When you think someone is coming after your kids, start hiding them. This can be a divorce case, which usually leads to a custody battle. This is only useful when the lawyers are hopeless or someone plays dirty. The 'someone' could be a corrupt judge, overzealous religious officers, criminals or thugs. I would say, stick to the court orders - but that's kind of difficult. So, take these steps before a court order has been issued on the custody of the child. In short - if you want to hide your kids even if the court orders you to surrender them to the other party - do it at your own risk. This article is also useful to make kidnapping more difficult.
Rule 1: Don't bother to pay lawyers too much to fight your case. Some of them are just blood suckers that will clean you and your ex-partner up. You might get a million bucks from your ex husband, but the lawyer's bill will be 1.2 million. You get the picture.
Rule 2: Time to wise up. Cholp Chop. Get moving!
The rest is just what to do for Rule 2. As a start, please remove all pictures of your kids from the internet - be it facebook or whatever. The latest trend is to post pictures of kids online. Damn stupid move. My parents didn't even allow strangers to take our photos. Why? With a photo, it makes kidnapping a hell a lot easier. It is damn difficult to kidnap a specific target when you do not have a clue how the person looks like. So, please remove all the photos, including those taken by friend and relatives that are posted online.
Next, take the latest photos. Photograph your kids - front and side view. Note their height, weight and birth-marks. These are for the 'recovery' team, in case they are kidnapped. At least if you want the police to look for them, you can show the police their' latest photos.You can use a private dick...that's private detective. But you will need photos. Keep two copies. One with you. One with your friend.
Have a secret friend. Choose a good friend that you can TRUST and is RELIABLE. This friend will be your 'check fail' alert. Tell this friend what is happening. Give this friend your emergency contact numbers, next of kin, your photos, your "mark's"photo, details of your "mark", photos of your kids and other pertinent information. This friend will be your escrow. You can choose more than one check-fail friend. No one must know who this check-fail friend is. No one must suspect or easily guess who this person is. The reason is unveiled in the next paragraph.
How the check fail will work is - your friend must receive a call or an SMS from you periodically. It can be on a daily basis. If he or she does not hear from you, this person will take a list of pre-planned action - like going to the police, inform your next-of-kin. Or if the check-fail friend knows you have been harmed, immediately make public of the "mark"'s secrets. When someone else knows the mark's secret, the mark will think twice before doing something stupid to you. Do NOT store the real name of your check fail friend on your phone. Give your check fail friend a new phone. Your check fail friend cannot be revealed easily. So, have the phone registered in your name, but held by your friend. Put in a dummy name in the phone's address book.
Rule 1: Don't bother to pay lawyers too much to fight your case. Some of them are just blood suckers that will clean you and your ex-partner up. You might get a million bucks from your ex husband, but the lawyer's bill will be 1.2 million. You get the picture.
Rule 2: Time to wise up. Cholp Chop. Get moving!
The rest is just what to do for Rule 2. As a start, please remove all pictures of your kids from the internet - be it facebook or whatever. The latest trend is to post pictures of kids online. Damn stupid move. My parents didn't even allow strangers to take our photos. Why? With a photo, it makes kidnapping a hell a lot easier. It is damn difficult to kidnap a specific target when you do not have a clue how the person looks like. So, please remove all the photos, including those taken by friend and relatives that are posted online.
Next, take the latest photos. Photograph your kids - front and side view. Note their height, weight and birth-marks. These are for the 'recovery' team, in case they are kidnapped. At least if you want the police to look for them, you can show the police their' latest photos.You can use a private dick...that's private detective. But you will need photos. Keep two copies. One with you. One with your friend.
Have a secret friend. Choose a good friend that you can TRUST and is RELIABLE. This friend will be your 'check fail' alert. Tell this friend what is happening. Give this friend your emergency contact numbers, next of kin, your photos, your "mark's"photo, details of your "mark", photos of your kids and other pertinent information. This friend will be your escrow. You can choose more than one check-fail friend. No one must know who this check-fail friend is. No one must suspect or easily guess who this person is. The reason is unveiled in the next paragraph.
How the check fail will work is - your friend must receive a call or an SMS from you periodically. It can be on a daily basis. If he or she does not hear from you, this person will take a list of pre-planned action - like going to the police, inform your next-of-kin. Or if the check-fail friend knows you have been harmed, immediately make public of the "mark"'s secrets. When someone else knows the mark's secret, the mark will think twice before doing something stupid to you. Do NOT store the real name of your check fail friend on your phone. Give your check fail friend a new phone. Your check fail friend cannot be revealed easily. So, have the phone registered in your name, but held by your friend. Put in a dummy name in the phone's address book.
Who is the "mark"? The "mark" would be the bad guy. Don't ask me why I chose that term. Someone else must know the "mark" and all of the "mark's" dirtiest secrets.
Also, set up a duress system. If you use a phrase like " I want to screw tonite " or "HI, it's Janice here" - when you have informed your check-fail that if you use the name "Janice", it means you are in duress. You are forced to call your check fail. Again, have a prepared list of action. Like going to the police, or taking the kids away.
Now, go apply for passports for the kids. When you have the passports, the mark cannot apply for another set of passports easily. Immigration would give the mark a hard time. Even if the mark reports them missing, there is a long waiting period and even more restrictions. So, ensure that your kids have passports. You will need their birth certificates.
Assuming that the passports are done, you need to secure them. Put the passports in a secure location - perhaps a bank or with your mark. A bank is very secure. But if you need to take the kids out of the country fast, you might have to wait till the bank re-opens - especially on a weekend. So, the best is to keep it secured with your check-fail friend. It must be locked. Best is to have them in a fire resistant safe. The safe must be concealed - don't let anyone know you have a safe. Use a safe that is key operated. Forget the combination lock. It will be shit to open when you panic.
Now, keep a copy of your kids' photos and important information with the passports / check-fail friend. By now, you should know why this is required.
Also, make sure that your kids' birth certificates are kept in a bank. You won't need them urgently. Birth certificates are the kids' ID. If you have them, you have better 'possession' of your kids. Lock it up in a bank's safe custody box. Why? If the mark catches you, the mark cannot put you at gun-point or knife-point to handover the documents. That's difficult. You need to walk into the bank. Make sure your check-fail friend knows which bank and best if your friend can have access to the box. Banks allow two signatories. A good bank would be OUB in PJ. Use a bank that you do NOT normally go to. The mark must not suspect where the bank it. It makes it more difficult for him. Else, he can bloody bribe the bank manager and you are screwed.
And please don't give me the bullshit that the bank is far away, and you prefer something in your neighborhood. Remember. The mark is your husband or wife / ex. The mark has been very intimate with you. Fucked you, got two kids with you. The mark knows you. You have to now change the way you behave and your habits. Remember this at all times.
Change all the locks in your house. Change your car keys. Install an alarm system. If you already have one, change the PIN numbers of your alarm system. Change the autogate's PIN / code-decode number. Changing locks are expensive, and the rest is pretty much free. Use better locks, such as Yale. Please don't use Sonnex or some unknown locks. Locks by ASSA ABLOY are pretty good. Yale is one of them. Use those. Ensure that your check-fail friend has access to your house - in the event of an emergency. If you can, chance your car. Have another mobile number. Use the new mobile number. However, do NOT terminate the old number - else the mark will be suspicious. Keep your mark comfy. And please do not rely on your dog to keep you safe - especially when your dog knows your mark well. Keep a new dog if you have to.
Set up a new bank account - one that is in you name only at a bank you do not normally use. If the court orders your accounts to be frozen, at least you have something stashed away. Get one or two new credit cards. Better still, have an overseas bank account. It is damn easy to start an account in Singapore. Stash some money there. Have an account with a Visa or Master Debit Card. You will be able to access your funds worldwide. Set up the account with internet access. Also, ask the bank to provide you with the SWIFT Code. You need the code to transfer money / wire money into the account. It would take time before a Malaysian Court order is enforced in Singapore. By the way, if you are really planning to leave Malaysia for good, you can max out your Malaysian credit cards when you are away and forget about them. But that's only if you want to be away for long term.
The kids. Make sure you brief them that they are only to see you. If I were you, move them to a new school immediately. Do NOT let they stay with your parents. It is fucking convenient and free to have your parents as baby sitters, but your mark knows how to get to them. So, screw that idea. Move them to another district - if you are in PJ, consider Cheras. Better if it is a place your mark is not familiar with. If your mark has gang connections, the gangs won't be able to work well out of their territory. That's why is so damn important to chose somewhere your mark is not familiar with.
Babysitters or a proper tadika is a good choice to keep your kids. Why? They issue receipts. Receipts are useful in courts. When the courts hear your case 3 years later, you can bloody prove that you have been taking care of your kids. Your mark didn't contribute anything. You cannot prove that easily if your parents were babysitting them - or worse still, when your parents are no longer around to give evidence. That's a bad situation to be in. Sure, it can cost more, but there are always cheaper play-schools or babysitters out there. Keep the receipts.
Australia and Thailand are a good choice for running away. Why? Malaysian Court orders are not recognized in those countries. I may be wrong, but I think there is no extradition treaty with Thailand and Australia. So, be prepared to go to those countries. Singapore is a good transit point. You don't need a visa to get there. It is a safe country. Hide somewhere.
The worst case scenario would be to skip the country. Be prepared to do this. I am no expert here, but you can start thinking. Pack up your documents and be prepared to be on-the-go. Or at least store them somewhere - in a bank - and your friend can collect and send them to you. Identify highways and escape routes. Know who to call in case of emergency. Do note - you only have to skip the country until your kids are 18 (or 21). By then, they are adults and they are free!
Some tips on how to slow down your mark, in case of emergency. For example - when you know your mark is about to make a serious move - do some nasty stuff on him or her. If you have a joint bank account, empty it. Report cheques have been misplaced. Cancel his credit cards - or help him report them stolen. This is only possible if you know the card details. Cancel his phone line, or report SIM card has been stolen. Stuff like this. Make it difficult, but try not to break any laws.
Always remember to love your kids. They are victims too. Don't take it out on them. If you cannot manage, call some NGO, or write to me. I am unsure if I can help, but I would listen.
Custody battles are always ugly - usually made worse by overzealous "religious" officers. On top of that, justice is cheap in Malaysia. That's sad and that's why I am posting this entry.
Assuming that the passports are done, you need to secure them. Put the passports in a secure location - perhaps a bank or with your mark. A bank is very secure. But if you need to take the kids out of the country fast, you might have to wait till the bank re-opens - especially on a weekend. So, the best is to keep it secured with your check-fail friend. It must be locked. Best is to have them in a fire resistant safe. The safe must be concealed - don't let anyone know you have a safe. Use a safe that is key operated. Forget the combination lock. It will be shit to open when you panic.
Now, keep a copy of your kids' photos and important information with the passports / check-fail friend. By now, you should know why this is required.
Also, make sure that your kids' birth certificates are kept in a bank. You won't need them urgently. Birth certificates are the kids' ID. If you have them, you have better 'possession' of your kids. Lock it up in a bank's safe custody box. Why? If the mark catches you, the mark cannot put you at gun-point or knife-point to handover the documents. That's difficult. You need to walk into the bank. Make sure your check-fail friend knows which bank and best if your friend can have access to the box. Banks allow two signatories. A good bank would be OUB in PJ. Use a bank that you do NOT normally go to. The mark must not suspect where the bank it. It makes it more difficult for him. Else, he can bloody bribe the bank manager and you are screwed.
And please don't give me the bullshit that the bank is far away, and you prefer something in your neighborhood. Remember. The mark is your husband or wife / ex. The mark has been very intimate with you. Fucked you, got two kids with you. The mark knows you. You have to now change the way you behave and your habits. Remember this at all times.
Change all the locks in your house. Change your car keys. Install an alarm system. If you already have one, change the PIN numbers of your alarm system. Change the autogate's PIN / code-decode number. Changing locks are expensive, and the rest is pretty much free. Use better locks, such as Yale. Please don't use Sonnex or some unknown locks. Locks by ASSA ABLOY are pretty good. Yale is one of them. Use those. Ensure that your check-fail friend has access to your house - in the event of an emergency. If you can, chance your car. Have another mobile number. Use the new mobile number. However, do NOT terminate the old number - else the mark will be suspicious. Keep your mark comfy. And please do not rely on your dog to keep you safe - especially when your dog knows your mark well. Keep a new dog if you have to.
Set up a new bank account - one that is in you name only at a bank you do not normally use. If the court orders your accounts to be frozen, at least you have something stashed away. Get one or two new credit cards. Better still, have an overseas bank account. It is damn easy to start an account in Singapore. Stash some money there. Have an account with a Visa or Master Debit Card. You will be able to access your funds worldwide. Set up the account with internet access. Also, ask the bank to provide you with the SWIFT Code. You need the code to transfer money / wire money into the account. It would take time before a Malaysian Court order is enforced in Singapore. By the way, if you are really planning to leave Malaysia for good, you can max out your Malaysian credit cards when you are away and forget about them. But that's only if you want to be away for long term.
The kids. Make sure you brief them that they are only to see you. If I were you, move them to a new school immediately. Do NOT let they stay with your parents. It is fucking convenient and free to have your parents as baby sitters, but your mark knows how to get to them. So, screw that idea. Move them to another district - if you are in PJ, consider Cheras. Better if it is a place your mark is not familiar with. If your mark has gang connections, the gangs won't be able to work well out of their territory. That's why is so damn important to chose somewhere your mark is not familiar with.
Babysitters or a proper tadika is a good choice to keep your kids. Why? They issue receipts. Receipts are useful in courts. When the courts hear your case 3 years later, you can bloody prove that you have been taking care of your kids. Your mark didn't contribute anything. You cannot prove that easily if your parents were babysitting them - or worse still, when your parents are no longer around to give evidence. That's a bad situation to be in. Sure, it can cost more, but there are always cheaper play-schools or babysitters out there. Keep the receipts.
Australia and Thailand are a good choice for running away. Why? Malaysian Court orders are not recognized in those countries. I may be wrong, but I think there is no extradition treaty with Thailand and Australia. So, be prepared to go to those countries. Singapore is a good transit point. You don't need a visa to get there. It is a safe country. Hide somewhere.
The worst case scenario would be to skip the country. Be prepared to do this. I am no expert here, but you can start thinking. Pack up your documents and be prepared to be on-the-go. Or at least store them somewhere - in a bank - and your friend can collect and send them to you. Identify highways and escape routes. Know who to call in case of emergency. Do note - you only have to skip the country until your kids are 18 (or 21). By then, they are adults and they are free!
Some tips on how to slow down your mark, in case of emergency. For example - when you know your mark is about to make a serious move - do some nasty stuff on him or her. If you have a joint bank account, empty it. Report cheques have been misplaced. Cancel his credit cards - or help him report them stolen. This is only possible if you know the card details. Cancel his phone line, or report SIM card has been stolen. Stuff like this. Make it difficult, but try not to break any laws.
Always remember to love your kids. They are victims too. Don't take it out on them. If you cannot manage, call some NGO, or write to me. I am unsure if I can help, but I would listen.
Custody battles are always ugly - usually made worse by overzealous "religious" officers. On top of that, justice is cheap in Malaysia. That's sad and that's why I am posting this entry.
No comments:
Post a Comment