The SOPs for Negotiations

Perhaps some of us have seen the little documentary by Global Witness. Yet another Alvin has been exposed on 'film'. This time, of course, it is Alvin Chong. We have no clue if what he said is true, or if it is just an act. 

However, it is very important, to get the SOPs right. In Malaysia, nobody seems to want to follow Standard Operating Procedures. We want to cut corners. We want to "act smart" or be boastful. "See, I do not have to follow rules". That's seems to be on most of our minds. 

So, what exactly is the SOP? I learn this years ago, in Thailand. Over there, the Thais, seem to have some SOP. Especially to important matters like negotiating a "not too legal" deal. 

The SOP is as follows:

1. Select a spa. Prefer places which prohibits firearms. (This is, after all, Thailand).
2. Get some pretty gals.
3. Talk business in the spa. With the pretty gals. 

Why? Firstly, the girls are just for eye-candy. More on this later. They won't understand much English, so - whatever eff you are discussing, it will be safe.

But item 3 is the all important. To be in the spa (sauna or a pool of water), one has to be naked. Or half naked. This means no hidden cameras, weapons or whatever else the other party might do to "leverage" on for the negotiations.

The other benefit is, Item 3 again. It is a place with tonnes of water. Electronics will fail. Unless your firearm is water resistant (no, I don't mean your personal pistol), it won't be much use either.  

Even in the event of a water resistant camera - think of all the steam, water bubbles. The image will be no better than a "Anwar-look-alike" porn movie. Plus the noise (better if it is a jacuzzi) - you can always deny if it sounds like you. Mind you, added with the very dim interior lights - only infra-red cameras would work. But those buggers aren't exactly small.

The girls are a distraction. For the untrained negotiator, he would be busy with the girls. Or pay too much attention to the gals. Which is good - if it helps him agree to things faster than he would (when he is using his big head). If that fails, you can try alcohol.

Item 3 also ensure that there isn't any pesky cell phones to disrupt the negotiations.

As I have presented, there are many many benefits to carry out an negotiation in a spa. So, please use this as a SOP. Don't sit on a couch. Don't become the next Lingam. 

Oh. Back to the girls. The Thai bosses won't want too much to do with the gals. If they wanted something intimate, they will choose the girls from the cover girls of the latest magazines. That provides some exclusive fun, getting the 'newest' girls and of course, they can say "She is my minor wife - pretty right?". So yeah - they don't exactly get intimate with the girls in a spa or a bar. Those are unfortunately, for some silly visitors / farangs.

Talent

Nice to watch. She is sure creative. And yeah, hot body too.

For a change, it isn't some hardcore porn with zero talent, or some 18-year-old-kid with wide eyes and a duck face.

More jokes

And while waiting for a meeting...

Relax.... look what I found instead of working :)

 Talent. This is showing off in style. Something I like instead of the usual boobs and duck-face.

And more blame

Recently, a retired politician commented that uncontrolled internet is horrible. It is blamed for rape. People writing articles with no managers provide direction, no editors to check. 

First rebuttal - given the track record of Utusan Malaysia, it doesn't look like their editors nor managers are doing a fantastic job. They have lost case after case when sued for defamation. Some settled out of court. Most ended up with a huge "apology". The fact that managers and editors are good - well, that's untrue. They could be good in being 'yes' men. Truth will still be the victim.

Then, this politician goes on. Rape, sexual crime will all increase due to porn. My rebuttal: if they watch enough porn and masturbate like a wild baboon, they won't be able to rape anyone. But on a more serious note:

• Since most rapist have a penis, are we going to say penis is causing rape and it should be removed?
• If people was so easily influenced, how come students still fail? They have good teachers, and good fellow students. But some will still fail. Why? According to his logic, they must all pass. Else, the teachers or other students must be lousy. But some will excel. Some will fail. Why?
• If it was that easy, why send your kids to university. Just lock them in a room with tonnes of law books - they will come out as a lawyer. No?

Last time, we blame tv shows, books, concerts, radio, advertisements, ciggies, bad company, .... this list goes on. And on. We tend to blame everything, but ourselves. And to think about it, this piece is now coming from a former leader of the country. How terrible.

So, if I were to stay in a temple, do you really think I will stop bonking? I better not mess up a place of worship. If the internet has tonnes of research paper, and idiots end up with porn only, what else can we say? Blame the internet? Censor it? Babysit them?

And no matter how we censor, babysit, clamp down, idiots will be idiots. They will buy hamsap DVDs, make their own porn, rape their daughters. There is no end. The point is, idiots will be idiots. Don't blame the internet. Don't blame the rapper or some rock stars.

It reminds me too much of the "I raped her because she looked so sexy". Oh really? What about "I punched him because he looked like an idiot"?

Smartphones - not smart callers

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Just for fun.

 

 Just kidding. This is politically so wrong. I don't discriminate against anyone.

 We ought to make a few tonnes of these.

 

Unfortunately, this one - the joke is on us.

 

True?

 

I say, we will still cup it. :)

Next to a place of worship

It was during CNY, and someone commented "You are not a Muslim, of course you won't want to stay next to a mosque". 

What the eff? Firstly, how many of us has done a survey to ask if a Muslim wants to stay next to a mosque. 

Anyway, back to something close to home, I asked him "What makes you think I want to stay next to a temple?". I asked him to drive by a temple during CNY. It's very busy. Crowded. Cars parked everywhere. Full of smoke. More dust. Even more sooth and amber flying around. And I don't mean Amber Chia. 

I know of a few pretty young gals in Jenjarom. Yup - that's where the Fu Guang Shan temple is. (More like a park for money-making then a temple). For 15 days during CNY, the place would be badly jammed, every evening right till 12am or so. It would be a long queue just to turn into Jenjarom. You think those lengluis want to stay near the temple? I don't think so. They complain, openly, till no end. (That's when I offer them to stay in my spare room) We all wonder how on earth was the permit approved to bill such a huge temple sans proper roads or parking. At night, cars would park in front of their gates. The solution? They block their gates with their cars first before others do it to them. 

The only part that makes them less frustrated is, their brothers (and some of the girls too) would be smart enough and hardworking enough to open a small stall near the temple. Drinks, torch lights, handheld lamps - they all make a killing up to a few hundred ringgit per night. 

And schools. Who wants to stay right next to a school. I don't care if it is a Chinese, Malay, Kebangsaan, Tamil, Convent or co-ed school. It's all the same bunch of monkeys, as far as I can remember. I have had people ask me, "But what is wrong staying next to a school". Here's what's wrong - without prejudice to myself and no implication on my school days:

• In the days without autogates, padlocks were common. Students could take a padlock (which is unlocked and left hanging on the gate) and lock it on another house down the street.
• Flat tires, scratched cars, bent windscreen wipers - just to name a few.
• All of a sudden, some bastards would start a rock throwing contest - and someone would end up with broken tiles, windows. The objective can be hit a mango on a tree, but sometimes - students forget there is a house right behind the tree. It's seldom students throw rocks just to damage a window. No fun in that.
• No end to garbage by the road side.
• Stuffed banana in exhaust pipe of cars (especially when we - I mean, students, know that the driver is a cute lady).
• Stolen shoes, sandals, newspapers, mail (the era before email). Usually, it is 'stolen' by transferring them from one house to another house. I mean, how many pair of shoes would we want?
• Fireworks (This was an all-year affair. Students would purchase and keep fireworks - only to use it when no one expects it. The fun is in the element of surprise).
• Make a guess what these are for: Fireworks and mosquito coil. 
• Put a full can of soda under the tyre of a car. Sit and wait.
• Mud slinging contest. Sometimes, it is a pissing contest. You get the idea.
• Endless graffiti - and not the very artistic ones. It usually starts with the alphabet 'F'.
• Very loud and colourful swearing and cursing
• Randomly turning off the main water valve into the houses.
• Disturbing dogs; lastik at cats (we - I mean the students never seem to be able to hit those buggers). Don't worry - no pussies were hurt.
• Hurling textbooks, shoes, underwear, or perhaps the whole school bag into the garden of the bungalow with the meanest looking dog. Usually, that's how we dispose of lost and found items. Actually, just lost - never the found part.

Those were the days without a digital camera. Imagine what would be on our facebook pages. Then again, I never see such posting on facebook. At most, it is just plain bullying. Maybe technology has killed all the fun in growing up.

Gold fish massage, Sunway Mentari

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A good massage in PJ

To be honest, I cannot even remember when I first started to see Siow Hong. That was when her workplace was in USJ 9. To side track: That place in USJ 9 is open again, but the massage is terrible. Unsure if there are extras, but I am not interested. Could be my luck I ended up with a lousy ML.

Then, her workplace (and her) moved to SS2. Now, they have just relocated to SS1. (I think. I only know how to get there).

I liked her massage. No hanky-panky. And she knows exactly where to press harder, where it tickles me and what I enjoy. The end result, I usually end up asleep and I suspect - snoring. When I first went to her, I use to strip naked, which is SOP for most MP. Then, I found out - not this one. She never said anything. 

Somehow, we get 'close' to each other. Sometimes, I would hug her around the waist as we walked upstairs. No, she doesn't make those tantalizing feather touch, or fingernail touches on my body. It's all strictly massage. She does talk to me, but more often that not, my answer is "Cannot understand". Banana. What else can I say?

The other real plus point about her is, she never asks for tips I do tip her RM 20. She is happy. Sometimes, when I do not have change, she tells me it's OK. Don't worry about it. Sometimes, I tease her about introducing her sexy colleagues to me (one of them has a good pair of assets). She would say no. I could go to other massage centres, but at this one - she wants me exclusively. To be honest, I really don't think I want to try other ML. Some of them - would be utter torture. ("Why you never ask for me earlier? Now, let me torture you....poke harder"). I rather the one I know, and I can relax till I snore.

Being CNY, I went out with her for lunch. Just nearby hawker centre - as she was short of time. Mind you, they work every day except CNY and Hari Raya. You got to feel sorry for them. I won't fault the boss, as the ML would also want to earn as much as possible. 

So, for the first time, I saw her out of her 'uniform'. Never knew she had such long and sexy legs. I knew she was slim. And no, let's not complicate things. Keep it as it is. 

What H Does

Do I cheat? Well, I hereby present some facts to you about H.

- She went for a holiday with some friends, male and female.
- It was Thailand.
- After the trip, she came back sore. Sore at the back, sore in front. She had to sleep sideways.
- But she still had that wicked smile when I help her get out of bed in the morning.

So, what do you think?

Hamsap BBBJ at Sunway

It was just after CNY, and a friend of mine wanted a tour of Sunway Mentari. Let's just say it was only for one purpose - a hamsap tour. So, off we went to Sunway Mentari. 

The name of the place is Forbidden City, Sunway Mentari. Don't ask me how to get there - it's bloody complicated and secretive. Mind you - it was still raided a couple of times. I am unsure if it is a "payday" raid or 'wayang' raid. Payday raids - raids organized by the owners to get rid of the girls, when its close to payday for the girls.

Plenty of girls there, it could have been an ASEAN meeting. My friend took a tall Viet gal with big boobs - but I suspect (later he confirmed it), it was enhanced. Some gals were using the double-bra trick. Wear two bras to make it look bigger. I didn't go for a massage - I just sat there. OK, that's a lie. I didn't just sit there. My hands were all over the girls. They were trying hard to seduce me. Or rather get into my wallet. It wasn't expensive - RM 90 (normal rate of RM 80) for an hour of 'massage'. 

His report: First words, not real. I mean, of course la. It's very very seldom you see a slim, tall gal with such big boobs. And, they look too firm. She offered him a FJ - RM 100. Apparently, it was fake moan, and she wasn't really wet. BBBJ was good, but for a short while. I mean, what can we expect? Your gf meh? There was no massage ("oh bugger"). 

Another down side to this place: There is only one or two toilets but tonnes of customers. There would be a queue outside just to wash up before and after the happy-ending. Again, not something I like. Feels like a cow herd and we are being 'milked'. 

One very worrying observation. I saw a few very young guys - could have been students at a nearby college. This is where I did some serious thinking. Why would young guys come to such places? Hey - go learn how to have a relationship. A real and meaningful one. Don't get addicted to plain sex. It's easy and can be nice, but you don't learn too much. Worse still, they might treat their future / current girlfriends like a MP gal. That's terrible. So, for those young guys out there - please go after some pretty, young, sexy chicks in your college. I can understand when some old ah-peks is already with a wife with 5 kids, but again- please don't cheat la. 

I don't like the SOP strip-and-fuck type of action. I prefer mine with lots of passion, foreplay and warm. That's why I didn't go for a 'massage'

The part I enjoyed most: Driving around with no traffic and plenty of parking. Sometimes, it's the simple things in life that we miss. No need some hamsap wife-swapping or sexy fuckbuddies in bed.

Good boss

What exactly is a good boss? Simple. A good boss is one who helps you develop your career and to help all earn a healthy salary.

Does your boss do the following:

1. Priority is for you to learn, via training, books, hands-on
2. Find ways to help you work faster, more efficiently. (Asks you, what can he do to make you work more efficiently?)
3. Place is in order, SOPs and WIs are in place. Everyone knows what to do instead of running around like headless chickens.
4. Wants place to be excellent, and uses best practices from industry. (Open tender, doesn't sleep with vendors, follows 
5. Resolves conflicts
6. Provides clear direction, as oppose to "I think that is what we should do...". And comes tomorrow "But that is not what I meant...." Celaka. 
7. Asks for input, but he decides.
8. Makes decision  Some bloody bosses sit on it forever. I hate those.The worst decision is no decision  for a wrong decision can be corrected.
9. Have a disaster recovery plan. How often do we hear - oh shit, the internet is down. Why not just put a back-up internet line? Especially when we depend on it to make money.
10. Have a succession plan.
11. Internally promote staff. Prepare staff (the willing and able ones) for promotion
12. Able to deal with shit face-to-face. Identify dead-wood, trouble makers and fire them. Yes, why keep bad apples and make the whole place stink?
13. Have balls. (I don't mean physically. Must be brave enough to act without fear nor favour).
14. Honest and with integrity.
15. Yells occasionally but with reason.

I do #1 and #2 very often. Whenever I am free, I would sit (or lie down....now, let's not go what else I was doing while lying down) and think. How can I make it easier for people to work? Do they need a new laptop? Hire a office boy or some clerk? Give them a better phone? Revise procedures and make it less tedious? Get new software to automate process?

Yes, I am guilty of #15 too. I should yell a lot less, but for some fucked up reason, engineers think their reports can be a work of fiction. I yell alot less nowadays - as I use #12. The yelling was when I had zero authority to choose who is in my team, and invariable I get some assholes added to my team.

Am I a good boss? I don't think so. Too much #15 still, and I don't make enough to pay everyone very well.

Bad Boss

Like it or not, there is such a thing as a terrible or horrible boss. Well, this post shall not talk about the obviously bad bosses. The obvious ones are:

• Sex maniacs, harass staff in the office
• Provides unsafe workplaces
• The list goes on, but I am here to talk about the not-obvious ones.

Firstly, what is a bad boss? Here's my take on a bad boss:

• Doesn't care about improvement of staff. The boss can be the friendliest, most 'caring', nice, gentlemen - but you learn absolutely nothing, do nothing that can be construed as an achievement for your next job interview, no training. On the contrary, some bosses yell at their workers all day long, but at the end of the day, the workers can move on and get a better job. No doubt they yell, but the workers actually learn something. Mind you - if you want a 'nice' boss, someone to talk to - please get a lover or a fuckbuddy. We are talking about your career here.
• Doesn't pay attention to staff. By this, I mean - the boss will promise a lot, say yes - but alas, doesn't do anything but gently brushes it aside (called "Tai Chi") to 'problems from higher authority", "disasters to handle", "Overlooked", "Overworked". If you cannot handle all "those", please stop being a boss.
• Very happy and cheerful environment, but the place is a time-bomb. A quick check: Does the place have an updated set of SOP? If someone leaves, what happens? SOPs are for a place to function well, so everyone knows what to do. What if he leaves? Oh please, don't think your 'best boss' will be there forever.
• Influenced by rumors.
• Taking sides during fights. For me, I would ask the two idiots to resolve it on their own, failing which, I would expect two resignation letters. Never create a winner. If there is a winner from each fight, there will be more fights. Hey - after all, we are adults. So, please stop the "Mummy, he hit me first" shit in the office. If you are above 18 years old, want to play mummy, I suggest you hire a dominatrix at your own free time for her to spank you. 
• Does what is popular rather than what is good for the business.
• Focus on department instead of business or profit for the company.
• Zero strategy. Keep in mind, a strategy is not the same as planning. The worst are without a plan. Some have a plan, but still no strategy. Example of a strategy: How to finish off the competition in business.

But, why are bad bosses so damaging. I think, they are worse than the obvious-bad-bosses. Why? When they are obviously bad, we will happily move on, get another job. The bad bosses make it fun, enough to keep everyone comfortable. It's like putting a frog in cold water, then light a flame under the pot. (note - no frogs were hurt in this blog). Chances are, it's so comfortable you won't even know you are cooked.

Then comes one fine day - you get fired or decide to leave when you realized your salary isn't going anywhere fast. You are past 35 years old. A cute 22-year-old chick is sexier and is asking for RM 2500 only. You wish to have RM 8000, but you lack the skills. Or with outdated skills. Heck, the 22-year-old might even type faster. This is when real trouble starts. 

Q: "What did you achieve in your previous job?". 

Answer " Ummm....ahhhh..... ummmm, I maintained the UNIX Server". 

Interviewer: " But we are using Windows since 1997. Thank you for your time, we will contact you shortly"

An example of a terrible boss is the character Gil Grissom of CSI Las Vegas. Here's why:

• Never trained a successor, no succession planning. One fine day, he happily left the entire team in limbo. 
• Heck, he even left his wife, Sara Sidle. 
• Having a secret relationship with Sara when he was an immediate superior. He did not disclose this to department either. Sounds familiar? If you must eat and shit, don't do it in the same place.
• Fails to complete paperwork on time.
• Friendly and nice to everyone. 
• Doesn't spend too much time on training for staff. Instead, he usually gives that "How come you don't-know" look.
• Thinks he is the smartest.
• Doesn't pay attention when others talk. 
• No planning, no strategy (caused an intern to be killed). 
• He was a tai-chi master too, always assigning the shit jobs to his subordinates.
• But everyone misses him!

Bonus time - or the lack of it...

Well, it's the open season again - as far as jobs are concerned. Hunting for new employees, hunting for new jobs. 

Alas, I get the usual complains - bad bonus. Only one month bonus when I did 30% of the sales. Frankly, what do you expect? 6 months? If you were the boss - how much would you give. Not to side bosses, some bosses are just assholes. Employees too. It takes two to tango,.

On one hand, business is bad. Overheads are ever increasing. I know of many businesses suffering. Some cook the books to look good. Others go bust. 

But, please be smart. Here are some tips:

1. Get rid of your coffee mug / tea cup. Never be seen in the office with it.
2. Always carry files and folders or a logbook.
3. Put some thick files on table to give the "very busy" illusion.
4. Take leave (half days) in the  middle of the week. This gives the illusion you are going for interviews. Hope your boss won't take you for granted.
5. Create resume for your co-workers, print them - and leave it at the printer. Make sure they do not log who printed it.
6. Print your own resume, and leave it at the printer, then partially visible on your desk. 
7. Inject rumours (so-and-so resigning), etc - to the known kepo person of the office. Rumours of so-and-so is dying, having an affair, will be fired by boss, etc. How does his help you? It takes the spot-light away from you - hence no one will notice your mistakes / or too busy to give you more work. The so-and-so is dying isn't a lie. Everyone is dying... it's just that some might take 50 years from today.
8. At all cost, avoid visiting your boss's office / room. Nothing good can come out of that. 
9. Stay late - and enjoy the free internet. That's if you think you can get a better bonus. If not, run off at 5.30pm sharp. 
10. Get a new phone - one with the dumbest features - calls and SMS only. Generally, only very bad news come via the phone - so, why would you torture yourself with the most expensive and efficient torture device? Why check email when you are enjoying a hamsap massage? Doesn't make any sense. Better still, install a ringtone is real soft. 
11. Get a private phone number. Only for your own use (including or excluding hamsap activities, that would be your call).
12. Post some Craiglist or Adult Friend Finder entries for the office bitch / bastard. But ensure you cannot be traced. This is to ensure the bitch / bastard is busy answering hamsap calls instead of harassing you.
13. If you complete work early, write the email early BUT do NOT send it out. Leave it in your laptop. Then, send it out at 10.30pm. Geeks will be able to write a software to send it out at a designated time. If you send it out at 4.30pm, your boss will read it. Reject it. And you end up working till 10pm fixing the 'errors'.
14. Start your own business. That's a better way to ensure more income.

Hamsap Massage in Ipoh / Ipoh Garden

So, there I was - I observed a couple of shops in Ipoh Garden - all with the same kind of sign boards. A LED "Welcome" sign display, with the word "SEWA" (rent). And the word "PUSH" on the door. No signboards. Nothing. I have seen some guys entering. 

But that was it. No more, no less. Google didn't provide any clues. What were in these places? Hamsap massages? B2B? Or was it something fun. 

Alas - curiousity got the better of me. I did enter one of these shop. I was sure hoping for something fun and sexy. But my imaginative mind has failed me. It's a bunch of PCs. And a very smokey environment. What was it? I am not entirely sure, but I am sure it is not what I want. I made a hasty exit - and that was the end of my curiosity for these "SEWA" locations.

And according to the local KPC (busybody), there is a house along Jalan Johor in Ipoh, housing as many as 12 China dolls. Based on two of the dolls I happen to chance upon, the KPC's description is dead accurate. Very young. Very good looking. Tall, slim, slender. Nice assets. Very fair. I am unsure if they accept walk in business. According to the local gossip, the gals are the mistress type. In the evening, many guys in very expensive cars would come pick them up. One per car - so, it does not appear to be pimps.

For whatever reasons, their neighbour is not happy with such tenants. (I could understand why - some might be drunk late at nite, jealous wife might show up and start fighting, etc) The police could do nothing - they have student's visa. I offered my solution. Easy - just photograph the cars. Collect lots of it. Then, publish it la. When the clients do not show up, the supply will disappear. 

And lastly: Robin Spa is a popular place for girls. It's a fuck-shop. Unsure what selection they have now. But opposite Robin Spa, there are some massage parlours - including a Gold Finger. Quite a selection there, although not the best of the best. Some are young. Some are tall. Pretty too. 

But the place is a bit dated. It seems that in Ipoh, these fuck-shops operate at the same location for ages. It must have been since 1960 or 1970s. Good thing the girls are new. And that's about the only thing new in these shops. Not bad if you are curious or want a quickie. Nothing more.

Sex and dating sites

Time and again, I hear it from girls (usually): Oh - these dating sites - are a waste of time. I just get tonnes of guys who asks for sex.

Let it be clear. I do not condone such bad behaviour. Neither do I blame it on how one presents herself (I do not believe it...she got rape because she dressed like a slut. I am 100% against these type of argument).

And guys - what on earth makes you think sending an email "Hey - wanna have sex tonight" to a stranger, online will work? If it was that easy....

I know, some guys would say - maybe she is shy and horny. To these guys, here's a quick update on the real world:

1. Vibrators are available in all shapes are sizes.
2. Girls masturbate too. They don't need guys that badly.
3. Gals can learn from porn too.
4. Gals can get easily picked up from clubs / bars / social scene. If they were that horny - they won't be in front of their computer.
5. You have to be nice to a girl first before you get laid good. Even if she was working professionally, if you treat her like dirt, you won't get the best out of her.

Yes, I do have fuckbuddies from online friends. But trust me, it isn't just "Wanna fuck?" kind of email. Talk to her. Chat with her. Flirt with her. She will lay you, once she knows you are more than just a vibrator on legs. What more - don't ask this stupid question on a dating website. Try adultfriendfinder or something like that.

And now, for the girls. Again, as I have stated, I do not blame the girls on this. But please, try to understand that there are two sides to a coin. Take note of how you present yourself. Oh sure - if you dress sexily, it doesn't mean you want to lay any guy. I understand and agree with that. But... what is your impression given these two situation:

• A guy walks into a room with his pistol fully loaded and cocked? (no pun intended)
• Someone walks in with two huge bazookas aimed at your face, point blank?

So girls, isn't first impression important? 

Freedom of Religion in Malaysia

I will blog about my experience, and yes - I do find a lack of freedom. Firstly, I am not a Muslim. Some would think - that means, I am free. But that's not true. In forms, if I leave my religion blank, some clowns will happily help me mark "Buddhism". They just assume any and every Ah Lian, Ah Kow and Ah Beng would be a Buddhist. 

Here's my complain. Why can't I have the freedom not to have a religion. Or at least, put Taoism there. But no, they happily classify every Ah Beng as a Buddhist.

The thing is, I have respect for all religions. I really don't think I am a Buddhist at all. I sleep around. I drink a little. Buddhist cannot drink (Alcohol laaa) at all. Neither are Buddhist allowed to be attached to this material world. I am addicted to good sex; yells when my bloody laptop fails.  Curse at traffic. Flirt shamelessly. Eat after 12pm (yup - monks do not eat after noon). If internet is down, TM would be at the receiving end. Needs a handphone. Won't travel without a car.

And to be clear, neither would I make a good Taoist. (I cannot remember all the festivals for Goddess of Mercy, when the 1st and 15th day of the lunar calender. Heck, I don't even know which month it is in the lunar calender). I am not a Christian, nor a Hindu either. I am just human - with some sins and of course, I do some good deeds too.

And most Ah Bengs would even gamble, but yet classified as Buddhist. Buddhist cannot cause suffering - hence a vegetarian diet is called for. I love steak - rare, plaese. I have listened to a Buddhist monk's teaching: even for vegetables - please eat in moderation. The reason: It takes resources to plant vege. This means, if we consume a lot, more wild life would be displaced and that would cause suffering. Yup - suffering to animals are frowned upon by a true Buddhist.

So, please - let us have a freedom from religion. For now at least - maybe when I get older I would be a better Buddhist / Taoist. I personally think I give Buddhism a bad name. Then again, that should be between God and me, not for some official documents.

If you think Singapore is better....

Remember Alvin? The one with Vivian, and her blowjob / adult movies? Yup, that's the one.

Before I go further, I must state this. I have nothing against Singapore or NUS. But let facts be facts.

Fact:
NUS has terminated the sex blogger's scholarship.
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/sex-blogger-alvin-tans-scholarship-terminated-20121112

Fact:
There has been public uproar on the sex blogs. Vivian has been at the receiving end of it (no pun intended), and I do feel sorry for her parents. 
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/8/nation/12289711&sec=nation

A little known fact:

This guy, is a Nazi supported. And all the uproar is about sex videos? This is the part I cannot understand. Shouldn't the uni kick him out for being a nazi supporter? This is a war-loving racist group that has killed millions and bombed the heck out of Europe. In Germany, this fellow would be thrown in jail. 

So, here we are. All hoity-toity that with our Asian values - cannot talk about sex as it is taboo. But we forget the more crucial elements - racism and plain murder. Those seem to be well tolerated. 

I cannot believe that NUS has acted on publicity (by the press) pressure - and not truly investigate what was going on. And Malaysians? I don't think have the clowns here even understand "Neo Nazi". They probably think it is related to The Matrix.

PS: Why are Asians so crazy about sex? And keep acting that sex is so taboo and it's such a dirty thing?

Malaysians Top Workaholic

Apparently, Malaysians are one of the top workaholics of the world. (Or "forth most dedicated work force)

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/11/20/nation/12342446&sec=nation

I didn't know how to react. Shocked. Nearly fell off my chair. Angry. Dedicated my ass. Fact. This blog, has the highest hit on Mondays and Tuesdays. Lowest on Saturday and Sunday. Same with my facebook wall - least activities on weekends. Only a few sorry asses would be online for the weekend, updating Facebook statuses and blogging (yours sincerely included).

Dedicated? Dedicated to using office time, office infrastructure to surf the net for personal pleasures - that I believe. Half of the readers are planning (this is real good planning, by the way) where to get a hamsap massage after work. Oh come on, just admit it.

From my experience, here's what we are really dedicated to (in random order):

1. Nasi lemak breaks (aiyoo...I put on 3kg already, must start dieting - while stuffing themselves with nasi lemak / curry puffs)
2. Coffee breaks
3. Ciggie break (doesn't matter if you smoked or not.) ... "aiyoo - must eat organic food - else can get cancer."*
4. Gossipping
5. Facebook / Tweet
6. Run own online shop
7. Blogging (of course, the majority of these lazy buggers would just be reading a blog, but hey - that's reading too).
8. Surf porn
9. Plan for after work activities / plan for next weekend
10. Plan for next big shopping when pay check is out
11. Online shopping
12. MSN / ICQ / Google Chat / Skype / Whatsapp
13. Read online newspapers / gutteruncensored.com / fmylife.com
14. Show off new handbag / new bf / new hair-do / new car / new app / new phone. 
15. Check clock ("Aiyoo...still another 2 minutes to lunch.")
16. Take long lunches.
17. "Visit clients" (This is another fact - the bloody massage parlours, kosher and non-kosher included, are most busy at 4pm, workdays. Weekends, they are damn free).
18. Falling asleep on desk / toilet / car 
19. Quickie with sexytary / colleague; Playing footsie during meetings
20. Check-out new accounts clerk / gatal factory worker / handsome boss / young engineer
21. Tai chi work to others (usually this is the first item on their to do list)
22. Blame-storming; not to be confused with brainstorming
23. Gossip / Stir up shit
24. Gossip / Stir up shit
25. Gossip / stir up more shit

But not is all lost. This is a FACT: Employees are good actors, pretending to overwork badly. Another FACT: Employers pretend that they know their workers are dedicated, and do nothing about it. 

So, it's the year end now. To the very least, please refrain from asking "Why no bonus". If it was me, I would have fired your sorry ass a long time ago. And what pisses me off is, some young buggers would say "I want work - life balance". Read it again : Work - life balance. Work comes first, ok? Stupid buggers.

* This is a true story. I know of one smoker. Keep telling us to eat healthy, remove chlorine from water.... while happily smoking away.