The experiments

With all the free time in the office, I am actively carrying out tonnes of experiments. Uncovering new problems daily. Findings for the day:

Car in shade, windows slightly opened, cloudy: 45 deg C

Car in sun, windows completely closed, sunny: 75 deg C

Car in sun, windows slightly opened, sunny: 61 deg C

I was surprised that the temperature went up to 75 degrees Celsius, measured on the dashboard of my car. By the looks of the data given, the best way to just keep the heat out is to leave the windows opened slightly. I guess that would be better than expensive tints. The downside is, I am not sure if this makes car theft easier.

Working on a few other experiments too. The mosquito trap shall be commissioned soon. Rice stockpile project has started but alot of work is needed in that area. Not easy to keep rice fresh.

Funny pics

Here's a list of my favourite funny pics. Some taken from various websites and I do acknowledge them.

I am in full agreement to squeeze boobs. It would be fun for both and yes, it could save a life!

We will never look at the letter 'A' in the same light again.

Anyone interested in completing this picture with me?

This accurately sums my feelings every morning when I have to get to work.

Instead of just pressing the boobs, we should go for all three - together. Hmm. I don't think my hands alone can do the job. Guess I will have to use my tongue, somewhere!

Marketing - It is all about image

Here's a gem. Marketing should be all about image, but Nible2 is still wondering how come we've lost so many tenders. Well, here's why.

This is a picture of the boxes which we used for tender submission. The documents are placed inside the boxes and sent to the tender committee. Well, given the boxes, it's no big wonder why we keep losing our pants.

To save the environment, we usually use recycled boxes for a multi-million dollar (no kidding) tender submission. The boxes are really old and tattered. This one was horribly dusty. Heck, most of the boxes are by someone else. Heaven knows what these boxes once contained. Who cares if it has no Nible2 logo, no name and no address. The environment is of the upmost important.

And who would dare accuse Nible2 of not doing any CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) work? We are willing to forgo a multi-million dollar for mother nature. Here's our proud contribution to World Earth Day 2008!

Over Paid Typist

Well, my wisdom tooth surgery has almost fully recovered. It was itching like crazy yesterday but just a dull pain today. Not bad at all. Will be having the stitches removed by the end of this week.

On the business front, AC is still giving me hell. I have been sitting around doing nothing much for the past few days, which is good. I did do my own research on weevils. Will publish my findings on those soon.

Today, I have been given the task to manually do data entry from business cards into an excel file. No shit clue as to why AC has chosen an EXCEL file to store contact details. An address book or a database would have made some sense. Anyway, it will be a quick job and I will leave the rest pretty much as it is. Hehehe. It is call working smart. The key is to look very busy while doing nothing productive. Work smart, not work hard.

Started my job hunting already, which is pretty much in full gear. Will continue to send my resume to a few more head hunters. Anyone looking for someone with engineering - electronics background who's into marketing work? Call me, call me now!

Out of the world experience

I am trying to date this gal, let's call her Wendy. She's about 23, superb body, cute and pretty face, single and available. She is doing an accountancy course in a private college. She's a nice gal.

Dating her is definitely an out of the world experience. Or should I say, trying to date her is just an experience. One will never forget it. A typical conversation, would go like this:

Me: Hey, Wendy, had your lunch?

Wendy: I just came back from classes.

Heck, I asked about lunch and the reply was classes. I use to eat in lectures, so there isn't much of a correlation between classes and lunch. Sometimes, or more often than not, people just skip lunch. Leaves me wondering.

Me: Wanna go for a movie today?

Wendy: But yesterday you said you were not free?

What the heck. Who cares what I said yesterday. I did say I was not free tomorrow, but who said anything about today? And why care about what I said yesterday, unless of course, yesterday, I promised to marry her before trying to get her pregnant. No such fun because I was in bed with a sore tooth - or the lack of a wisdom tooth.

Me: What time are you free?

Wendy: Hmmm....but what do you want to buy in Jusco?

What the fuck. I have no idea how the questions and the answer is even related. I wanted to tell her I needed some condoms to do her. But that would be a lie. I rather do her without condoms! Just kidding. Safe sex is important. And I do not want to get her pregnant. Imagine - having two kids just like her. Oh boy. I would have to take the vow of silence for the rest of my life.

Me: I'm online now. Wanna chat?

Wendy: But you are busy.

What the fuck. If I am busy, surely I would not ask her to chat online. Anyway, if I asked her to chat online, I could not be that busy. I could be busy chatting up five gals, but what the heck, I could manage another. She seems badly confused.

I say, at any one time, I rather date a less pretty, a more matured gal. When I say matured, I mean mentally. From my experience, maturity (in terms of thinking) has little correlation with age. I have friends who are than Wendy, but they all can communicate well. I have a suspicion Wendy maybe a hyper-active child or something like that. I do appreciate her, for teaching me the virtue of patience.

If it is not for my no kiss and tell policy, I would have posted the transcript of some of our conversations. This brings me to a conclusion. Talking to Wendy is like talking to a black box which spills out random answers.

First Aid

With the lots of travel, I have heaps in my first aid 'kit'. It can be considered a minor pharmacy by now. Here are some of the items that I have, but first, a word of caution.

I am no medical expert and this information is only good for first aid. It is no substitute for proper and professional medical advice / care. It is useful for temporary pain relieve but seek medical help as soon as possible. Listed drugs are based on advice given to me, but you should talk to your medical practitioner on what drugs are suitable for you. All drugs have side effects and may be unsuitable for certain individuals.

What's in my first aid kit:

• Panadol, soluble
• Panadol for period pain (H use to take it)
• Condoms
• Carbon pills (do not find them useful)
• Buscopan ('pain killers' for stomach)
• Duspatalin (lets stomach and digestive system to relax)
• Imodium (to stop diarhea)
• Gascol / Disflatyl ( to get rid of gas from digestive system )
• Alcohol Swabs (good to clean public toilets before using them)
• Super glue (who knows - usually for my shoe)
• Digital Thermometer
• Maxalon (to stop vomiting)
• Clarinase, Clarityne, Sudafed, Actifed (cold medication - warning, some of them cause drowsiness).
• Band aid
• Solimat (cough mixture)
• Broad spectrum antibiotics (in extreme emergency)

The worst case of illness I had, when travelling was:

Food poisoning in Boston. It happened about 18 hours before I boarded my flight back to KL. I spent most of the time in the toilets of Boston Airport. Imodium did not appear to help much. Thankfully, it stopped when I boarded the plane. Did not want to imagine spending 7 hours trans Atlantic in a small toilet. What would happen should there be turbulence? Not funny.

I also got food poisoning in Bangkok, Thailand (which stupidly, I took raw oysters) and Singapore. Yup, supposedly clean Singapore, after lunch at a food court, knocked me out of action for two days. Getting food poisoning in Bangkok was serious too. I was running out of medication, and all the food was spicy. Suffered for about three days. I am careful with my food when I travel, but as they say, shit happens (no pun intended).

In India, strangely, I never had food poisoning. I am very grateful for this. The worst in India was cold. I picked it up just before leaving for Mumbai. My nose was running for the whole day. Imagine blowing your nose ( constantly leaving for the wash room ) while doing a due diligence on another company. Ended up taking a day off in the hotel. Recovered much later when I was back in KL.

Many times, I have used my first aid kit to 'rescue' fellow colleagues. They would be happy to have some medication and sometimes, almost immediate relief. As I would always tell them, I have everything except birth control pills. Actually, that's no longer true. Lately, I have been carrying Prostinor around. You know why...

Inflation

An article on the NST today, which I think it is written by a doffus. It was commenting on inflation. The advice: spend less. What the heck? Who in the right mind would suggest that. Here's a story...



Let's say you got $100 at 5pm today. You know that when you wake up tomorrow morning, the price of bread would have increased from $1 to $2, rice from $40 to $80. What would you do? Keep the money? Of course no. You spend all of it. Why keep the money (which is just paper with some fancy printing) and loose the value.



So, how could this doffus tell the rakyat to spend less? The rakyat should be doing better things with their money to beat inflation. Spend prudently, but for crying out loud, please do not keep cash! I actually learnt about this back in my uni days. Back then, I too, was a doffus.



***



The Sun newspapers certainly did cheer me up a great deal this morning. It did bring the full meaing of the word 'priceless'. It ran a picture of Datuk Abdul Karim Mansor. Mansor is the state assemblyman for Tanjong Sepat, I think. A couple of days ago, he was leading a huge group to protest a pig farm in Tanjong Sepat, calling the present government insensitive. He said that Muslim rights were being threatened.





Picture from http://www.sun2surf.com/article.cfm?id=21559. Click on link to read the whole article.



Then, the Sun published this picture. It is Mansor, thumbs up in a pig farm in Germany. (at least it looks like him, may sound like him, but it may not be him. Now, say "Thank you, Lingam.") Hahaha. Why thumbs up? Because he wanted to start a company which owns the pig farm and collect levy for every pig. Back then, there was no Muslim rights being treatened. As long as he gets the money, Muslim or no Muslim, thumbs up!



Way to go BN! They may be bad at running the country but it sure gives my day a good start - laughter! That's a good painkiller too.

The deed is done

It's already 24 hours and the deed is done. Now, the healing part. Yes, I've had the wisdom tooth removed. It did hurt but not half as badly as I expected it to be. The worse was just after the anesthetics wear out. It hurt like crazy and I had to take a pain killer.

The procedure itself was longer than expected. It took 90 minutes instead of the expected 45 minutes. Don't blame the dentist as I am sure he did the best he could. It was just a tough case. The cost was RM 650, a little higher than expected. In any case, the doctor was very professional.

Today - oh well, I have swollen left cheek. The pain has subsided inside but my cheeks hurt like crazy. It took about 6 hours for the bleeding to stop.

Painkillers? Naah. Have to avoid those. I have been given Arcoxia 120mg. That name sounded familiar to me and I checked the internet (after taking one that is!). Holly cow. Now I know where I've heard about Arcoxia. In the USA. Arcoxia is by Merck and it is to replace Vioxx. Arcoxia was rejected by the FDA. I am no expert, but I think it causes heart attacks or multiply organ failures - something bad anyway. And 120mg was the highest possible dose. Holly cow. I am trying my very best not to take any today.

Which brings me to another topic. So, painkillers / drugs are known to have side effect. I figured it out. How to forget the pain? A good blowjob. I have yet to try it to check on its effectiveness, but I have a strong feeling it would work. If a blowjob doesn't work, double the dose - have two gals working on you. Hehehe. I am sure that will work! Of course, there will be some side effects too but that's a chance I am willing to take. Anyone willing to experiment with me? Hehehe. I will need painkillers in about 3 hours' time!

More Safety Tips

I receive this from a forwarded email, so, I have no idea who the originator is but it does make sense.

1. The elbow is the strongest point on your body.If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your Wallet and / or purse than you and he will go for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping,eating,working - and just sit (doing their check book, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.

AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

5. A Few Notes About Getting Into Your Car In a Parking Lot,or parking Garage. Be aware: look around you; look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. And check out under the car as you approach.

B. If you're parked next to a big van you should enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car,you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ, RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women? He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door. 'He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby cry recorder and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they heard baby cries outside their doors!

Jokers

This is a life update. I am bored in the office, hence the entertainment.

I was out for lunch earlier and I discovered that another colleague of mine collects currency / paper notes. Oh yes, did I mention that she's a real babe? Really good looking one too. Too bad, she's already taken and I still don't like to eat and shit in the same place.

Bali

Well, are more pics and stories from my Bali trip. It was a few weeks ago, but I finally have the type to blog it.

As mentioned, we got a very nice room at a bargain of USD 60 per night. H and I stayed at Inna Kuta Beach Hotel, which is next to the beach, close to Legian Street. It a peaceful, safe (IMHO) and clean hotel. Good facilities with free breakfast. Staff is friendly, speaks English (as possibly other languages). In short, yes, I would want to return to this hotel if I visit Bali again.

Pool at Inna Kuta Hotel.

This is our 'room'. Large room with a dining area. No kitchen, but we didn't plan on cooking. The down side is, there is another room right next to us, in the same bungalow. The two rooms are separated by two wooden doors. Let's just say that the doors are not very solid and there is a little, just a little sound that passes through. The problem is, during our very intimate (long) moments, H would make a lot of noise, if you get what I mean. We try to keep it down, but it's difficult. We don't care if they neighbours know that we are screwing, but I don't want to bother them.

Hmmm. That's my idea of good fashion. H's sexy dress by the bed side the next morning. Hehehe. It took me some time to find my shorts, which was between the bed and the mattress. Don't ask how.

In general, we made love twice a day. It's so nice to wake up in the morning, hugging H. One thing leads to another, and we will end up having sex. At night, we would definitely take our time making love. I enjoyed kissing her, hugging her, eating out the breasts - she gets noisy already, playing with her pussy, eating her out; doggy style is her favourite but we both love to hug each other, kiss and fu*k at the same time. Very intimate. In the afternoons, she's naughty - she would give me blowjobs but won't let me cum - to save it for the night. Hehehe.

While having sex on the beach sounded very naughty and tempting, the both of us didn't want to risk it. We were not afraid of getting caught but didn't want any sand on the more sensitive parts of the body!

Speaking of the beach, this is the view right outside our room. Wow! The other quirky thing was, they have lifeguards. Safe areas to swim are marked with a red and yellow flag (Swim between the yellow flags). Unsafe areas are marked with red flags. As usual, most would think the red flags are for decorative purposes only, swimming and diving in areas marked unsafe. I sure hope nothing bad happens.

Like any tourists, no holidays would be complete without souvenirs. The worst places to buy souvenirs are from the stalls outside tourist areas - such as just outside a temple. Bad idea. It would be a major rip off. They have no price tags, and super inflated prices. You need to bargain for a 90% discount. That's not my idea of shopping. I am on holidays. Why should one waste his time and energy haggling over price? Why get ripped off?

So, with some luck, we found a great place to shop for souvenirs - Omega Handicraft which is along Legian Street, Kuta. It's about 10 minutes from the hotel, by foot. Everything has a price tag and the prices are reasonable. Very wide selection of products. Highly recommended place to hunt for souvenirs.

Something very puzzling - dicks for sale. To be precise, wooden phallus on sale. They cost about Rp 25,000 each (or RM 10 / USD 3 each). Like real-life, they come in all shapes and sizes. The puzzling part is, why sell dicks? I wonder does the local women use them as dildos? Surely their men can satisfy them.

In any case, I bought some too, as a gag gift. And bought the biggest I could find - for only one purpose. No no, not to use it as a dildo. My original equipment works fine. If my partners want a dick, they can just give me a call and I will satisfy them. :) If I ever resign from Nible2 - correction, when I resign from Nible2, I will show it to my bosses and ask them to ... You get the idea.

Could they at least sell wooden phallus and a statue of Buddha separately, for crying out loud?

I bought a lot (Rp4.5 million) of Indonesian Rupiah before I left KL. Ran of money into Day 3. The gross under-estimate was due to the fact that credit cards are not widely accepted. Cash is preferred. So, I had to buy more currency in Kuta. There are many currency traders along streets. Some would offer Rp2650 for each ringgit. Some were offering up to Rp 2980 for each ringgit. At first, I didn't know. I went to one which offered Rp 2980. I wanted to sell RM 300.

That stall itself was shady, at the back of a shop, under a staircase. Figured out it was illegal. In any case, I was feeling brave (H was waiting outside). They proceeded to give me the Indonesian currency, close to Rp 800,000, all in Rp 20,000 notes. It was a huge stack. In Indonesia, they have Rp 50,000 and Rp 100,000 notes. But these crooks, preferred the Rp 20,000 bills for only one reason. They cheat.

After I've counted the stack of Rp 20,000 bills, one of the guys helpfully stacked it back nicely for me. That's when I knew I was being tricked. During the stacking process, very quickly and I didn't observe it, he must have removed some of the bills. I recounted the stack again, and sure enough, it was short of Rp 200,000 this time. I told them that it's short. So, they had to cough up the 'missing' cash. I did get a good bargain (they suffered a lost in exchange) but I was nearly cheated. One has to be brave to deal with these crooks.

Moral of the story - after one has counted the notes, do NOT let anyone else touch it.

I could not help but to post another picture of Jimbaran here. A must visit and must dine place in Bali. Very romantic place.

Strangely, there were few Indonesian food outlets along Kuta. Most of them served Western food, or Japanese food. H and I preferred local food when we travel. Fortunately, we were introduced to Made's Warung along Legian street. It has good food, cheap, good service and most important - Indonesian cooking!

That's the sign of Made's Warung. Always busy. Starts at 8am. However, I don't see many tourist up and about at that hour. I certainly would be in bed with H enjoying each other's body. Anyway, back to the subject of food. How good was Made's Warung? We dined there for four meals, including a breakfast. Each time, we ordered different dishes. My favourite was the noodles in soup ( I cannot recall the name ). H loves soups.

On Day 3, we took a cab to Denpasar. One way was about Rp 80,000 but it is a lot cheaper to rent them for a day. The cheapest being the cabs by the road side - but do be careful. We went to Denpasar Market. A local lady, speaks English, decides to tail H and I. At every shop, when we asked the proprietor for the price, she would interrupt, mumbles to each other in their local dialect, and replies to me in English. The problem was, the prices were greatly inflated. Mind you, Malaysians can speak some Bahasa Indonesia, we needed no translator and we definitely knew the products well! They weren't foreign to us. Bananas went for Rp 15,000.

So, it took us something for H and I to shake of this unwanted agent. We did so leaving the market. Then, we got smarter - we approached the market from a side entrance. Looks like the agents were only waiting in front. Oh, I got some good avocados, bananas (for Rp 2500 only, but decided to pay the old lady Rp 5000), rambutans and some spices.

Denpasar Market.


For the rest of the day and Day 4, we went touring, to various tourist spots: temples, beaches. I cannot recall where some of these pictures were taken but they are certainly beautiful places. As for temples, we only walked on the outside. I don't like to enter the temples per-se as a tourist - it is meant for prayers! Anyway, that's my belief.

An elaborate door arch.

This would have been a great place for a beer, with H on my lap. It was really windy, overlooking the sea beneath, listening to the waves breaking.

Not to be left out, we attended a Barong Dance - a traditional Balinese dance. It tells a very interesting story. The only damper was the rain. It did clear up eventually.

I end this blog with a picture of the memorial at Legian, Kuta - to remember the victims of the senseless 2002 bombings. I feel sad that the world has to come to this. I still think business in Bali is affected. Kuta certainly isn't very crowded. Oh well, that's part of life. If only people learn to accept things and not fight it. Even if they must fight it, go face to face with the US Army or the Australian Armed Forces. Why take it out on a group of innocent tourist?

Dreaded visit to the Dentist

It's Tuesday and I have been caught in the strangest of tug of 'war'. My Head of Department, let's call her A, doesn't want me her department. I have been 'jobless' for the last two weeks. Not that I am complaining, but I do welcome the change from the sheer madness. It is good to just sit around and keep the chair warm.

Another HOD has resigned and he wants me to take over. His section is a pile of crap, which he admits. While I have no preference, my current HOD, A, has decided to keep me around. I have no idea why she wants to keep me around when at the same time, I have just been asked to keep the chair warm. She is just toying with me? Or wants to freeze me to death? Or am I her insurance policy - when things go wrong, I can be the sacrificial lamb.

But that's just business. I don't loose any sleep over it. What's on my mind is, tomorrow's appointment with the dentist. To remove the wisdom tooth. It will hurt my wallet. My jaw will hurt. Mouth will hurt. I will have to keep my mouth shut but I sure hope I am not disabled in pain, to the point I am unable to blog.

My colleague had his wisdom tooth removed sometime back. Took him 6 days to recover. And many visits to the dentists. He was chewing on ice chips, eating ice cream and a extremely soft diet for days. When he showed up for work, his face was still swollen. Oh well, at least I know what I am in for. I sure hope I have chosen the right dentist!

Odd balls... and other photos

I've seena number of rather quirky things during my travels, and yes, at work too. Here are some pictures of those worthy of mention.

This picture was taken in Bali, Indonesia. I was surprised that all the motorcycles actually stopped behind the white line. We don't see this often, even in Malaysia.

Unfortunately, this picture was taken in Bali, Indonesia as well. It tells a completely different story, with five fellows on one bike. Kids without helmet. Once again, not common in Malaysia.

Lorries / trucks in India (especially in Mumbai), love to have the "Horn Please OK" 'bumper sticker'. I have no idea what it means. The place is certainly noisy enough without additional encouragement. This particular truck as transporting dangerous chemicals - but the it indeed has a very colourful warning. If you zoom into the photo, the danger sign is spelt "Dagner".

These two pictures are my all time favourite. It is taken at the Mumbai International Airport. This must be the biggest Emergency Break Glass in the world. Usually, it is small pieces of glass. But how on earth is someone expected to break this piece of glass? In an emergency? India is indeed truely unique. I reckon there is a chance that one might get more injuries from breaking the glass than the actual emergency.

A typical day at Nible2

My ex-colleague asked me the other day, what exactly does SNAFU mean. I was surprised. It means, Situation Normal, All Fucked Up. This brings me to my typical day at Nible2.

7.00am - Manage to find my cubicle. Thankfully it is still in tack. No sign of further attack by the rats. Starts reading my newspapers and have breakfast. We have a canteen.

8.15am - Officially, we start work. Typically, my laptop refuses to turn on. The damn 'ON' button is busted after much use and it has travelled the world.

8.30am - Computers is OK, but finds out that the bloody network is now busted. Calls MIS for help.

9.00am - Network is running, but Internet DNS is not working. More calls to the MIS.

9.15am - Checks the website. Finds out that the server is dead - ColdFusion error. Another call to MIS.

9.30am - Emails arrive. Lots of offer to buy Viagra. When will they offer cheap gals as well?

10.00am - Finally completes deleting junk mail.

10.15am - Wanted to print something but there's no paper left in the printer. Paper chase begins. Everyone hides their own secret stash of paper. Found out that someone from Purchasing forgot to order paper last week. Bummer.

10.30am - Received some blank faxes, fax machine out of ink.

10.35am - Received presentation file, PowerPoint 2007. I'm on old Office 2003. All the formating is out. Spends time fixing it.

10.45am - Paper jammed in the fax machine. Feels like tossing it out of the window.

10.50am - Stapler is missing. Replacement has not showed up.

11.00am - Wonders what is for lunch. Someone screwed up a customer order. Spend some time fixing the damage. Interrogation begins. What exactly does that customer want?

11.30am - Lunch time. Internet is damn slow.

1.30pm - Back from lunch. Got notice from email server. Attached file was too big. Now, we need to hunt for a FTP server.

1.45pm - Looking for a calculator. Believe it or not, we are asked to share calculators to cut cost. Obviously if anyone had one, they are not about to share it and loose the darn thing for good.

2.00pm - Could not log-in to the FTP server, some bozos changed the password, or deleted our account.

2.30pm - Finally uploaded a file to the FTP server. Another SNAFU. Insufficient stock to fulfill and order. Waiting time is 3 months. Customer pissed. More fire-fighting required.

3.00pm - Sales needs to issue a quotation. No idea what the price is. Unable to provide price, costing is not available. No product specifications either. R&D cannot confirm when product will be ready. Potential customer gets pissed. Sales personnel begins to yell.

3.30pm - Need to do some market research. However, access to a competitor's site has been blocked by MIS - to save bandwidth. Idiots. Calls MIS.

4.00pm - Put out fire on quotation request. Potential customer yells again. He wants a Ferrari for the price of a Ford Pinto. Informs Sales to tell the customer to get ...

4.15pm - Customer sorts of agrees to the price, asks for brochure. What brochure? Immediately starts cooking up a brochure. Or rather I ask someone else to do it. Ensures that it is Booker's Prize material.

4.30pm - Another customer calls up - unable to access FTP server. Server time out. Tells MIS to liaise directly with the customer. Too tired to fight this fire. Decides to update personal blog instead.

4.45pm - HR calls up. Says thay my phone bill is too high, despite all calls are for business. I carry my own personal mobile. What an idiot. If our usage is high, go negotiate with the service provider for better rates. Tells HR to just take back my business phone. Issue will be closed, till the next bill shows up.

4.50pm - HR sends memo to tell us that medical bills are too high. Requested to fall sick less often. HR Director doesn't ask the panel doctors for a discount.

5.00pm - Aircond is switched off, as cost cutting measures. Signals time to pack up.

5.15pm - Office is too warm. Spent entire day fire fighting, none of my work is done. Too warm to work over-time.

5.30pm - Runs off. Goes to gym, keep fit - hoping to bed some pretty gals later. Updates resume later in the evening.

This place is riddled with inefficiencies. At the end of the day, the wonder why the staff is not performing. The answer is easy. We do not have the tools. My laptop is old. Software is outdated. Internet is slow. Air cond is either too cold or too hot. Internet? What internet? Email goes missing. R&D misses deadline and it becomes my problem. Solving Sales problems. At the end of the day, I fail to do my marketing work. And they are still wondering why.

Cost cutting has been the 'in' thing for management around the world, when they should really be focusing on being more efficient.

Holidays in Bali

I am about to leave for New Delhi in an hour, so, a brief post on my holidays to Bali. ChilliLady, you want something from Bali?

As usual, the hotel sold my pre-booked room ( a USD 60 room) to someone else, as I arrived only at 8pm. The good news is, I got to stay in the most expensive room which is just by the sea. It's worth USD 440 per night, but I didn't mind paying USD 60 only. With the USD at an all time low against the Ringgit, I was actually paying peanuts.

The highlight of the trip was dinner at Jimbaran - a fishing village just south of the airport. Extremely romantic setting, excellent and relaxing environment plus good food. To get there from Kuta cost me Indonesian Rupee Rp 150,000 - which is about RM 30. Dinner was Rp 500,000 - abotu RM 175.


A temple by the beach.

This is Jimbaran. It has a lot of restaurants, all with table set up along the beach. Watch the sunset with a cold beer in hand and enjoy dinner listening to the waves. Nothing could be better. Oh yeah, of course I had H next to me.

Sunset at Jimbaran. Relaxing, isn't it?

H and I went to this volcano. Suppose to be still active. Great view of the volcano and its surrounding lakes. Food was only 'so so', nothing much to shout about. But the view... money cannot buy!

That's all for today. I really should pack for my trip to India. As I always say - India, never a dull moment!

Suspicious Characters

More Singapore bashing. I was in the MRT on the way to Geylang, the infamous red light district in Singapore. And there was this announcement which went "If you see anyone suspicious, please report it to the authorities". Could someone please define suspicious?

There are plenty of suspicious people around. I mean, we all need a proper definition right? Should I report everyone? Or someone? And by the way, who exactly was I to call? The announcement was not smart, at best. Unsure what the Singaporean authorities are up to, perhaps just to instill fear.

And, how should the report be made? I mean, heck, if Osama was standing next to me, like hell I am going to pick up my phone, dial 999 and say "Geez, I think a Mr. Osama is next to me." Do I look stupid or as if I have a suicidal wish? Heck, I don't think I would want to piss Mr. Osama off. Am I afraid of him, if he's next to me? Rationally, no. No bombs ever exploded in his presence. But I am not about to piss him off by calling 999. Or what if there is someone in the MRT with a gun, yelling and shouting. Would you call the authorities in his presence?

And on the subject of suspicious characters, here are two on the MRT:

Do click on the image to enlarge it. Firstly, the guy with the Sunkist box. Now, Singapore is a very fashion conscious country. Or rather, very "Kiasu" (afraid to loose, always wants to be the best) place. So, why on earth would a guy walk around town with a box of 'Sunkist' oranges? Even if a Singaporean wanted to buy a box of oranges, they would put carry it around in their LV or Gucci bag. At worst, it would have been a fake LV or a 'Guchi' bag. So, should I report this guy? In addition, he has a pouch strapped to his waist. Very suspicious indeed.

Even more suspicious would be the student, sitting next to the guy with the Sunkist box. He must be in secondary school, in uniform. You noticed? Heck. That guy is actually reading newspapers! Something has gone horribly wrong. Where's his Game Boy? Or MP3 player? Or his Nokia N82? Or he should be checking out babes, like me. Should I report him as well? He is definitely very suspicious.

I can only hope no one reported me to the authorities. I had H in one arm, hugging her. My eyes were busy checking out some hot babes. Singaporean babes do look good. Hot body. Good taste in dressing. Generally, very yummy looking. Hehehe. So, should I be reported for checking out babes (and perhaps drooling...)?

Nett nett, I have not a clue what the announcements are for, but just political propaganda.

Singapore - Samy Vellu is available

I was in Singapore recently, on the way to Bali. Guess what? At the Changi Airport MRT station, the bloody roof there was still leaking. I went... heck, that cannot be true. This is Singapore after all. I thought only Malaysia had leaky roofs in courts, Parliament House and government buildings.

What happened? Did Singapore rejoined Malaysia recently? Someone better sent me a memo on that to update me. Perhaps not. Since Border Control was still working, Singapore must be "independent".

Being Singapore, they had a little more finesse in dealing with leaks. Trays specially lined with sponge to absorb the water and nicely placed yellow hazard signs to advertise the leak. Perhaps they are subtly saying... "Malaysia, Singapore can leak too!". Being kiasu Singaporeans, they may not want to be left out in the leak race.

To my best memory, the roof has been leaking at this Changi Airport MRT station for at least two years. When I was there back in 2005, the darn thing was leaking. It is still now. Look at the first picture. The sponge has a 'hole' in it. It must be the wear and tear from all the dripping water. So, this confirms it, the leak is permanent.

This brings me a bright idea. Samy Vellu was our former Works Minister. He was the chap who fixed (temporary) all the leaks. He did a great job at it. It sure did leak, but he had a solution. Now that he has been voted out by the rakyat (maybe we felt that he was creating the leaks to fix them later as job security), Singapore can have him. Isn't that great or what? He can fix the leaks. He will be employed. And Malaysia gets rid of one big pain in the ass. It's win win for all.

Do you want your leaky MRT station dry? Do you want to give visitors a good impression? How about a world class airport sans leaks? Give it a try. Call 1800-SAMY now for a free, no obligation quotation!

Now, I can hear someone asking me "Can you please look out of your window. What's the colour of your sky? In our planet, it's blue."

MP Longkang

Big news on The Star, a government controlled newspapers. Member of Parliament (MP), Azlina Othman, who is now the Minister for Tourism is busy cleaning up some garbage. This is the classical MP Longkang - or Drain MP.

In the past, the rakyat (citizens) used to be very happy when their MP could get the town councils to clean the drain. But heck, the year is 2008 and MP Longkangs are now obsolete. Most of the MP Longkangs lost their pants during the last general elections. Guess what? Someone forgot to send a memo to Azlina to tell her not to be a MP Longkang or Minister Longkang.

Can you believe it? Your MP or Minister is busy cleaning up some garbage, when clearly that's someone's job scope? This is a similar problem in Nible2. Engineers love to do the job of a technician. The technicians will end up doing a operator's work. The managers? Of course, they will be doing the engineers work. Who's the manager then? It's call no management. Nothing new here.

Some say I am mean, but I think I am being very fair. I keep telling my staff. If they (executive staff, such as Marketing Executives) are caught doing administrative work (such as being a typist for the week), I will ask Nible2 to only pay them what a typist is worth. I don't deny that the statement can be mean, but hey, do your job.

My HR manager is another idiot. He prefers hiring managers, with the rational that managers can do the job of the executives. He doesn't like to hire executives because they can only work as executives. So, Nible2 ends up with tonnes of managers without any executives. I once told that idiot, why don't he fires all the cleaners in Nible2? That will save some money. After all, managers can clean toilet.

At times like this, I really feel like asking them. "Can you please look out of your window and tell me what's the colour of your sky? In my planet, it's blue."

MP Longkang Azlina hard at work. She is no more than a grossly overpaid drain cleaner. Of course, this joke of the day was proudly brought to you by Barisan National, picture from http://www.thestar.com.my/.

Who Said Malaysians Do No Read

I was in Time Square recently, and I was rather proud to see fellow Malaysians enjoying a book or two.



This chap was fast asleep, but to the very least he was not snooring.

This chap was definately reading, but he is getting way to comfy - removing his shoes. At least it didn't smell - from where I was sitting!

Drilling

Just came back from me holidays in Bali with H. That was fun, involved a lot of 'drilling', if you get what I mean.

Last Tuesday, I got more drilling than I've bargained for. Meet up with the 19 year old virgin, who asked me to do her. Well, I did meet up with her, and yes, there was a lot drilling involved in the end, but it wasn't the kind I had in mind. For one reason or another, the 19-year old got cold feet and didn't want sex. I respected that.

So, what the heck was I to do with the rest of the day off? There was a nagging problem which I have been putting off for sometime, so, I've decided to tackle it head on today. I was feeling brave (or some could say stupid). I went to the dentist.

One tooth, was giving me hell occasionally, especially when food was stuck in it. I suspected it was my wisdom tooth. It has been in pain on and off for the last few months. So, today, I visited my 3rd dentist for the same problem.

This dentist was very professional and found out that I had a severe tooth decay - the tooth just in front of the wisdom tooth. Darn. Root canal was required - I didn't want to loose a tooth just yet. So, I needed up being drilled, by a male dentist, for about two hours. Bloody hell. How sexy could that be? It was definitely not what I had in mind when I met up with the virgin earlier.

The nurse? Forget her. I nearly yelled at her - I had to take the X-ray three times because she was using the wrong solution to develop the film. Think I could glow in the dark now.

The bright side is, no more pain, but I am due for more drilling - by the bloody dentist that is. Sigh.