MACC (Malaysian Assassination Commission Club) got a stuntman to re-enact the alleged suicide. See more here.
Well, this damn sure gave the police some good ideas. Just at the right time too. They are busy investigating the allegedly Anwar sextapes. And guess what? They just found the gal. In order to get into the re-enactment business, the police has decided to try out "suitable" stuntman.
I can imagine what a re-enactment record could be like...
Re-Enactment Report
This is to check the authenticity of the sex tape. Ala MACC which asked a stuntman to jump out of the window to see if it was suicide or murder, PDRM has concluded this significant forensics test.
The female test subject, aka the alleged Chinese Prostitute (here-in after referred to as "PRC") was asked to corporate with the Police. Due to unforeseen circumstances, a number of stuntmen were required.
Stuntmen 1 (Code Name: Lingam)
The stuntman entered the set, and was busy talking on the phone. He was also gesturing wildly. For two hours, he ignored the very sexy PRC. PRC tried to seduce the stuntman to no avail. The stuntmen kept repeating "Correct Correct Correct", but the PRC appears to be confused by it all.
PRC got bored and started to video tape the stuntman talking on her phone. Test was immediately halted as it is too close to life of a not-too-long-ago concluded RCI. Just before leaving the set, the stuntman told the PRC "It will look like me, sound like me, but it will not be me."
Stuntmen 2 (Code Name: Saiful)
Stuntmen entered the set, PRC was not happy. PRC noted some semen was on the stuntman's clothes, and ass. PRC got stuntmen to shower. After that, stuntmen was trying to sell his ass to the PRC instead of having sex with the PRC.
PRC declined and stuntmen started to make offers to the cameramen and other crew. Re-enactment aborted.
Stuntmen 3 (Code Name: Jib)
Stuntmen was initially unable to get a erection. PRC tried hard. PRC nearly gave up. Then, the crew decided to excite the stuntman with the sight of some money. Stuntmen got real excited when he saw the money. He got an instant hard-on.
Just as things started to go as plan, someone tried to sneak into the set with C4 explosives. Re-enactment aborted.
Stuntmen 4 (Code Name: @Yo-rais)
Stuntmen entered the room. Saw PRC. PRC tried to make first move. Stuntmen then made a request - PRC must be dressed as a maid.
Stuntmen 5 (Code Name: CSL)
Stuntmen entered the room with PRC. Initially, stuntmen was not able to perform. Had to hide camera. Then, stuntmen performed extremely well, given his age.
Re-enactment is not conclusive. Stuntmen did not follow script. Too much oral sex.
However, before he left the set, he disclosed his secret...." I take Semi-Velu Viagra. Very potent and better than the usual Viagra. It's just like his political career. Once up, never down!"
Stuntmen 6 (Code Name: Semi-Velu)
Stuntmen entered room. Smiled at PRC. Started to make some promises to PRC, about improving estate life and etc. Suddenly, he wanted to collect money from the PRC. Says the PRC must pay toll. Otherwise, an act of god might happen.
Next...
Stuntmen 7 (Code Name: M)
Stuntmen entered room with a cynical smile. PRC smiles back. Stuntmen keeps his cynical smile. Nothing much happened. Stuntmen lupa his script. Then, lupa what he has to do. Also lupa .... He laments, "Melayu Mudah Lupa" before conjuring a biography and starts reading.
Next...
Stuntmen 8 (Code Name: Man on the Street)
Enters room. Mutters prayers. Starts scolding "You fellows have nothing to do is it?" Never seen someone fuck before? The economy is in shit. Inflation is sky high, mat rempits and snatch thieves every where. And you all are obsessed with a sex tape."
IGP walks in and punches stuntman on the eye.
**Censored**
To Investigate Further
There is a couple of points to clarify. Firstly, there is a need to check if the male actor in the porn movie was indeed circumcised.
Next, the alleged male actor will be subjected to a male (Sai-ful) and female (PRC) specimen in the same room. It is very doubtful if the alleged actor is gay, straight or both. This must be investigated in full.
On an unrelated note
Another re-enactment that we all love to hate: Get half a football team to fuck Saiful in the ass. Checks if he can goes three days without showering or shitting.
Well, this damn sure gave the police some good ideas. Just at the right time too. They are busy investigating the allegedly Anwar sextapes. And guess what? They just found the gal. In order to get into the re-enactment business, the police has decided to try out "suitable" stuntman.
I can imagine what a re-enactment record could be like...
Re-Enactment Report
This is to check the authenticity of the sex tape. Ala MACC which asked a stuntman to jump out of the window to see if it was suicide or murder, PDRM has concluded this significant forensics test.
The female test subject, aka the alleged Chinese Prostitute (here-in after referred to as "PRC") was asked to corporate with the Police. Due to unforeseen circumstances, a number of stuntmen were required.
Stuntmen 1 (Code Name: Lingam)
The stuntman entered the set, and was busy talking on the phone. He was also gesturing wildly. For two hours, he ignored the very sexy PRC. PRC tried to seduce the stuntman to no avail. The stuntmen kept repeating "Correct Correct Correct", but the PRC appears to be confused by it all.
PRC got bored and started to video tape the stuntman talking on her phone. Test was immediately halted as it is too close to life of a not-too-long-ago concluded RCI. Just before leaving the set, the stuntman told the PRC "It will look like me, sound like me, but it will not be me."
Stuntmen 2 (Code Name: Saiful)
Stuntmen entered the set, PRC was not happy. PRC noted some semen was on the stuntman's clothes, and ass. PRC got stuntmen to shower. After that, stuntmen was trying to sell his ass to the PRC instead of having sex with the PRC.
PRC declined and stuntmen started to make offers to the cameramen and other crew. Re-enactment aborted.
Stuntmen 3 (Code Name: Jib)
Stuntmen was initially unable to get a erection. PRC tried hard. PRC nearly gave up. Then, the crew decided to excite the stuntman with the sight of some money. Stuntmen got real excited when he saw the money. He got an instant hard-on.
Just as things started to go as plan, someone tried to sneak into the set with C4 explosives. Re-enactment aborted.
Stuntmen 4 (Code Name: @Yo-rais)
Stuntmen entered the room. Saw PRC. PRC tried to make first move. Stuntmen then made a request - PRC must be dressed as a maid.
Stuntmen 5 (Code Name: CSL)
Stuntmen entered the room with PRC. Initially, stuntmen was not able to perform. Had to hide camera. Then, stuntmen performed extremely well, given his age.
Re-enactment is not conclusive. Stuntmen did not follow script. Too much oral sex.
However, before he left the set, he disclosed his secret...." I take Semi-Velu Viagra. Very potent and better than the usual Viagra. It's just like his political career. Once up, never down!"
Stuntmen 6 (Code Name: Semi-Velu)
Stuntmen entered room. Smiled at PRC. Started to make some promises to PRC, about improving estate life and etc. Suddenly, he wanted to collect money from the PRC. Says the PRC must pay toll. Otherwise, an act of god might happen.
Next...
Stuntmen 7 (Code Name: M)
Stuntmen entered room with a cynical smile. PRC smiles back. Stuntmen keeps his cynical smile. Nothing much happened. Stuntmen lupa his script. Then, lupa what he has to do. Also lupa .... He laments, "Melayu Mudah Lupa" before conjuring a biography and starts reading.
Next...
Stuntmen 8 (Code Name: Man on the Street)
Enters room. Mutters prayers. Starts scolding "You fellows have nothing to do is it?" Never seen someone fuck before? The economy is in shit. Inflation is sky high, mat rempits and snatch thieves every where. And you all are obsessed with a sex tape."
IGP walks in and punches stuntman on the eye.
**Censored**
To Investigate Further
There is a couple of points to clarify. Firstly, there is a need to check if the male actor in the porn movie was indeed circumcised.
Next, the alleged male actor will be subjected to a male (Sai-ful) and female (PRC) specimen in the same room. It is very doubtful if the alleged actor is gay, straight or both. This must be investigated in full.
On an unrelated note
Another re-enactment that we all love to hate: Get half a football team to fuck Saiful in the ass. Checks if he can goes three days without showering or shitting.
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