here's something I cannot truly understand. Why put photos of you in close contact with other guys?

On a dating website? At first sight, I doubt any guys would want to know your previous relationship(s). The future relationship matters (for the guy who is looking for a possible gf online).

 Looks intimate, with a hunk wrapping his arms around her.

 And yeah - another guy? This guy looks bald.

 Who's baby is that?

 If these were your best and happiest pictures - why did you leave him? Or was it he left you?

You really could not get another picture? Or at least get a friend to do some photoshop?

I find it really awkward looking at profiles (on match.com) with such pics. I do not even know you, and yet - you are telling so much. Not in a good way. Why not just focus on you and me?

Equally awkward are pictures with mothers. Sure, I can understand, you are a good daughter. But let's talk about the first date first. There is a time and place as far as mother-in-laws are concerned. 

Other bad photos are cropped out group photos. Those cut - and - paste kind of cropping. It doesn't matter if it is a group of girls or guys, but to the very least, put some effort in the photos. Doesn't have to be the studio type with lots of make up.

Of course, do not hide facts or lie. But surely, we all know there is a time and place (might I add, the RIGHT time and place) for everything. So, please get some better pics and put in on your profile. Else, forget the pictures.

Dating Site: What not to write

I have been visiting Match.com, with a profile and all. For fun, as I am not expecting to find a gf. H is good.

But what I read blows my mind. (I prefer the other kind of blow, if you know what I mean).

Take this for example:


Prefer toned skin guy, muscular or not , ... have a chatting great time. Prefer the guy could be gentle at girls but not nice to all girls
This is classical. So, what is she looking for? A bipolar guy? How can I guy be nice to her only and be a monster (ok ok... I am taking to the extreme) to other girls? Of course, there are guys who are nice to one gal only. That is true - so long as he is waiting to bed her. You get the idea. If he is a nice guy, he is a nice guy. Same with girls. If she is sexy, she is sexy to everyone - lesbians included. How can someone appear different to different people? That's a serious disorder.

Another gal, has user name "jojo-armani". Err. What is this suppose to mean? You are a material girl? That's good for some guys. They want to shower you with gifts to get what they want in return. But if you want a long term guy - I seriously doubt such a name will work.

Or was it a corporate sponsorship deal? Perhaps I should change my name to Uncle Milo and see if Nestle actually pays me to advertise. Heck, I should be closer to Uncle Playboy, or Uncle Sri Hartamas B2B.

im looking a man that can share fun,joy,love,life.....experience...

I am not sure what this girl is expecting, but it is going to be a disappointment for her. Yes, you share fun, joy, love, life, experience, toilet. Unfortunately, it comes with sorrow, sadness, anger, difficult times. 

This is life. It cannot be all good. There are ups and downs. If we have unrealistic expectations, of course it is going to be miserable later. So, let's get real. It won't be all a bed of roses.

I hear you - why put the bad stuff in your dating profile? But if you are after someone down to earth, someone sincere - well, you have to be sincere too. Just put everything on it.

Why am I on a dating site? I just need a good laugh sometime. What is on my profile - literally nothing.

The TRUE danger of AES

You get home. Your wife / husband screams at you. A flower pot crashes above your head. The rolling pin finds its mark. Or scarrier still. You can an unexpected cut that night when you are asleep.

And what on earth could have triggered that?

Two weeks ago, you were speeding down a highway, in your trendy BMW. There was an AES. It snapped. 

Fast forward back to a few hours ago before your spouse went berserk. A letter shows up from JPJ. Clearly marked JPJ. Your wife / husband opens it. And there it is, your summon for speeding. 

PLUS... a picture of you. In your BMW. Speeding. It shows you are the driver. And there was a sexy thing sitting next to you. Cleavage and all. Or her head on your lap.... It wasn't your wife. Not your sister either. And your wife saw the picture first.

Far fetched? I don't think so. It has happen in EU. Governments have been sued. It is an invasion of privacy. Sure - sending summons is one thing, but what on earth gives them the right to picture the car, plus the passengers? That's gross invasion of privacy.

Is your car registered in your husband's name? Does your wife get the mail first? Or is it a company car? (and you said you were on MC...when it shows tonnes of shopping bag next to you while you jumpped a red light - but of course, it was only amber).

The mind boggles. This is why AES must be implemented very carefully. Only the car registration and the driver can be photographed. 

You think this worries you... imagine you are a celebrity or some politician. And all these information gets to some private company with heaven-knows-who is handling the photos. It could turn out to be a blackmail case.

To AES or not to AES

One of the most hotly debated topic now, of course, is the AES. Some of my friends are arguing about it. Terrible.

Anyway, I am all for AES, subject to the following conditions:

1.  End of hiding-behind-the-bush operations. If AES works, just use AES. Forget hiding behind the bushes. And most importantly, get rid of the road blocks to issue tickets to speedsters. Road blocks due to robberies, other enforcement is fine. But please, stop duplicating the work. This means the rakyat will have to help AES, and still provide support to the "you help me, I help you" notion. 
2. AES must have smart speed limits. If they say "It's near a school. Must be 30kmph only". Good. Then, enforce the 30kmph only for school days, during school hours. Other than that, please revert speed limit to 90kmph.
3. Pot-holes causes tonnes of accidents too. Please patch up our roads first. The year now is 2012. We don't seem to be able to patch up holes - so, why screw us with AES?
4. The other half the time, traffic lights are faulty. Please fix those first. If the lights work well (proper timing, etc), then there will be less jams. Hence less frustrated drivers thus reducing the urge to beat the lights. Please fix those first.
5. AES should hit serious offenders hardest. But I suspect, it's the light offenders who will be hit badly. Here are some examples:
• I only speed. I get a ticket from AES.
• I have horrible tinted glass. I speed. AES cannot see my face. I pull a "Looks like me, sounds like me" defence. AES is not effective. Basically, I get away if I have more than one offence.
• I reduce the size of my number plates. AES photographs me, but cannot make out the number plate. I get away again with two offences.
• Number plate partially missing (typical of those snatch thieves). Again, AES is useless.
• I put a large sign there to say I am a VVIP. I get away. One is not to put any signs on car to say they are VVIP. Let us take a guess - you think that will happen?
• I have heavy tint, fancy lettering on plates, marked VVIP, false registration details on JPJ database - I think AES will never get me.
  
  So, how can AES work? AES is obviously targetting to the small time offenders. Those that have a string of offences - oh well.
6. If our electrorate roll is in a mess, can you imagine the JPJ database? JPJ must have a very easy way to check and update information.
7. JPJ must verify that information is correct and updated. Nowadays, it takes only a photocopy IC to transfer details of ownership. If I speed daily, I will just transfer my car to someone without his knowledge. Then, good luck. Oh, of course I won't lose my car. I can transfer it back to my name (using more photocopy ICs) when I want to sell it. Smart right? :P
8. AES must not cause accidents. Imagine - putting a bloody pole on the road junction. If the car looses control, it will hit the pole (and possibly traffic lights, etc). So, there must be sufficient crash barriers or very well position as not to cause more damage to accident victims.

Oh well, that's my current take on AES... but my next post will tell you the TRUE danger of AES.

Alvin: What a blunder...

I am saddened by Alvin's conduct. 

Background: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?sec=nation&file=/2012/10/19/nation/12196590

I am truly disappointed, Alvin. You are a law student. The the NUS (highly ranked university in Asia). But alas, you have failed yourself and Vivian - and of course, brought a bad name to your law school.

You see Alvin - for the life of me, I could not understand. Why didn't you bloody claim copyright to the videos?  There was no copyright info. Was it on your blog? You should put a water mark (C) 2012 Alvivian. 

Yes, that way - any bastard who publishes video grabs and photos from your blog could be sued by you and/or Vivian. That way, they will be the sorry ones. But no, who cares about it now? You could have even used DMCA against them. 

Instead, I saw Gutteruncensored publishing an email from Vivian - asking them to remove the videos. Certainly, Gutteruncensored could not be bothered. Not so, if it was copyright violation. Better yet, if you could mark the vidoes P&C. Then, do them in for privacy violation too. Hell, even Kimdotcom is harassed for copyright matters. Copyright is very powerful.

One has to know how to protect himself. For crying out loud, you are a law student. Use it to your advantage. Use it to your fullest extent. Don't let people take credit (and sell more newspapers) while exploiting your works.

(C) 2012 Uncle Hamsap Goldfish.

Manage not Lecture

Here's another of my ramblings on workplaces. One culture that's missing from the Malaysian workplace is peer review. Now, here it is again - peer review. We know what review means. How about peer? It means People who are equal in such respects as age, education or social class.

What that means is, before (as an example), an engineer submits his drawings to his manager for approval, he does a review with his engineering colleague. Not boss, not supervisor, but someone else at his level. That's called peer review. 

In Malaysia, and to a large extend Asian countries, Managers ended up being lecturers. They get report will full of errors, spelling mistakes, etc. I have been there. I have seen, other managers, throwing entire stack of reports out of their rooms. Not the best - but I can understand. Not one sentence without error. Manager gets mad, and the whole stack flies out of the door into the corridor. 

Other managers end up being lecturers or teachers. Correctly typo, correcting ideas, plans and what-not. So, how come managers end up being like pre-school teachers? When they do it to me repeatedly, I will ask them if I could dock their pay, and make them pay a school fees instead. Of course, sometimes, I would just want them on my knees and give them a good spanking. But I do keep such unprofessional thoughts to my mind. I however must admit I have had such thoughts. Moving on.

Executives themselves are to blame, some times. For example, some would say "You think you are my boss ah, correcting my mistakes?". Then, we also get the "Why should I make you smart? Then, you get the promotion and not me.". If you, as a Manager, notices that, please fire the whole lot. These are individual bastards - not team players or team members.

So, as Managers, please start a culture of peer review. Reward those who seek reviews. Reward those who give good reviews. Those who give proper and constructive reviews should be ear-marked for promotion. 

Yeah - some will say, "I am so smart, no need to review". Go coach him, or get rid of him too. As smart as Newton is, he was proven wrong by a guy called Einstein. Frankly, I expect one day, some smart Alex will prove Einstein wrong. Only then, we will have progress.

And the, there is always a bitchy (can be a guy or gal - guy bitches too). "Everyone is so busy / unfriendly. No one wants to review my work for me". If everyone is being unhelpful or unfriendly to this one guy - I suspect this gal or guy has issues. Unless of course, he or she is being bullied by the rest. In any case, Management needs to intervene fast.

Managers are here to approve, coach and guide - not have red-ink pens to correct work from subordinates. Executives must learn how to work with peers and get peer reviews before finalizing and submitting work to their Managers.

The saddest part is, I have seen so many Managers go "Oh. My subordinates are idiots. The work they submit is full of mistakes. I have to correct them till past mid night.". Learn to work smart, and spend more time with you wife / mistress at home la. Or get a good massage. There is more to live than correcting other people's mistakes over and over again.

Censorship In the Workplace

Could I say that most of us disagree to censorship? And we support free-speech? I would think so. I personally hate censorship. But alas, it happens very often in the workplace and some of us are guilty of promoting censorship in the workplace.

Last week, I got an instruction: Please don't talk to the executives. Instead, go through their managers. Otherwise, the executives will be confused. They won't know how to listen to. They will carry out work without authorization from their managers. This results in executives doing work that their managers have no knowledge of, or have a different priority for.

Now, think about it. It is sure logical. Come on, how many of us (if you are in management) do that? Vendors, consultants, staff from other departments, need to talk to you first instead of directly to your down-line?

I know, I know - it's logical. But please, re-read - very carefully, the text in italics. 

Now, what's the root cause of the problem? The root cause is any of the following:

• Executives fail to discuss work plan with manager (before taking action on feedback executive has received).
• Poor manager - executive relationship. If the relationship was good, surely the executives will discuss work with their manager effectively.
• Executives failed to analysis and think critically on feedback / discussion made in the meetings. Instead, some of them swallow hook, line and sinker; then making changes to their work plan without informing their manager.
• Executives fail to understand that they must report their work / minutes of meeting to their managers.

This illustrates what happens when I talk to the executives directly, in meetings.  None of it, is because I talked directly to the Executives. I did not tell them to rebel against their Managers. Neither did I dictate orders to them. Even if I did, they should have the brains to think about it. So, the Managers have mixed up cause and effect. The cause, is the four points which I have stated. Effect of course, is the paragraph in italics.

So, they say - yup - the most logical thing is, stop his Uncle from talking to the Executives. It's like banning arm pits shown on Malaysian TV - as some horny old goat might rape their grand-daughters after seeing the arm-pits or some cleavage. Absolute nut case. But, are we being nut-cases ourselves in the office? Do we issue such instructions to our subordinates (executives)?

Executives must be trained and groomed to be Senior Executives, and perhaps even Managers in days to come. One must not keep them in the dark, keep them isolated from opinions and feedback, and censor input to their professional minds. Executives must be able to think, review and discuss matters. If they were just a dumb bunch taking instructions from a supervisor, that would be a operator (factory workers) - supervisor relationship. Do we really want them that dumb? And then bitch about how hopeless staff is?

If you do find that the paragraph in italics is true, then coach your Executives properly. Not just hide them away from the real world. Send them to more meetings (without their Managers present), ask them to talk more to vendors, consultants, etc. Then, coach them on how to manage such feedback or instructions. Instill on them the importance to discuss things with the team (including the Manager) before unilaterally changing work plans and what not. That's how to solve the problem.

Of course, some say - my executive is too stupid for that. I better hide them. Well, who's the stupid one? The one who hired Mr. Idiot or Mr Idiot? And on top of that, if the Manager was that smart, surely he is smart enough to even teach and coach Mr. Idiot. And if Mr. Idiot is being a real Mr. Idiot despite the best training and coaching - for heaven sake, please fire him. What do you keep real idiots around for? Keeping him isolated doesn't make him smart - he is still an idiot. (Assuming he is a real idiot). Either way, censorship is not the solution.(just like the horny old goat - instead of raping grand daughters when they see cleavage, now they might just rape after seeing dogs copulate or a pussy cat licking itself. All the censorship has failed to get rid of the real problem. If anything, it makes it worse. Give them some hardcore porn, the only injury would be to their own wrist).

The real solution is to have more 'free speech', and not more censorship. I certainly hope this has helped. Do think about it, seriously.

Freedom of Speech

Well well. Mr. Atkinson on a very serious subject; and he speaks extremely well on the subject.

He absolutely right. We must be able to take insults; and give it back. Do listen - and yes, there are a number of lessons we can all learn.

Oh my...

 

What the. How could this be right? Kiss THIS, it shouts. For goodness sake, please change it to Kiss These, unless it is on your panties.

Sigh. I am not perfect. But grammar has really gone down the gutters. Absolute horror. Now, if one cannot say something correctly, just bite your tongue.

 

Sexual Detox: Make cum sweeter

I am quite sure I have written about this before, but no harm in writing this again.

I prefer to write based on sexperience, so, I am only writing what guys can do. I have no clue what gals can do for sexual detox. The chief complain is bad semen taste, and worse still - discourage the gals to go down on the guy. For guys, besides keeping our tools clean, and healthy, it is also important to keep the taste pleasant (as possible).

So, here it goes:

1. Stop smoking. I do not smoke. Ciggie smoke is full of toxin. Ever tried drinking out of a used ashtray? Enough said.
2. No alcohol for guys for about a week. Alcohol inhibits sex in men
3. More or some alcohol for girls. Alcohol increases sexual desire in females. But again, I do not encourage this. I believe sex is best when both are in full control but yet very consenting to all sorts of ideas.
4. Drinks lots of water. Keep hydrated. It increases cum volume - which makes it more pleasurable for the guy. And dilutes the cum - making it easier to swallow (no pun intended). (for 24 hours)
5. Pineapple juice, to make it sweet. (at least  3 days)
6. Cinnamon. This improves taste tremendously. Years ago, I use to get cinnamon tablets from US. Now, it is easily available in Malaysia. Take cinnamon tablets for at least 3 days, if not long term.
7. Avoid meat (red meat) and fish. Urgggh. Moving on....
8. This item is tough. For guys to enjoy it more, abstain from sex / cum for three days. If your gal likes it, keep it for her too. If the gal does not like it, well - don't take the "first load". The second shot for the day is usually less in volume, and less thick.
9. Citrus and cranberries are said to be good too... 
10. And yeah - for guys who want a big shot, take zinc tablets - once a day. But don't overdose ah. The natural option would be oyster, but that's seafood (See number 7).
11. Guys can also take some L-arginene and L-lysine supplements. Helps with volume. Again, please don't overdose.
12. Viagra? If you gal is good and the guy is healthy, forget it. Some say horny goat weed helps too. To me, horny gals are better.

Personally, I practise steps 2 to 8 (8 as in keep it for her). 2 is easy - I don't love to drink unless I am in Germany. Step 3 does not apply to guys.
Have fun!

Vivian: Blowjob Queen

Firstly - a great step to freedom of speech and good to see you are publishing your sexual escapades. It is time to show censors that they do not have a place in modern society.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/10/17/nation/12182362&sec=nation

http://www.gutteruncensored.com/

I have reviewed the video, titled "Alvin And Vivian Second Sex Video - Blowjob Queen". Let's be fair - I have no idea who gave the title to the video. Was it a third party, or was it Vivian. You see, Vivian, let's get to the hard facts. I have to break it to you - the performance is hardly (no pun intended) the standard of a blowjob queen. It was rather elementary. It's great to see CIM, but didn't see you swallowing. Here are some tips  to being a true blowjob queen.

1. Too much hand. Vivian, you were jerking him too much. It's like a rushed job (trying to get him to finish so that you are done with your task). A true BJ queen will have the "no hands" technique. Yup, only mouth till the happy ending. If you can do this in a go, use a timer. Try 2 mins, then 3 mins, then 5 mins.
2. I hear you ask... but what should my hands be doing? Well, if you are not into the kinky stuff, he won't have to cuff you. Tip #1 for hands. Butterfly touch. Touch him very very lightly with the tips of your finger on his tights, inner tights, tummy, chest and yes, even his nipples. See him squirm. Then, you might decide to cuff him if he doesn't behave.
3. Keep some long fingernails on one hand. About 1cm long. Very lightly scratch him from chess to balls, including inner tights. Repeat. Alternate with butterfly touch.
4. If he is up to it (pun intended), give him a prostate massage. Google it.
5. No passion. You have to suck on it as if your life depended on it. Be more GFE (girlfriend experience). Smile more. Look at him seductively when you blow him.
6. Lick slowly. Suck slowly. Take your time. Enjoy it. Don't rush.
7. Learn about other techniques, including:
1. Fire and Ice
2. Air Cond
3. Mouthwash / Listerine (it might sting for him)
4. Ice Cream dick & balls
5. Humming (the vibration feels great especially when it's deep throat)
8. Show off your deep throat skills. No, don't cheat on him. Use a banana, or a dildo. Go Google "ideepthroat". Now, she is the deep throat queen.
9. Try various positions 
• 68 (same as 69, but he doesn't give you oral pleasure)
• 69
• Standing 69
• Face fcuk (Lie down, with your head leaned over the edge of your bed. You get the idea)
• With him sitting. With him on all fours. You bending over. Be creative.
10. You missed his balls. Suck it, lick it. Suck one in. Suck both in.
11. Rimming. Enough said. 
12. Lick belly button, suck his nipples. Kiss him everywhere. 
13. Be the Queen - be in control. Bring him to the edge. Know when to slow down. Keep him on the edge. Give him his happy ending only when you want him to be happy.
14. Use your boobs / nipples. It's OK if you can't give him a boob fcuk. Rub your nibbles very lightly on his tights. Pole dance on his leg when you blow him. 
15. Don't be like a cheap porn movie. You don't have to show the money shot. Just suck hard and swallow. 
16. Be a real Queen - be in full control. He is young - he won't need a break. Show that you can keep him hard after his happy ending. Then, ride him; and whatever positions you want. After riding (but don't make him end first), repeat steps 2 to 15. If you can, repeat this again (3 happy endings?). I know, in fairly tales, it is only one happy ending per story. But this is the real world. We can have a few happy endings (or sometimes, not happy at all).
17. Now, you are a BJ Queen. Don't believe it can be done? Believe you me, Vivian. It can be done. Damn nice. And yes, you will have him on a leash by then. 
18. Tongue exercise. Consider them - but it doesn't involve Alvin. This would be essential for lesbians or rimming. I find tongue push ups really build up the muscle of my tongue. Take a retractable pen and hold it in your mouth with your teeth and lips so the pen end is pointing out. Then use your tongue to repeatedly "click" the pen. Do it as fast and for as long as you can. Take a break when necessary and repeat. Using the spring that controls the pen works well, and nobody will guess you're practicing for oral! or Get a shot glass (the kind you pour some whiskey in) and practice reaching the bottom.
19. Another exercise: Tie a cherry stem.
20. And yeah - start by undressing him only with your mouth. Better still, if he is wearing a belt.

Don't be discourage. It's a great movie from Malaysia / Singapore. However, do refrain from using the title Asian Blowjob Queen for the time being.

I hope my comments are not too hard for you to swallow. In the mean time, I wish you well, lots of fun with his crown jewels and you get to be your Asian Blowjob Queen one day.

Don't get too many ideas ok. It's just a lick.

Wow. She is fast too. Must be a damn good kisser.

How not to cheat

This is amusing:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/10/16/nation/12176841&sec=nation

Why would she enable her friend to have a friend finder function on her? And obviously, the hubby knew about it. So, hubby ask friend, to go searching for her. This brings "tangkap basah" to a whole new level. They took all the trouble to go to Johor for some fun - but she had friend finder enabled.

Or consider this fellow....

He checks into Woodhouse Sri Hartamas. We all know what that is for. Body to body massage. The hamsap kind. And yet, he checks in using this whatever software. And yeah - he has checked in 3 times in the last 60 days. Something must be attractive.

I can only wonder - whatever this software is, will it publish the check in time and date.... "Oh, Mr. Scumbag - that's what you mean by over time eh?"

I know this software is real popular. I absolutely hate it. I do not use it. I won't let it track me just like that. I sure hope this Kelvin Y (with photo some more) isn't married. Or perhaps his friends helped him check-in to prank him. "My bloody boss scold me today...wait la...now I help him check-in to Hospital Bahagia..."

All in all, I hate this kind of public info. Why on earth would be tell everyone we are in Starbucks? Will someone drop by to buy you drinks? I doubt it. In other words - nothing good can come out of it. If it doesn't do us any good, why do it - especially when it can seriously harm us.

Still hot.... Very hot.

Have fun. They are real hot.

Miss P: Yet another surprise

So, I have been bedding P for some time. About three months now. She likes it raw. Swallows. Everything hot, you name it, she loves it. Outwardly, she looks like same. Didn't change the way she dresses. Still just as polite, never aggressive. Friendly. Drops by my place twice a week. Never overnight. She has only one thing on her mind, and we are both very clear on that.

We just finished one passionate session, still hugging and kissing. She always wanted bf-gf sex: raw. Occasionally, she wanted happy endings with me inside her. She liked the warm-feel. That's fine with me - we have discussed the risk analysis and risk mitigation. She usually (no clue where she learns it from) sucks me off first (CIM); so that I can last longer when we xxx.

Anyway, back to her hugging me, kissing each other. That satisfied smile. The sweat from all the hard work.

Then she told me, "I want to get married".

I nearly died of a heart attack.

There I was. Naked. Both naked. Still very wet. Just finished inside her. And she wants to get married. What the...

Fortunately, she continued. "I have been dating this guy for years. We will be getting married soon."

I nearly died of a heart attack, again.

I did suspect she have had relationships, or had just broken off one. I mean, for such an attractive (both physically and inner self), surely there would have been guys. Or gals if she was a lesbian. (No, she is not).

I couldn't react. Firstly, I was tired about that session. Next, I am still trying to recover from my two near-heart attacks. Three, if you counted the vigorous workout before this conversation - more like a monologue from her.

For once in my life, I decided to shut-up. There are still plenty of questions. Why didn't she do it with her bf? Why not wait till her wedding? Why me? (Please don't tell me she read about me. I won't believe that for half a second). Does she want me to get her pregnant so that she can marry the boyfriend? But why me? And after all, the guy will already marry her. No need for some Iking plot. I am not the most attractive guy. Not rich. Not that nice. Not the best in bed. Never have been that close or friendly with her. We only communicated again after I saw her promotion on Linked. (Who says we needed Adult Friendfinder for fun?).

Just to be clear - she knows we don't have a bf-gf relationship, and she knows I have someone. She is planning for her wedding. And yes, it's with that guy, not me. They registered very recently. She published that on Facebook, with plenty of photographs. I refrained from commenting on that post due to the awkwardness of it all. I have not met that guy in person. She still drops by twice a week. Just as passionate, hot and horny as ever. Still rides hard. Still raw. Still very puzzling for me but it is in a good way.

By the way, the wedding is in December. Damn interesting to see if I get invited. The mind boggles.

Miss P: The Hottest in Bed

The best and gal I have had so far...

It has been years since I have met P. Never had any sexual relations with her, or any serious relationship for that matter. We were just acquaintance. Recently, she was promoted in her workplace, in a MNC no less. I teased her. To celebrate, I said, she could buy me lunch.

So, I had lunch with her. It wasn't anything special. She was nice to me. Anyway, we decided to go to Melaka together for a trip. Day trip, that is. That would be two weeks after our lunch 'date'.

Fast forward: On the way to Melaka. I was driving. Somewhere near Seremban, she removed her seat belt, leaned on me and starting hugging me. I was totally surprised. Not a hint that was coming. We weren't even flirting (oh come on.... just take my word for it). Kissing me lightly. Gosh. It was really erotic. I did get some strangest and priceless looks from other drivers. Now now. Don't get too imaginative. It was just hugging and some very light kisses.

A bit on P. She has a fantastic figure. Curves in the right places. Tall for a girl. Pretty. Fair. Polite. Well educated. Sexy. She dresses rather conservatively. Nothing short. No deep cleavage. That's why I am completely surprised. She's in her very early 30s.

To cut a long story short, we walked round Melaka, hand in hand like lovers. Sometimes, it was closer. My arms around her waist. Anyway, I sent her back to her place (it was a day trip) later that night. Nothing happened. Well, another way to look at it is, a lot has happened.

A few days later, she took up my invitation to visit me. Not long after, she was all over me, and yes, we ended up in bed. She started getting really hamsap on me. Kissing, hands all over me. French kiss, hips gyrating against my body. Yes, she was on top of me. At this stage, she has to be about the wildest gal I have ever met. Totally surprised me, but in a good way. I never expected her to so hot and wild.

Being a good gal, I have suspected it, but it was then confirmed. The real surprise is her hymen was still in tack. I explored carefully. I whispered "First time?" She only managed a "Mmmmm". Of course, I was very gentle with her (more like I had to slow her down). She enjoyed herself a lot and continued to be really hot. She loved it hard. Stained my bedsheets, but I ain't complaining.

So, here I am thinking...wow. So, the hottest gal has to be all these virgins with all the sexual energy pent up for years. I don't care how sexy a 18 year old dresses up, but nothing can beat this girl. As the saying goes - never judge a book by its cover.

Yes, she does drop by frequently. Tried almost anything and everything, no holes left a virgin. Judging from her bedroom skills and attitude, she could easily be the next porn star. I love it when she goes...."Dear, can I ______ you. I want to practice more". All I can say is, no need for Viagra or Cialis.

Massage in Kemuning

It's bloody not easy to find a good massage in Kemuning or Shah Alam. Tired. Dead tired. Had a quick bite. It was already 10pm. Yes, it had been a long day - out of bed before 6am and there isn't anything sexy to it.

So, after a quick bite - I noticed, a new massage place. Hint on location: It's in Kota Kemuning. It's near a Subway (The sandwich place, not the New York Metro system), a Vietnamese food, a bakery and a tyre shop.

I walked in. First thing: The price. It was bloody expensive. I cannot remember if it is RM 70 or RM 80 per hour. That's very expensive for a massage. Since there were couples (husband and wife) having their massage, it would mean that this place is for massage only.

Anyway, I decided to try it for an hour. The masseur, came in. Rather polite, and all - BUT - she has almost zero experience. Important note: this is a new place. It's easy to tell if she is new. After a few minutes of massage, she starts to pant. Compare to Xiao Hong - she could give a hard massage and she will still be chatting, with no sign of fatigue. (Xiao Hong did tell me... on good, or some say bad, days, she has to work for a total of 10 hours or more. With breaks of course, but still - it's kind of physical).

Back to this story. The masseur was getting tired. The massage was painful (what I call thumbs of death), using only her thumbs to apply sharp pressure. When I told her it hurts, she tries to massage more gentle, but alas, her strength setting is either hard, or hard. She doesn't know how to control it.

Not bad enough, some massuers outside are free, and starts talking loudly to each other. It's fine if the patrons talk - nothing much we could do about that. But for goodsake - please shut up or talk outside if you happen to be a staff. The cashier/OKT joined in the conversation. I had zero interest in it, and it's not what I wanted to hear at the end of my day. If I wanted to hear some talk, I would listen to my clients as they have to bloody pay me to listen.

If you think that's as bad as it gets - you are dead wrong. The cashier / OKT starts smoking. For proper massage places (and even some hanky panky ones), it's very likely a smoke free environment. Imagine - you lying there, someone torturing your back with her thumbs, two clowns yapping away and now, they try to smoke you out.

I mean, if it is a family place or proper massage place - why turn it into a third rate pub. Imagine - if the wife or husband goes for a massage, then goes home...

"Honey, where did you go?"
"Massage"
"Bullshit.... you smell like an ashtray. So tell me....who's the bitch? / Are you working as a freelance GRO?*"


*potong yang tidak berkenaan

In summary, it would have been cheaper and more pleasurable to get my dog to walk on me.
And no, there was no happy ending, no happy starting and not happy at all.

Online booking of Gals - on Facebook :)

Well, to all the hamsap fellows who has been looking for gals, and more gals, here's the page for you. Quick - grab it - before the page is removed.

Just look at all the sexy gals.

And even more on offer.

Isn't she cute?

And now: How to place your order. Errrr......

You see, if one uses his head to think (instead of his d***head to think), you would have realized - it's a scam. Why the heck would they ask for IC number, where you stay plus a picture of you? The only thing that matters is - money. Instead, there is no talk of pricing.

Just ask for personal details. I am sure one will get effed - not in a sexy way. It would be blackmail. And who the heck would dare comment on these pages using their real profile? Wife find out how? GF find out - how?

Take care - don't get scammed.

Sabo?

So, tell me. Which of this is true:

• Someone likes it kinky.
• Someone is afraid BN would actually lose the elections.

Why on earth would they handcuff and cute, petite young gal and parade it to the press? Hmmm. Who would gain the most, if Jibby lost? Or is this aimed at the Home Minister? Or someone else wants to be promoted to the post of IGP? The mind boggles.

And the police says it is SOP. Bullshit. Since when is it SOP to handcuff someone in front? It's bloody dangerous to do it this way. The SOP way is to handcuff a person with the hands at the back.

If they want something real kinky, please keep it inside the bedroom. Justices says it is more or less OK, as long as she consents although underage. The police goes to handcuff a sweet young thing. I guess different people have different ideas on what excites them. Handcuff - one could argue it is SOP. But please la - don't parade it to the press.  

To me - you know what's the most dangerous part of the gal? Her cute innocent looks. To prevent her from using her cute looks to melt someone's heart - they should have put a paper bag over her head instead of handcuffing her.

Some jokes...

Nowadays, I suppose kids are more educated that we are.

 
Anyone wants to offer me a "All you can eat". Not a bad idea. It's fun. Zero calories, and might actually lead to a good workout.

How not to eat a pussy. I am unsure if the poor pussy enjoys being licked this way either.

Creative. 

To my dear visitors

Dedicated to all my readers, whom are sitting in the office, refusing to start work; or awaiting to run-off at the end of the work day.

And this video (safe for workplace or public places)

Take care, and have a good day.

Cowboy nation?

Tell me if this is true. Malaysians are far from law abiding when it comes to traffic rules. Take me for example. I don't bother to drive at 110kmph. Chances are, it's closer to 125kmph.

Just two days ago, I was in a super crowded area in Sunway. There wasn't parking. I found an 'illegal' car park. I parked. I got out. As I was walking away, I noticed - other fellow "illegal parkers" have summons. My initial thought - just take their summons and put it on my windscreen. But alas, I did not do that - did not want the other poor bugger to be summoned twice. Hahaha. But please, don't let me put ideas in your head.

This brings me to the question. Why the heck isn't anyone obeying traffic rules? Why do we speed? Park everywhere and anywhere?

But the bigger question is this: WHY do we get ANGRY when we are caught? I mean, if I speed, I should bloody well accept the fine. Why is everyone against "saman ekor"?

I have given serious thought to this - and I came to one conclusion. Fear and Favour. The law must be enforced without fear nor favour. But alas, could it be done in Malaysia? We know the answer.

This is why we get very angry:

1. That guy can use tax money, buy condos for cows - and I want to drive fast, I kena saman.
2. That Dato's car has more tint than an illegal casino - no one says a word. My third brake light not working, the police is having a chat with me. 
3. How come he can rape a 12 year old? I mean, I am also rushing for my bright future meeting. So, what's wrong with driving on the emergency lane?
4. CSL's oral sex on tape, OK? How come you want to tell me I cannot "masuk"/enter just because it's no entry?
5. Jibby says, I help you, you help me. So, why you just summon me? Never give me a chance to help you?

This is exactly why we do not obey the law, we are pissed off when we are caught. I would love to see some brave officers decorated for upholding the law without fear nor favour. 

Happy Merdeka Day, Malaya

Time flies, it's now 55 years of Independence for Malaya. There are lots of could haves and should haves. But alas, we cannot change history.

We can only look forward to a better Malaysia. Personally, I am sad. Sad to see how history has been twisted. How we have been lied to, when we (perhaps not all of us) were students.

31 August 1957 is Independence day for Malaya. Malaysia was formed 6 years later. Wouldn't it be good if we stopped the lies, and face the truth like a matured nation? Oh well...

Unnatural acts

There are a good number of acts, deemed unnatural or against the act of nature, and is thus banned. So, I rant on. Perhaps we should ban the following too.

1. Calculators. That's not natural. Everyone should do arithmetic using their heads only...or fingers and toes.
2. Glasses. If god wanted you to be blind of have poor eye-sight - don't correct your eyesight. Be blind.
3. Cars and all modes of transportation. We should walk, and only walk.
4. Haircuts. It's not natural to have haircuts. We should all go for the cavemen look. (some are already achieving it). Imagine kids saying "Teacher, I cannot cut my hair. It's against the act of nature. I am not tying it up either, or washing it - unless it rains".
5. Medical science and medicine - unless it is traditional medicine. This will ensure nature does it part and only the fittest survive.
6. Condoms - that's not natural too.
7. All cosmetics. That could be the most deceiving invention of the human race. The most deceiving would be plastic surgery.
8. Electricity - that's completely unnatural. The only electricity allowed is lightning from the sky.
9. All processed food, including fast food. That's so unnatural.
10. Massive earth works - levelling hills, sea reclamation. dams (Bakun included...).

And the following then, should be allowed, since it is very natural:

1. Random sex. It's about the survival of the fittest. This includes getting the best genes - for ladies. For guys, it's about increasing the chances of the survival of your genes - by putting eggs in many baskets. (No pun intended). 
2. Theft. In nature, there is no such thing as "it belongs to me". There is no ownership. So, technically, I could 
3. Going naked. What more can I say? It's god's gift - so, let's flaunt it. OK, not all gifts are equal... but let's still flaunt it. (Ewwwww).
4. Sleeping on the job. When I am tired, I sleep. Taking coffee to stay awake is unnatural (unless you can prove coffee is native to your workplace area).
5. Rude behaviours - farting, coughing, and scratching where-ever and when-ever it itches.

However, it must be noted that the CSL oral sex case, when filmed, is OK. 

Rapes allowed?

It is very disheartening to read about rapes of minor, and the court seems to be 'OK' with it. To me, that's just sick. Hudud should be applied... to all rapist (regardless of religion). Potong jer. I support this idea. Throwing them in jail seems to be a waste of space and tax-payer's money.

How could a 12 year old consent to sex? She cannot even start a savings account (which is a good thing) without her parents. However, it's OK to consent to sex. 

What else is wrong? Juveniles have been banished for stealing motorbikes. How much is a motorbike? RM 2000? RM 3000? So, does this mean our courts value a female for way less than RM 3000? Consider this - if a juvvy steals a bike - he can be jailed, or detained at His Majesty's pleasure, or sent to reform school. We now have adults (both older than 18), raping underage girls - and almost get away with it. Try stealing an apple. Sure kena jail. So, in the eyes of the court, I guess our young gals are worth less than apples. Sigh.

More over, there seems to be a huge uproar when anal sex is concerned. Even  if it is between two consenting adults. Mind you, even oral sex is illegal between consenting adults. They say, it is NOT natural. I don't know. Maybe they got a manual on how to use their bodies. I guess the manual must state " Only put Dick into Vagina". Strangely, the manual seems to leave out the "Use Brains" section.

And speaking of unnatural - isn't kissing unnatural too? Mouths are for eating. Not kissing. Or did the manual leave that out too? More on that in my next post...

Back to subject matter - the rot started a long time ago. It started with the judiciary reporting to the executive. There goes the check and balance. Then, there was this "Correct Correct Correct" guy brokering the engagement of the chief justice, no less. Then, the CJ says.... keeping stolen land is legal (Adorna Properties Sdn Bhd v Boonsom Boonyanit 2000 ("Adorna Properties")). And now, even young girls are not safe. 

It is time we stop the rot. Please register to vote before we are all buggered. Imagine the argument. Since the majority voted to allow the rakyat to be buggered, please drop your pants and bend over....

How True

Motivation

We all need some motivation from time to time. Have fun.

A wish come true :)

The new Evidence Act is sure a wish come true.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/6/14/nation/11474506&sec=nation

Now, it is up to the owners of blogs, websites and internet account to prove that they did not do it. That is, if someone logs onto your WIFI, uses it to defame Najib, it is your burden to proof you didn't write those comments. In the legal world, the burden of proof usually lies with the prosecutor. How, given this is Bolehland, and how that guy performed during his questioning of Dr. Porntip, it is no wonder they have to tilt the legal system to their favour.

The government states that the new law (or rather new amendments) will protect the victims. This is when I start to laugh out loud. I suspect these 'clowns' have forgotten their school days - or they went to very very boring schools.

But all is not lost. This is really the wish come true. Now now...imagine this (WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME OR AT YOUR WORKPLACE). If you must try it, you just need to learn how to change / clone your MAC address. The only way they (the account holder, the WIFI owner) can get you is by logging your MAC address.

1. Boss didn't give me a pay raise. Now, I will use his internet account at work, and write a sordid affair of some VVIPS and his driver & maids. Just sit back, and see my boss suffer, questioned by the police and even get thrown in jail. How on earth could he prove he didn't do it, I could not tell. All I have to do is, wait for him to be in the office, and publish the sordid sex stories that would even make Datuk Trio blush.
2. That supplier refused to pay you on time, or squeezed you hard on prices. OK la. Just wait for the next meeting you have at his premises. Most of the time, we can get internet access. Then, just use his internet line to flame and roast some politicians.
3. Your co-worker is a bitch. And your boss didn't give you a pay rise. What do you do? Start a few email accounts, pretend to be the bitch using the new email accounts, and write the most malicious stories you could ever think off. This is a double victory. You get to screw the bitch and your boss at the same go.
4. You have a food stall. You need to kill your competitor. Easy. Just go to his place, pretend to be a customer, and use his free WIFI for customers. Sit back, and wait for the legal system to strangle him. 

As you can see, this new law is open for abuse. It's just abuse in another form. Instead of anonymous forums, they can use other's WIFI / LAN and do the damage. Out of the pan, into the fire. That's exactly what it is.

As I have always said...the more the government tries to "protect" us, the worse it becomes. Got to go know. Have to collect some payment from my clients. I sure hope they pay up in full.

"Prostitute" on Facebook

Here's one good reason why not to put too many pics on Facebook. It's a dangerous place...

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/6/22/nation/11526531&sec=nation

So, this poor gal complains that her photos and phone numbers are being published wantonly, resulting her in getting many job offers for sexual services.

The question is this. Surely we already know that pictures and phone numbers can easily be abused. So, what makes someone put tonnes of their sexy pictures, pictures of kids and other personal details is completely beyond my reasoning. 

What do they get out of it? Nothing. But they stand to suffer. I know there is a freedom of speech. You can bloody well put anything you like. But please don't cry when you have to sacrifice for freedom. Freedom, as free as it sounds, does not come for free.

So, unless there is an upside, I am sticking to being faceless. I have no idea what sort of sadistic morons are out there, awaiting for the chance to make someone else's life as miserable as their own.

Lesbian, Gays, Bi and Trans

Oh my goodness. The BN government has been right all along. LGBT culture is spreading fast. And now, I realise why. It's because of damn computers. People upload all sorts of things, till the point we change our sexual orientation.

What's more alarming, the Father of Computer Science, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing, Alan Turing, is a gay! Or could be a bisexual. So, computers were designed to turn the human race into LGBTs.

With this new information, the government should start banning all computers, software and other computer science related items.

This Hamsap blog however, will be exempted. Heck, I would even ask for a RM 250 million research loan. Which I am sure it will be approved. Why? With all the hamsap post, I am doing my part to keep men straight. OK? It's a war on LGBT, and I have done my part by reporting all the good stuff of being a straight guy. The hamsap B2B massages, the BJs, the very happy endings.

What more, with the loan, I will buy some cowherds for pretty gals to stay and work as GROs, massage ladies. Sorry - I wanted to get the condos, but apparently that's been reserved for cows.

So, what are you waiting for? It's time to do your part!

MAS: More bailouts?

This article is wrong at so many levels:

http://www.nst.com.my/latest/mas-now-focusing-on-aircraft-replacement-plan-1.96052

Firstly, the PM is commenting on MAS is focusing on aircraft replacement. The PM is not the majority shareholder of MAS, neither is he the Chairman of MAS. Unless he was appointed the spokemen for MAS last night, what business has he to comment on MAS? Has the PM nothing else better to do? And why MAS only? Will he be lobbying for Proton, Felda, KTM, Pos Malaysia and the whole host of GLCs?

Next: Why on earth is MAS focusing on aircraft replacement? I really think they should replace the entire board. It must be replaced by a board of directors who has the balls to stand up to the government and say - don't interfere. Plus, a board that will do it without relying on bailouts.

Why am I commenting? Because, with all the bailouts, the rakyat would own most of MAS, especially the pensioners.