Why am I labelled a Chinese?

I get very sore every damn time a form ask me for race. Chinese, Indian, Malays are the options available, but no Malaysian.

Let me ask the authorities this, why the fuck are they calling me a Chinese?

Your Grandfather Came from China

Really ah? How the fuck to you want to prove my grandfather or my great grandfather came from China? You have a record of his boarding pass? Oh... you don't. Then? You know the date he arrived in Malaya? Oh, you don't. So, why the fuck do you say my ancestors came from China?

Who is my grandfather?
My paternal grandfather died when my Dad was still a kid. So, let's say I never knew him. The closest I ever get to him is his grave during Cheng Meng - which was two weeks ago. But I don't think that counts. At least I know his name.

Great grandfather? Sorry - no idea who he is. No photo, no name. Even the grave has long collapse. I am unsure if my Dad got to meet him. Back in those days, health care was poor and life expectancy was short. Then, the Japanese occupation destroyed any remaining paperwork.

Since I cannot trace further than my grandparents (paternal), how come some jokers call me Chinese for something that my great grandparents allegedly did (arriving from China)?

For the record, my paternal grandpa was born in Malaya, grandma in Indonesia now resting in peace in Melbourne. Maternal grandparents were born in Malaya and still well and alive in Perak.

My point is, even I am unclear of my family tree, how can the government call me a Chinese? As I have stated, my paternal grandmother was born in Indonesia. Serumpun.

Other doubts
And how the fuck do they want to prove that I am really Chinese, even if my great grandparents were from China? I mean, one of them could have married a local. Or had an affair with a local. Mind you, it was damn common to have more than one wife... even till today.

More than that, someone in my family could have been adopted. How do you know no one adopted a native, or a Malay kid?

And also, if Mahathir who is half Bangla is a bumiputera, how about me? I started even earlier ler.... my grandmother is from Indon. :P

It's not to say that I do not care about my background, but back then there were no records. My maternal grandparents never registered for their marriage but have been together since Japanese ruled Malaya. That's why it is not registered - the British were defeated and it was war time. No rules for adoption either.

Skin Colour
This is about as dumb as it gets. If someone wants to classify me by skin colour, it's got to be stupid.

If I stay in Melbourne winter for three months, then come back - what? Call me a PRC?
If I stay in the sun for two days? Malay?
Two months - Bangla?

Kind of stupid right? And clearly it does not work either. In any case, I can get more Fair and Lovely for my ass.

Present Day Facts
I present some interesting facts (not rumours, not hearsay, not circumstantial)

1. I speak English. Write in English. My Chinese is limited to my name, and shouting words related to the male and female anatomy referenced to mothers, fathers and grandparents.
2. If that classifies me as speaking proficiently in Chinese, I am equally proficient in Tamil. Hey - I grew up in a tough environment. One has to learn the essentials of a language.
3. My Malay is heaps better than my Chinese and Tamil.
4. I do NOT remit any money to China or India.
5. I have NO family relations in China, unless you count the massage lady from PRC.
6. I have no clue where my alleged ancestors came from in China. No idea which village, or state.
7. I eat more satay, tosai, nasi lemak than bah ku teh.
8. I prefer to bonk Malay and Indon girls compared to PRCs. Hahaha.
9. I rather vote for PAS than MCA, any time.
10. I cannot stand the sight of rude PRCs, regardless of how rich or sexy they are.

So, again - why am I Chinese? I am a Malaysian. I dare not even say I am a Buddhist. Taoist, closer. But don't ask me to name the deities or rituals. No clue.

This is the reality for most Malaysians. And that's is what being a Malaysian in all about. Gone were the days you could label a guy Chinese. Those Ah Pek that sent money home (in China) monthly, have relations in China, even die also want to be buried in China.- they are all long gone. That was a long ago era. The tin mines, no Facebook, no HIV, no cars. Fuck... in today's world, I even need an effing visa to get into China.

I really hope some lawyers will take the Government to the High Court to prove someone is Chinese or India, or whatever. It is time to wake up and realize this is 2011. More than 50 years after Merdeka. It's no longer 1811.