And some humor to start the week.

Guys - beware.

For whatever shit reasons, Malaysians must hang around when the authorities work on a suspicious device.
Are we really that dumb or what?

This is why duck face isn't always a good idea. Gals, please take note.

How many girls would do a selfie like this? It's harder than you think - coz if there is silicon, the scar is usually at the bottom.... So, chances are, this one is a natural.

Rape and pigs

I am a guy and yes, some guys are real pigs. My apologies to pigs if they feel insulted by referencing such guys to them.

Some guys keep commenting that they get raped because the girls dressed provocatively. I completely disagree and here's why - from a very hamsap point of view. Don't judge me first - but please, read on.

Firstly - if provocative clothes is all it takes to turn a guy on, there won't be any of these "Field Reports" on hamsap massages and the extra services. All we need would then be just, well, some short skirts, padded bras and of course, good make-up. Evidently, for the more experienced guys, this is far from sufficient. We wonder about skills (butterfly touch, BBBJ, CIM, riding stamina,...), attitude (CFM look, GFE, rushing or not, ...), looks (not to be confused with how they dress), hygiene, environment (is the place is dirty), and sometimes even more intimate details (tight, wet, fake moan or real moan, wild or not, swallow or not ... you get the idea).

What I am really trying to say is, for most of us guys (be it married, with girlfriend or with extras, or a combination there-of), it takes more then just provocative looks. So, what will provocative looks get? Just that - looks. It will grab a guy's attention (not his cock's attention) and he may take a second look. That's it. No more, no less.

And now, for my second argument as a hamsap guy. I love sex and I have sex often. I have some great sex partners. So, if you have had a damn good session, do you think you can just get hard after that? If I have a good session with H, or her young cousin, chances are, I will be satisfied for 48 to 72 hours. After that, I will be in my hamsap mode again.

After a good session, no amount of provocative clothes can wake up little brother. By good session, I mean her sperm count will be a lot higher than mine at the end of the session. Go figure if you still cannot understand that. If someone gets hard and gets driven to the point of raping a gal - that guy has to be truly deprived. My advice - please get a sex life, or sign-up to UNIFI and access Spankwire (using Google DNS, of course).

Clearly, the problem is - these rapist do not have the means to have a fulfilling sex life; or perhaps just being a tight-fisted wanker. On the same note, I seldom do one-night-stands or have impulsive sex. It's usually with some planning and scheduling. As they say - failing to plan is planning for failure.

And my last point, for this post at least - is this: Please learn what a damn good session is all about. Just raping her is a big turn-off for me (and many other hamsap guys). We want lots of passionate kissing, blowjobs, dining at her Y, making her really wet and yes - we do make her scream but that's screaming with pleasure, take our time, have seconds, and thirds, trying out all sorts of position. We want it to be a point she will look forward for a good session with us too. And yeah - we want her well lubricated, naturally (which is why its a negative point in FRs if she uses KY...). And of course, one of the best feeling is to hug each other, plus some french kissing, at the end of the session. The smile on her face would be, well - priceless. Better still, if she whispers "That was damn  nice", and licks your ear.

All in all, for the truly sexually deprive, please grow a pair and learn what a sexual relationship is all about. Don't stay frustrated. To the very least, learn how to take matters into your own hands. By that, I mean - have a good wank.

NOTE: If it was just provocative dressing with nothing else, guys general call it a "dead fish" scenario.

Puchong - Naughty massage

So, I decided to check out a place in Puchong. Took me long enough to locate it - went to the wrong part of town. The place does not have any signboards. It was a good thing I went there late at night - else, the traffic would have screwed me first. Next would be petrol prices.

Nett nett, it was not a bad place. It has a few young gals - all Vietnamese. The most 'serious' service would be bbbj, nothing more. (Being young gals, they aren't that skillful either). But what is fantastic is the nice, soft touch and their very tender skin. Aaaahhhhh. Oh - the massage would be terrible too - something that we would classify as "piano" massage (not a good thing).

The Effing Show

This one covers all the current affairs within 10 minutes.

For whatever reason, I cannot insert a proper Youtube link, so we will have to click on this good old style link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVinjZGOJU

B2B Hartamas - Featured on Giler Selamba Jane!

Guess what - a massage parlour was featured on youtube. This is, of course the old shop. There is a new shop. I have not been there. But here's an interesting take on what goes on.

Sunway Mentari - B2B not...

Here's one submitted by a keen reader. You know who you are. Thanks a million for sharing. For the record, I have not personally verified it.

In sunway mentari, the MP named O***** ... mostly the stock are pinoys, and very few PRC. Its nearby KK supermart. Wasn't really hard to locate though with the help of the shop huge signboard.

The stocks seems ok for me in term of looks. Most of it SYT. That time I went I took this girl named CC. Her GFE very good. Seems shes doesn't even want to stop DFK me since the beginning until end of session. Don't bother about the massages there. Totally not worth to rate since is a F*ck Shop. Haha.

I'll give u the link for their website -
http://www.as***.com/category.php?id=17

Here's my simple field report -
Age : 19 (OKT said)
Face : 8/10 (pretty cute act)
Body : 7/10 (nice and firm boobs)
B2B / Massage : 4/10 ( its a FJ place, can't expect much)
GFE & French : 10/10 (this girl will pamper u with hug and kisses until the end)
FJ : 9/10 TIGHT..and very energetic..but seems a bit lack of exp. Did cowgirl, Doggie and Missionary position & will keep calling u Baby while moaning. Hug and kiss for a lot before taking Lil Bro out after finish.

Damage : 160 + 50 tips ( I think its worth seems she treats me good)

Will I return...? Maybe if I wanna be pampered by SYT girls..but actually for me I'm a MILF lover. Hehe. I always hunt for places that provide good MILF service.

Anyway Bro Goldfish u doesnt have to approve this comment (if u want to la) for everyone for view since I clearly exposed the MP name.

Happy cheonging :) 

Oh yeah - if you are a MILF lover, you should try the place in Taipan :) Or maybe Y*** at SS15...

Beauty and Economics

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

Signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

More communication problem...

Some say - guys cannot communicate. They just grunt...and they usually grunt too early before the gal finishes, if you know what I mean.

Jokes aside, I think girls are just as bad. As a matter of fact, most Malaysians have a communication issue. Here are two of my latest encounter.

The first, trying to meet up with someone for completely non-sexy stuff. A friend. 

Me: Can I go to the shop at 4pm?

Her (slim and sexy): Huh? Why so late?

This is when I have to cool down. What the fuck kind of answer is that. If 4pm is late, how the eff am I to know what time is a good time for her? If I suggested 8am, it could have been: Why so early? What's next? Suggest 3.59pm? We could go on the whole day guessing. Why can't she just suggest a time, and make the conversation meaningful. This is a clear case of focusing on the problem, but not on the solution.

Case 2: Well, this is just dinner. She's pretty and is a senior MarCom manager. God - how did she get into communications? Or perhaps, that's how she skirts around issues. Oh yeah - great body and fantastic in bed.

It started with a call to her, the night before. No answer. SMS, no answer. Next day, I SMS her again at 10am. Finally, she responded at 11am "In shower". 

Her: In shower.

Me: Since last nite? Must be a lot of fun in the shower, although I prefer the bed.

Me: So, can we meet up for dinner?

Her: Do you like Indian food? How hot can you take?

What the... firstly, I just assume that means she is OK for dinner. I asked if she is OK for dinner, the reply is do I like Indian food? Eff. And how do you describe how hot can one take? Should I reply "Oh, I can enjoy food as long as it is below 500 Scoville". No shit - there is a Scoville scale to measure how hot (as in spicy) food is.

Instead, I replied: As hot as you are, I will be OK. Let's go to a place in Jalan <>. OK with you? I will pick you up at 8pm.

Her reply: Is it <> or <>? I can drive then and meet you there.

My reply: It's <>. It's on the way, so, I can pick you up. 8pm ok?

Her reply: You are my friend, not my driver.

What the fuck. This is now 4pm. And no, I still could not bloody get a time. Sure, gals are known to be late because they wanna look good. But, look at the answers and the questions. It's completely random. If the time is not OK, suggest another time. I am no dictator. Instead, she just went round the bush. 

I am not a great communicator. But hey, to the very least, learn how to answer the bloody question. Then, please learn how to focus on the solution instead of the problem. Sigh.

Just for laughs....

And on a lighter side

Best gift from a gf :)

Spot on!

It does happen from time to time.

What's your experience? From what I hear, guys and gals (in Malaysia) are doing it before they get their SPM certs.

I am guilty as charged.

To those "cam-whores".... stop taking pictures of yourself la.

Why we have so many idiots.

Conspiracy theory.

Stop being an idiot.

This is what life should be.

If you cannot 'connect' to this picture, you are way to young to read this blog!

Einstein in the making. Nothing is absolute (Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle)

Nice figure to illustrate her argument.

Not my idea of a french kiss.

Which are we?

Not bad :)

Is this true?

Massage in Shah Alam

It has been a super long week, with only 6 hours of sleep (or less) per day. So, I wanted a massage. Time - 8.30pm. Didn't want to drive all the way to PJ. So, I decided to try Asia Reflexology, at Sri Muda, Shah Alam. Went there, asked for body massage. Since I am new here, I ask for an hour only. A gal was assigned. Slim, not bad looking. No smile. And like I interrupted her. Oh. 

And then, I got a very special one hand massage. One hand pressing my leg. One hand, messaging (not to be confused with massage) on her phone. It went on. And on. Forget about it. Put it down to experience and go get some sleep. I needed the sleep by then. 

She asked me to turn over, and I did. Then she asked "First time here?" In Malay. I said yes. She said - oh - nak batin massage? I said no. I mean, look - it's just a money-face here. If I wanted a wank, I could have done it myself. And there were plenty of "wankers" (I mean, batin massage providers) around. She kept pestering me. Kept asking, why not? Finger slap my nose. Pinch my nipples. In short, real idiot. But I said, forget about it - just give a bad review online la. I didn't bother to get her name.

Finally, she sat astride me. And started rocking. Oh shit. I mean, her body looks good. The rocking motion - woke up little bro. But I didn't want anything to do with her. So, I paid and left....frustrated. No massage and left with a hard problem. Frustrated. Absolute zero... So, what's next?

PS: Moral of the story - better stick to the known good masseur (without hanky panky). If only Malaysia would clearly label "Fuckshop" or "B2B shop" or "Batin Massage", then, we know exactly what we want. All of it says "Massage", "Reflexology", "Spa" or "Health Club / Health Centre" (more like Hell Centre for some cases), when it is something else all together. And if anyone knows of a decent massage place in Shah Alam area, please let me know.

Hamsap B2B Massage in Sri Kembangan - Zero to hero.

So, I started the night from zero. Being frustrated, I decided to try out a place in Sri Kembangan. This place is known for B2B massage. Heard about it, read about it, research about it. Now it is time to try it. It was getting late - about 10pm. I was getting really tired too. I couldn't get any fun at home - H was out. H's cousin - away for the school holidays. Or on holidays somewhere.

Called the provided phone number, and said - the place is very free. He did add... but a large group is expected after 11pm. Off I went to Sri Kembangan. A few wrong turns, endless traffic lights and the rain - I finally got there. The place was well, empty. I sat down and the OKT said, he will show me a few girls. And one poor guy, in towel only, had to do the walk of shame from 'his' cubicle to the washroom. Both locations are at opposite ends of the place.

Long story short, I selected a girl in blue. Very tall, fair skin, great assets, all-natural tom yam. She spoke English. It started as a normal massage. But she could not keep her hands of me. She was comparing a certain part of my body being thicker than her wrist. That's hilarious. Oh, she had nice long hair too, which she didn't tie up. I like it. 

She was getting goose-bumps. The room was cold. I hugged her. She started to take my hands, and put in on various parts of her curves. I did not protest. She couldn't keep her hands, and mouth off me too. She was whispering all sorts to my ears "I want to do you now". The B2B didn't last too long. "Afterwards, take me slowly, ok?" Oh, the nice smooth body. Lots of licking, teasing and well, french kissing. BBBJ. 69. "So nice - I have feel". She was really really wet. Fingered. Kissed. And well, after that, she almost raped me. Almost - because I was a willing party. 

I really enjoyed it - she rode me. I was sitting up. She rode hard. Hug very tightly. And french kiss. And I could still hear her "ug ug ug ug". She didn't seem to mind when I fingered her back-hole. Hmmm. New idea for the next visit. BJ. Licked ping pong balls. Then, we did a variation of doggy style. Entered her from behind. We were on our knees. One arm hugging her assets. Another fingered her clit. She had one arm on my buttocks... pulling me hard. Another, massaging my ping pong balls. Oh. And somehow, she manage to twist her sexy body to french kiss me. Fantastic. And she had this "planking style". She was on top, legs straight and together. That made it super tight. And she will still french kiss.

All it all, it was really really good. :) By the time we finished, both of us were full of sweat. And she would still hug and kiss. Nice, no rush. The scene outside was a ASEAN meeting by now. Indians (Malaysians or Indians, I am unsure), Chinese, Viet gals, China dolls, and of course - thai girls. Oh yeah - there were two Pinoys too. No shortage of Indons or Malays (unsure - but sounds like it). Some sat and talked about work while waiting for girls / waiting to decide. By the sounds of it, it looks like a whole "rombongan" from the office. Wonder if they got corporate rates. Or was it one of those "lawatan sambil belajar". Not a bad idea for "office trip".

And some buggers started smoking. Urgh. Trust me. The girls hate it. She told me..."Oh no. Someone is smoking. I don't like." I gave a warm and friendly hug. Ahemmmm..... No one wants to lick, kiss and hug an ashtray, OK? I know.... some will retort. "What if she is also a smoker?" Well, try putting a bunch of smokers in a car. Turn on the air-cond to full. Start smoking but with the windows all up. Bad idea? You get my point. And if she really liked smoking, she should try my....never mind.

By the time I got home, it was close to 1am. Or was it after 1am. And I had to get out of bed by 6am the same day. It wasn't the next day by then. But it was really worth it. An outing that ended up completely unexpectedly. All I wanted was a damn massage. Why is that so hard to get?

Honestly, sometimes that's not the best policy

I nearly choked on my fish ball when I was reading the Metro section of The Star. The article was titled "Being honest with your friends". By.....DAPHNE IKING. 

I mean, if one cannot even be honest with the then-husband, what sort of honesty are we talking about here? OK la. To be fair, maybe she has always been honest with her friends. This is sure one lady I like to be in "friend-zone" only. 

And the name of the column? "Different Spin". No shit. It could be the ultimate spin. The only good thing is, I picked up the print edition from a table and didn't pay a cent for it. Imaging paying for this kind of articles.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2013/6/7/central/13207271&sec=

Job hunting

It's never easy to find a "good job". Made worse, when friends give us a lopsided view of their job. They will tell you terrible bosses, clients and co-workers. Or some will tell you good bonus, great pay, and forget about the 'bad' parts. Everything has its pros and cons. This is exactly what I mean.


Moral of the story: The grass always look greener on the other side.
Operative work: Look

More jokes

Hint: Print and stick on a douche-bag's car.

This is really: Shit just got real. Have fun and (s)pray hard.

Kaylee Brown

Here's more of the really sexy hula hoop gal.

BBBJ : Bukit Jalil

Cannot remember if I blog about it. This is a place just for bbbj with CIM, in Bukit Jalil. The girls are mixed. Young ones won't stay, but if you get their numbers, you will be able to 'follow' them. A few very good ones are "Tian Tian" - young, solid boobs, CIM, smooth skin. You could DATY till she cums. And she loves that.

Another is "Tong Tong" but she went to Sunway Mentari. Somewhat young, sucks hard, can deep throat, and she is all for pleasure. That means, if you like her to suck, she will suck more. Even after the first shot and lil' bro is still hard, she will make you shoot again. Also, CIM and allows DATY. 

Long time ago, there was a "Small Snow" there. Very smooth skin. Superb skills with tongue and lips; CIM allowed. Boobs - well, kindda saggy. 

As always - go have fun and explore!

MIA

I must apologize for being missing in action. I have been tied up (not in bed by a pretty girl) with various engineering (Electrical!) projects.

Will answer all questions, emails. And yes - if you want tips on a naughty spot, please share your experience too. Make it fun for all.