Massage in Kemuning

It's bloody not easy to find a good massage in Kemuning or Shah Alam. Tired. Dead tired. Had a quick bite. It was already 10pm. Yes, it had been a long day - out of bed before 6am and there isn't anything sexy to it.

So, after a quick bite - I noticed, a new massage place. Hint on location: It's in Kota Kemuning. It's near a Subway (The sandwich place, not the New York Metro system), a Vietnamese food, a bakery and a tyre shop.

I walked in. First thing: The price. It was bloody expensive. I cannot remember if it is RM 70 or RM 80 per hour. That's very expensive for a massage. Since there were couples (husband and wife) having their massage, it would mean that this place is for massage only.

Anyway, I decided to try it for an hour. The masseur, came in. Rather polite, and all - BUT - she has almost zero experience. Important note: this is a new place. It's easy to tell if she is new. After a few minutes of massage, she starts to pant. Compare to Xiao Hong - she could give a hard massage and she will still be chatting, with no sign of fatigue. (Xiao Hong did tell me... on good, or some say bad, days, she has to work for a total of 10 hours or more. With breaks of course, but still - it's kind of physical).

Back to this story. The masseur was getting tired. The massage was painful (what I call thumbs of death), using only her thumbs to apply sharp pressure. When I told her it hurts, she tries to massage more gentle, but alas, her strength setting is either hard, or hard. She doesn't know how to control it.

Not bad enough, some massuers outside are free, and starts talking loudly to each other. It's fine if the patrons talk - nothing much we could do about that. But for goodsake - please shut up or talk outside if you happen to be a staff. The cashier/OKT joined in the conversation. I had zero interest in it, and it's not what I wanted to hear at the end of my day. If I wanted to hear some talk, I would listen to my clients as they have to bloody pay me to listen.

If you think that's as bad as it gets - you are dead wrong. The cashier / OKT starts smoking. For proper massage places (and even some hanky panky ones), it's very likely a smoke free environment. Imagine - you lying there, someone torturing your back with her thumbs, two clowns yapping away and now, they try to smoke you out.

I mean, if it is a family place or proper massage place - why turn it into a third rate pub. Imagine - if the wife or husband goes for a massage, then goes home...

"Honey, where did you go?"
"Massage"
"Bullshit.... you smell like an ashtray. So tell me....who's the bitch? / Are you working as a freelance GRO?*"


*potong yang tidak berkenaan

In summary, it would have been cheaper and more pleasurable to get my dog to walk on me.
And no, there was no happy ending, no happy starting and not happy at all.