A long farewell

Haven't been updating this blog on what I have been up to. Basically, I am just enjoying my farewell. Perhaps enjoying it a little too much. I have daily farewell lunches and at times, even dinners. All in all, I have been eating way too much and not showing up in the gym. Needless to say, that's not good for the waistline. As always, I will worry about that later.

Spent the weekend with my friend visiting from Melaka. Did some shopping but all it all, nothing special. H has been extremely busy lately, I hardly hear from her. Time to get a new fb, and I don't mean Facebook.

Coming weekend will be interesting too. Another friend from Singapore will be visiting. Will spend Sunday night with her. As for Raya, I have no idea what will happen. Still in the planning stage. Might drop by JB to meet up a gal I have been having cyber-sex with. She's really hot online!

Car Jack

This is not an article about stealing cars. However, I sure as hell hope it doesn't educate would be thieves to break-into houses.

Most houses in Malaysia have metal grills on the windows, to make break-ins just a little more difficult. But really, grills are very easy to break. Some grills are well designed, sort of a door-like design, enabling the grills to be unlocked in the event of an emergency.

In any case, should there be a need to break a grill fast, use a car jack. That's the stuff you use to raise your car to change the tires. Car jacks can lift up to 200kg plus, easily. So, it can exert a very large force. It is very simple. Put the jack in between the two bars / grills. Then, start 'lifting'. Usually, this will cause the bars to break, if not it will open a large hole.

Car jacks could also be used to free someone trapped, e.g., leg pinned by a block of concrete. The word of caution is, the car jack is a good make-shift tool, great for emergencies lacking the proper tools. It will not be the best tool, and naturally, there is risk involved in using make-shift methods. Please get the experts such as the fire department to help first!

How to use your Autogate

I am aghast to see how some people use their autogates, i.e. - gates with remote control. Scary stuff that I've seen include: Gates wide open while some occupants are still getting into the car. Another scenario : car stops to open gate, kid jumps out of the car, gate opens, car drives in, mum gets out of car, yells at kid to get it, kid gets into the house compound, gate closes.

In the two scenarios above, there is ample time and opportunity for kidnap or robbery to happen. Why the eff let your kid jump out before the gates open? Someone could have made a grab for the kid. Why open the gates before you get into the car? Sounds silly too. But trust me, I see it every day when I drive to work.

I am unsure if mine SOP for autogate is the best, but here's something that sounds logical enough. To leave the house, I do the following:

1. Get into car.


2. Lock doors.


3. Start car.


4. Open autogate, drive out.


5. Ensure gate is closed properly before driving away.
   

When returning home, it is pretty much the opposite.

1. Drive in


2. Close gate


3. Turn of engine - ONLY after the gates have locked / closed.


4. Unlock car doors, and get out of car.
   

If, just if, anyone decides to rush in while the gates are opening, I will not hesitate to run him or her over. That's why I have my car ready to go when the gate is open. If someone rushes in, another good idea is to sound the horn. Make as much noise as possible. If so required, run him or her over. If their vehicle is in the way, too bad... reverse into it. Reverse gears have great gear ratio to push away obstacles.

You know, every so often, innocent people get run over in the driveway. Accidents do happen. Hint hint. Self defense is the great reason, especially if the guy or gal is wielding a baseball bat or a parang knife.

Drive safe. Learn how to use your autogate properly. If anyone has a better SOP, feel free to suggest. Hope this post can help make you just that little safer.

Cooking...

OK, the title is deceiving, but here's a little (ok ok... maybe more than one) advice.

If you have a gas cylinder / gas tank in the kitchen, for cooking use, my suggestion is chain it. Lock it. Make sure it cannot leave your kitchen easily. I hear you ask... what the eff for. Good question.

For burglars, it is now SOP (standard operating procedure) to break-in with minimum tools. They could be cost cutting too. Usually, one bugger will break-in via a window, toilet windows are good candidates. Once inside, he will make his way to the kitchen, if so required. Yup, if he has to breakdown a door, he will use the gas cylinder as a battering ram. It is ideal. It is heavy, but one man can handle it. It is very tough and yeah, every house (more or less) has at least one.

What doors might he breakdown? Well, at night, you pretty daughter could be asleep alone in her room, with the wooden, usually ply-wood door locked. At 3am, or so, someone breaks in, do you want them to see your daughter / wife (or maybe even a guy - they could be gay)? Your room door, in short, would be the last defence. So, don't provide the burlars with a free battering ram. Lock up your gas cylinders. Chain them. Secure the chain to an anchor / bolted down to the wall. Or chain up a few cylinders together. You should get the point now.

Yeah, if you can afford it, change the bloody ply-wood room doors to solid doors. As I've said, that's the last defence. Solid doors are better barrier against fire too. Think about it. Instead of paying some Bangla guards for half-baked gated community, we must take the initiative first.

PS: I sure hope this article doesn't educate some to-be thieves. But remember, it is a double edged sword. If you need to break down a door, for legit reasons - you know where to get a ram. Say, if your neighbour's house is on fire and you need to rescue his pet dog, use the gas cylinder to break the door, but don't leave the cylinder near the fire! You are duly warned!

Sitting Duck

One problem with amateurs like Jeff trying to come up with security policy is, they really have no clue what they are doing. In this aspect, Jeff is not alone. As they say, there are no shortage of idiots. What amazes me is, idiots refuse to listen to people with more experience. Trust me, I have try to do my part by posting on the community blog, but Jeff just censors them.

It is very common for cars to have "stickers" put on their windscreen. Stickers could be from their work place, some place for parking (such as season parking), their homes, their condominium or even some clubs, like golf clubs. The "stickers" are meant for the guards to allow these car some privileges, such as to enter a gated community.

That is all fine and well for the simple minded, but think about this for one moment. Just a moment. Do you want to tell everyone where you live? Hmmm. I am sure most of us would put up the sticker without even thinking twice. Nible2 has one, but I only put it up when I drive to work. Hell, I remove it when I wanna go to a club for a wild time.

Aha. Alarm bells ringing already? Good. It should be. If you go to a club, do a one night stand, do you really want the gal to know where you stay (more or less) or exactly where you work? Or what if you buy a huge plasma TV and Mid Valley and you load it in your car. Do you want to know tell everyone where this rich chap is staying? I do not think so. Or what if, you know government secrets? Or important trade secrets? Do you want to tell people you know it? Someone might plan to kidnap you or your family members. You know, as they say, some secrets are worth dying for... of course, the kidnappers don't plan to die. Just just plan to kill someone else until they get it. Even after they get it, they might kill someone to get rid of evidence.

What if you are a pretty gal, shopping in 1Utama. Some sickos decide to kidnap you or have his twisted ways with you? All of a sudden, just by looking at your car, they know where you stay, more or less. Or what if the mean guy in a SUV didn't like the way you changed lane along Federal Highway? You wanna let him know where you spend your time?

In short, there are many reasons and even more motive for someone to want to find out where you stay and work. So, why the eff advertise it on your car? Cannot narrow down to where you stay? Bullshit. Gated communities have very few entrance / exits, simple to reduce the cost of guarding them. This forces everyone to be routine. Routine - or being predictable - means you fall prey. All predator has to do is, wait for you right outside you guarded gates... and see where you call home.

Bet you never even thought what those car stickers can do. They can do you in big time. One can easily be a target for rapist, kidnap, espionage, or makes a hitman's life hell a lot easier. But what a layman overnight turned expert like Jeff know? Bet you he has never done any covert operations before.

The alternative...? Oh yes, if it must be gated, give the residence a RFID, long range, card. Card must not have any printing / identification marks. And to the very careful (some say paranoid), when not in use, this card should be kept in a shielded (metal, aluminium foil), envolope to prevent skimming. But that's another ball game... and trust me... I know the subject only too well!

So, if you have stickers advertising on where one can find you, think about it. Do remove it when you do not need it... Better be damn safe in this insane world.

Overnight Security Experts

I have been someone of an expert in the fields of security, working in a private agency, and yes, we work hand in hand with various governments. Yet, I have been extremely cautious in making recommendations. Things could o wrong so easily, when intentions are noble. That's why they say all roads to hell are paved with good intentions. How true.

One of my idiotic neighbours have decided that our area should be a gated community. Currently, it is public accessible, no common fence to separate our little community from the rest of the world. Each house have our own fence and gates, typical of most Malaysian house.

For gated community, the entire neighbourhood will have to form a residence's association, or RA for short. This must be registered with the government. Just paperwork, nothing too serious. Then, we, as neighbours will have to pay for the private security guards, plus the boom gates, plus whatever operating cost.

The worrying part is, this idiot, woke up one morning and appointed himself to be the champion of this. Suddenly, he becomes an expert in security for community. I mean, eff, he probably has not even done a day of law enforcement work. In any case, nothing has stopped this idiot. Let's call him Jeff.

Jeff manage to get some fools to form a committee. Well, we could all agree to that. RA is good. It's more or less free after all. Then, Jeff sends out a form to survey, to see how many supported the idea of a privately gated community. Then, the started pushing for support, really hard. Started collecting money. Some paid up. Jeff even started a blog for the community, but once again, Jeff appointed himself to censor the blog. Opposition to his fancy project were deleted, or not published. More propaganda on the blog.

In short, this Jeff of an idiot has been exactly like the good old BN government. RA has not been registered. So, we now have nothing short of an illegal association. He has started collecting money from the residence. Those not paying up will not get a car sticker. Guards will supposedly block access for those without stickers. He has illegally put up barriers on public road. Heck, this bloody mess is nothing less than gangsterism and collecting 'protection money'.

Anyway, more on Jeff and his idiotic ideas later.

Duck Shooting Committee

The Olympics just concluded a few weeks back in Beijing. Now, this blog is on another 'game' altogether. It is called a Duck Shooting Committee. Nible2 appears to operate with only such committees. This concept was introduced to me by my former Operations Director. He's a joker and I do miss working with him.

But firstly, what on earth is a Duck Shooting Committee? We are all familiar with duck shooting. Simple. First, you load your gun. Then, wait for ducks to fly pass. You see the duck, you aim and you pull the trigger. OK, I won't promote this bloody sport, but that's what it is.

On the other hand, the Duck Shooting Committee operates in a similar fashion, but with a twist. Same procedure. First, load the gun, then wait for the duck. However, the shooter cannot decide to pull the trigger or not. The Committee must decide. So, typically, the Committee members would yell "Shoot", while another would say "Don't shoot". It will take a lot of yelling, going back and forth between "Shoot" and "Don't Shoot" before a decision can be made. Alas, when a decision is made, the duck is nowhere to be seen.

The Nible2 Duck Shooting Committee takes decision making to another level of confusion. While the Committee debates to shoot or not, someone would always ask "Are you sure it is a duck?" A finance guy might literally just duck and hide under the table. The shooter might get fed-up and will likely turn the gun on his fellow Committee members. Alas, it is a bloody mess with no results.

As they say, the worst decision is not a wrong decision, but no decision. I have participated in my fair share of Duck Shooting Committee. On yes, sometimes, we meet individuals who cannot decide on something. That's who we call "A Duck Shooting Committee All Rolled Into One"!

Not to worry. No ducks were hurt while writing this blog. Come to think of it, no work's done either!

Nible2

Alas, I have resigned from Nible2. P is happy to see me leave, the HR manager. I am happy to leave. Many have asked, "why are you leaving"? Is it of Madam C? Is it because you are sad?

Hell no. Let's be professional about it. The only reason I am leaving is because I have a better offer. A much better offer. Don't just leave a place for the sake of it. Firstly, I have a 30% pay increase, and the workplace is closer to home. More importantly, the working hours are shorter. Management appears to be good. I use the word appear because I have yet to start working with them. And the potential is heaps better. They are making a margin of about 40%, with profit in the millions. That's certainly heck a lot more profit that Nible2. Don't mention about the potential to grow. With ex-Gratia bonus as well as profit sharing, I stand to double my income.

Madam C and P has decided to make my life miserable. Leave has been declined while I have been asked to work like a security guard, more or less. What I could not understand is, they did not even bother to ask me where I am heading. My employment clause prevents me from working with a competitor. You know what's sweet revenge?

It's working as a consultant, for a key customer! Imagine, I work for their key customer, say the Government of Malaysia. One fine day, when they are tendering for a big project... hahaha... yours truly comes along and gives Nible2 a big smile. I won't say any more now, but you get the idea... wink wink!

September 16

I remember a Lat cartoon, on the subject of the Pas - Umno debate many years ago. Lat drew a volcano, with much rumble and earth shattering effect before the debate. Alas, on the date of the debate, it was just 'poof', with nothing more to happen. Nothing changed. Life goes on.

It looks like September 16 is the same. About 24 hours have since gone by, nothing happened yesterday. Doesn't look like something will happen today. What an anti-climax. You know what? There isn't even a road-block setup by the police. At least they reacted when Anwar was arrested about two months back. But nothing on Anwar's talk of a change in government.

Lehman Brothers dominated the news. And life pretty much goes on. A bigger news would be Zaid resigning as the de-facto law minister. He has my full respect. He should be the prime minister. He has shown integrity.

I wonder what else will happen. I suspect there won't be much of a show. Boring. As I always agree... politicians are like diapers, they should be changed often for the same reason. I guess Anwar has had his days when he was with BN. Never forget, he was with BN! Which makes my mind boggle.... will the present King remember Anwar's doing of cutting petroleum royalty to his state when Anwar was the Finance Minister?

All I want is a girlfriend

Someone asked me the other day, what would I want in a gf? Good question. I am still looking for a gf, but alas, nothing much has turned up. It is not easy to find a gf nowadays, or at least a gf who shares the same values as me.

Must it be a pretty gal, someone asked? Of course not. Someone sincere would be better. Looks would be secondary. More important is... someone who would love me. Someone who would want a long term relationship. Not many are interested in long term relationships - I mean, those who are still single and available. Some has been dump by their bfs and they no longer want a relationship.

Just want someone who is interested in building a home, share things with, have tonnes of sex, someone to talk to, someone who can be my partner, I suppose. But it is not easy. Carry out charity work. Enjoy weekends together. Travel would be good too. :) It's always fun to travel with a partner. Hehehe.

Another thing - why do people give up so easily? I have seen so many gals, giving up on guys because they have had some bad experience. Never give up in life. Move on, try harder. Same goes for work. People just walk away too easily. Sure, do know when to walk away, but for the right reasons.

Lazy me... Goodbye to Nible2

Well, I have not been posting for some time, more so due to laziness than the lack of time.

First update. I've finally resigned from Nible2. I got a better offer from a very small company. I have no idea how things will turn out, but there is only one way to find out, that is to give it a try. It offers both profit sharing and equity participation. Nice - something which I have been looking for.

It has never been an easy decision to leave Nible2. Whatever it is, Nible2 has been a great place to learn. I have learn a lot while serving Nible2, everything from product management to marketing to operations. The most valuable is to be able to travel worldwide and make friends in many places.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. To best describe the situation is the song "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis. Yes, it will hurt. Yes, I will miss it despite the mess and the daily snafus. It will be a long and hard goodbye.