9AM - What the eff?

9 am, on a work day. My phone rings. My phone says it is a "Private Number".

Me: Hello.

Caller: Hello ... hello.

Me: Yes?

Caller: Hi Hi. Can you hear me? I am xxx. 

Me: Yes?

Caller: I got your number from Ms. A. Errr.... you interested to play couple?

Me: But I am a single guy.

Caller: My wife and I want a single guy to join us. I heard you are good. Can I know more about you? 

            What's your weight and height?

Me: I am sorry - but can we talk about this later? 

Caller: But later we will be going back to ......

Me: Another time, then...

Caller: OK. We will call you when we are next in KL.

Here I am thinking. What the eff. It's bloody 9am on a Wednesday. A work day. Asking me if I am interested to fuck his wife? I checked again. Nope - Malaysia did not win the Thomas Cup 2012 - so, no last minute public holidays. VVIPs : None passed on overnight.

So, what was this guy thinking? I mean, sure - of course I enjoy sex. A lot. But hey, I do have to work. On top of that, I know my priorities. I have meetings, appointments and what not. Surely I cannot just drop everything (my pants included) to do your wife. More over, I have no clue who your wife is or is worth the trouble. I do enjoy my bedroom activities, but as they say - never mix business with pleasure. If you must mix business with pleasure, make sure it is in that order.

What the eff. Why was he asking about my height and weight. I mean, shit - I never worry about a gal's height and weight. More pertinent questions would have been:

• What's the size of your dick (for guys) / boobs (for gals)?
• You like oral?
• Any disease?
• Condoms OK?
• How long can you perform?

Height and weight? For a moment, I bloody thought if he was my insurance agent sneaking up on me to see if I am healthy or am I engaging in random sex. The only time they ask about height and weight would be for a medical examination, and I don't mean the kinky kind.

And I have to warn Miss A not to give out my number to idiots.