How to Keep Pussies Away

This is not the usual subject of my post, as I would prefer to attract pussies for some hot sex. Recently, some pussies have irked me. The bloody cats is. Cats somehow has the illusion that my garden is their toilet.

So, if you cannot beat them, join them. This was my friend's idea and I have validated it. It works. Animals mark their territory. So, all I needed was a bigger animal to piss in my garden. In the absence of a tiger, I collected my own piss and ... oh well, you know the rest of the story. No, I didn't piss directly onto my own lawn. That would have killed the grass and I might be in police custody by now. Not very smart.

I collected some piss, diluted it with 10 parts of water and watered my lawn with it. It makes fantastic fertilizer and yes, it kept the pussies away. I 'piss' on a weekly basis, unless it rains - then I would have to piss more often. By the way, piss does not smell when it is fresh. Urea is odorless. However, if left to decay (due to consumption by bacteria), urea will breakdown to ammonia. Ammonia stinks. So, use your piss while it is fresh. If it smells even when fresh - go seek medical attention!

A less gross method would be to feed a cat - which also means keep a cat. It better be a strong cat to keep the rest out of the garden.