New Boobs Policy

I was stuck in traffic today and I got this wild idea. Many have complained about the NEP and that other races have been sidelined. So, I have this fantastic "idea" suitable only for Bolehland.

Spoof News: New Boobs Policy

Background
This policy is the mirror of NEP. NEP is to help less fortunate Malays and to ensure that they get a "levelled playing field."

To ensure that the other races benefit from similar policies, we now have the New Boobs Policy (NBP). Based on University Kangkung's research, it is said that Bolehland's Chinese women generally have smaller breast; especially when compared to her Malay counterparts. These smaller boobs have caused certain disadvantages, including but not limited to:

1. Direct loss of economic opportunities (for "commercial vehicles"); as some customers prefer bigger boobs.
2. Indirect loss of income (hamsap bosses giving promotions to ladies with bigger boobs / reduced opportunities during interviews)
3. Losing hubbies to China dolls with bigger boobs

Objective
The objective of NBP is clear. It is to give the less endowed (read "small boobs") a chance to access a more levelled playing field (actually, it is a more curvy 'playing field').

Policy
The following NBP will now be enforced

1. All taxes and duties for bras for cup size A and B shall be abolished.
2. GST shall be exempted for bars less than 300cc - that's cup A and B.
3. All bras for cup sizes A and B shall have mandatory "push-up" features.
4. For bras between 300cc to 400cc (C and D) - an excise duty of 50% shall be imposed.
5. For bras exceeding 500cc (E or bigger), an excise duty of 100% shall be imposed.
6. Langkawi and Federal Territory of Labuan shall continue to sell duty-free bras, regardless of size. However, duty free bras may only be taken out of these areas without tax if the visitors stay for more than 3 nights and there is a limit to two bras per person. Female above the age of 18 only.
7. All bras exceeding 300cc must be manufactured by selected companies. These companies shall be selected on a close tender basis due to national security reasons.
8. Imports of bras exceeding 300 cc must have MITI approved permit (AP)
9. Bras assembled locally (CKD) will have a lower tax rate.
10. Eco-friendly bras, such as those made from cabbage / lettuce / whip-cream will be tax exempt for current financial year. 
11. Cost of purchase of bra sizes A and B shall enjoy tax rebates, as long as the original receipts can be produced to LHDN.
12. Subsidy of RM 280 per cc shall be provided for cosmetic surgery for individuals with natural breast size not exceeding 100cc.
13. Subsidy of RM 180 per cc shall be provided for cosmetic surgery for individuals with natural boobs size not exceeding 200cc.
14. Typical of government policy, there is no warranty on outcome of surgery.
15. Service tax (20%) shall be levied on all cosmetic surgery for women born with boobs bigger than a C cup.
16. Lifetime rebate will be provided for purchase of bras for those who take up cosmetic surgery for boobs enhancement.
17. Policy is available for females only.
18. Bra cup information will be included in the MyKad under the application of "MyBra".

Boobs-a-kom
In order to determine the classification of boobs size for the purpose of NBP, a new 30 year concession will be given to Boobs-a-kom (not to be confused with PUSPAKOM). Boobs-a-kom shall:

1. Provide boobs examination and classification.
2. For "commercial vehicles", an annual inspection is required to ensure that boobs have not suffered fatigue from wear-and-tear as well as the effects of gravity.
3. Licenses for "Commercial vehicles" older than the age of 35 will not be renewed.
4. Long queues are expected. Please be patient.
5. "Vehicle" owners are reminded to clean their "vehicles" prior to inspection.

 Now, I hereby submit my application for a position in Boobs-a-kom. Of course, with NEP in place, I will not be applying for the DG of Boobs-a-kom. I would just be happy as a Head of Department for "New Vehicle Registration" section. Hehehehe.

I sure as hell hope the gov will not get ideas from my spoof news.

PS: I have way too much time on my hands. Hahaha.