Pimp Myself

So, here I am, trying to pimp myself - together with my friend, Eric. Two guys, interested in fucking gals, and we are more than happy to do a threesome. So, any gals out there interested in trying it with two really hamsap guys. Imagine, both your nipples being licked together. One guy sucking on your clit, while another rims you. A cock for you to suck on while one pounds your pussy... hard. If one guy tires, another guy takes over and fucks you hard. If you are really kinky, we could do a dp - double penetration. One guy in front, one at the back.... oh my.

Seriously, we are in Subang Jaya area and Johor Baru. No strings attached, but possible long term fuckbuddy arrangement. Do drop me a comments - all comments appear as private message to me and I will not publish your personal details. We will be discrete. Just don't yell too loudly when we are servicing you. Hahaha.

It's Raya

Once again, it is Raya and Salam Eid to all.

The good thing about raya, besides food, would be hot pussies. Let me explain further. I have some bloody annoying cats (stray or otherwise) that has their macho contest right outside my room - in a side lane. They are not my pussies, but they do keep me awake at night. They know darn well that I cannot get them. Not afraid of water either. So, what's my solution? Hot Pussies!

Years back, I got a water gun, albeit not the powerful type, fill it up with vinegar and spray them. The end results - sour pussies. Hahaha. Pun intended. Cats hate vinegar and when they try to lick it off, the look of sour pussies are worthless. Alas, it is a bit too troublesome to get up in the middle of the night to reload my gun. Ahem... What more, vinegar is kindda messy.

Then, someone suggested 'pop pop', a kind of fireworks. It is some encapsulated gunpowder - and when subjected to impact - such as being thrown to the ground, it pops. Popping pussies are fun. They do run at the sharp and loud noise, but there is a limited range on how far I can throw them.

Being Raya, I manage to get some more powerful fireworks. Light it, throw it, and it goes bang. That kind of fireworks. Range is the same as pop pop (relies on me throwing it), but it goes out with a bigger bang. Banging pussies are more fun.

Lastly, I got some moon travellers aka rockets. They fly for about 20 meters before going 'bang'. A flying pussy might well be fun.

Not to worry - no cats were hurt or will be hurt - just some excited pussies jumping around. I just want some sleep. After all, cats are bloody smart. If they know the object will explode, they keep away. Not easy to get pussies.

Singaporean Weather Report

Anyone paid attention to the Singaporean Weather report / forecast? I did so on ... I was watching some Singaporean channel and the news was on. No, it didn't take a naked news presenter to get my attention.

Here's what's weird. They spend heaps of time reporting the weather in Singapore. After all, how big would Singapore be? Then, there was the international weather report - including far away places like London. How much can the weather vary in Singapore? And isn't it true that there will be more Singaporeans in Melaka or Johor?

I would think that the Singaporean Government would do their citizens a favour by providing *useful* information? I think the report on Johor Baru, Melaka would be very useful, especially during the weekend.

F1 - What the eff?

Wow! Malaysia will field a F1 team. Can you imagine, in football, we rank worse than Yemen and some other third world countries. Maybe our footballers can be retrained to be F1 drivers. Trust me - that might be no different from the F1 drivers that the powers-to-be has selected.

On another note, I am in a full holiday mood now. Too darn lazy to have any work done. Yes, it is Raya and it is time to eat and sleep. Spend some time with my friends-with-benefits. And more time doing gardening. Sigh. Need to wash my car badly too...

15Malaysia

While I have enjoyed various 15Malaysia videos -you know what is ironic? It uses the .com domain. It wouldn't even use the .com.my domain name....well - that's so much for being proud to be Malaysian!

Hard Wood Massage

This could have been the hard-on massage instead of Hard Wood Massage. Around the corner from Souled Out, above the hardware shop, Hard Wood massage certainly gives more than just hard-ons. Now, this massage place is extremely great if you want something very naughty but not with whores. It gives a new massage around town - B2B - or body to body. Well, you can use your imagination here.

Service was great, the feel was sensual. Place is nicely decorated. RM 150 an hour. The gals will, on the side, provide extra services (which is a blowjob) but strictly no penetration. I like just a good, long, slow and hard sensual massage. Love being massaged but hate being rushed to cum. Some guys rush it, I take my time - even when I have sex. Which reminds me - the Kepong gal asked me... wow - how come you take so long to cum? Hmmm. What can I say?

Oh yeah - this place does provide happy endings :). Down side - takes about 15 mins of shower with lots of soap to get rid of the oil. Suppose it is a hard and slippery situation. But I can live with it. Hahaha.

Grow Grow Grow

Nope, not talking about my private part (that's good enough as it is, thank you very much), but rather the plants in my garden. For the past many years, the poor plants are either half dead or dead. Did lots of homework and research - found out that trace minerals were missing. The usual NPK fertilizer helped a bit, but not for long. Organic matter helped, but the plants looked weak.

So, after all my research, I settled for "ACE All Plant Food". Got it from Ace Hardware Summit, Taipan, RM 41.90 for 2.2kg. It has trace minerals like Boron, Zinc, copper and many more. Only two missing - magnesium and calcium. Tried mild dosages on a few selected plant as I didn't want to murder what was left of my garden. Nothing died. Increased dosage.

And the conclusion - it works. I am now using about 1 teaspoon (it has one included in the box) per watering can (which I estimated it to be about 5L of water). Once a week, every Saturday morning. The plants are growing well. Healthy. Started it on the trees outside my house - they haven't grown much for the last 15 years. Reminds of the film "pokok" by Nik Aziz as part of 15Malaysia by P1.

Nett nett - it works. To add calcium, just use egg shells - that's free and Epsom salt from Caring Pharmacy (RM 6, I think, per box) for magnesium. Oh - not too much, quarter of a teaspoon per 5L will do.

The downside is, it can cause water polution if the fertilizer is leached / washed away. In other words - use smartly (just like your private parts - it can be lots of fun if used sparingly and wisely). Hahaha.

What a effing weekend...

Cannot be bothered with Merdeka Day this year (not because I am not patriotic, but pissed off with the politics of BN).

However, I still had an effing weekend. It started on Friday evening. Flirting shamelessly online with a gal from Kepong. Knew her from Facebook. Wanted to go out for dinner with her but she has to go out for drinks with her boss after work. As luck would have it, she invited me over to her house and an invitation to stay overnite. Somehow, she requested for some adult DVDs.

Needless to say, I was at her place. Did watch some DVDs, lots of petting, touching and oh well... Feels great to hug her and fall asleep. One DVD we watched was Obsession, about a mad woman after a married man. Not a good DVD to watch on a first fuck date. Hahaha. Still keeping in touch with her and hope I get another invitation. Oh, sex was OK and always be safe - use a condom.

Speaking of which, it is bloody difficult to get XXL condoms here. The ones they have are so damn tight. All I can feel is the bloody rubber clinging on. Ordered some one eBay - lets hope they actually make it to me.

Yesterday, met up with M ... and had a good time in bed. She has great oral skills nowadays. Strongly believe that practice makes perfect.... hehehe.

Automax

Stumbled across this product call Automax by H2Oil, USA. It is suppose to be a fuel additive, but not sure if it is just a scam. Sold by Causeway at a cheap price - about RM 15 per 150ml when it is on discount. (Hell no, I am not a member of any MLM). Got it on eBay for RM 16 per bottle. Not bad at all.

Tested it twice. First time, I noticed the milage was up a bit, from my usual 12 or 13km/l to about 14.5 km/l. Drove from KL to Skudai for this test. In any case, my engine oil is filthy (12,000 km already). On the way back from Skudai to KL, I got only about 13.5km/l. In short - test not conclusive.

Last week, I didn't put in any Automax in the tank, but there must be about 100ppm (recommended 200ppm - or 1ml to 5litres of petrol). Guess what - I got 15.5km/l, driving around KL! Wow. But that could be due to two reasons - it is either Automax or PRIMAX95. So for this week, no more additive into PRIMAX95. My dad complains hell alot about PRIMAX95. Says his car is worse off with more vibrations.

So, this is at best not conclusive. Wondering what the actual results would be... anyone tested this product well?

If it was so good...

Jeff and gang has stated that the gated and guarded, now even fenced up part of our community is doing great. Security works well and there has been no incidences of crime. All in all, he says it is working very well. OK, let's not argue with him on this point.

But, that little bugger now suggests that "CCTV project must be implemented urgently...". What the eff? If everything is working so well, why add in CCTV? That's like wearing wearing three underwear, getting your balls really squeezed. Indeed, Jeff is trying to squeeze all of us for money for his little fantasy.

Real idiot. He appears to be so happy spending money, without the need to account for it. I've yet to see any audited accounts... He could have been the next MCA president...

Najib's Hair

Anyone noticed lately? Prime Minister Najib's hair is getting 'blacker' by the day. This chap is smart. The dye is progressive. It starts from the back, slowly moving towards the front now.

Guess he must have a better image. Lets see how this helps him with his new 1Malaysia image.

English?

A bunch of politicians and self-appointed defender of Bahasa Malaysia is calling the Malaysian Rulers to rule that Maths and Science in schools must be taught in Bahasa Malaysia. They say, this is to defend the national language.

The problems starts with "Matematik dan Sains". That's Maths and Science in Bahasa Malaysia (BM). BM nowadays is nothing more than a systematic mispelt version of English. "Matematik" was Ilmu Hisab (which was probably from Arabic anyway). "Sains" use to be "Ilmu Alam". Even the word "isu" is from English. "Canggih" has long been replaced by mispelt "sofistikated" or it should be sophisticated. Other words (no pun intended): edisi (edition), kualiti (quality - used to be "mutu"), nasional (national), klinik (clinic), dokumen (document), projek (project), bajet (budget)... and the list goes on.

With so many English words in the Malay language, the language is essentially dead. That's sad. Mind you, I am all for a national language, but it must be preserved. Having it peppered with mispelt words doesn't give it any heart or soul. It's not that there are lack of words in BM that we have to borrow English words. Most words to exist in BM, but the English version just sounds better, I guess. Of course, in Science and Maths - a fair deal of words must be borrowed from "English"...

Idiots on Patrol

After suggesting to the committee here that is a good idea to have joint patrol between the residences and the police to enhance neighbourhood security, the committee has taken up the suggestion.

With one minor problem - the said patrol shall be carried out every Sunday morning at 10am.

This is the part that I go, what the eff. Why have a fixed schedule for patrol? Is there an understanding with the criminals that they will attempt crime only on Sunday morning at 10am to 11am? Fuck it. That's plain dumb. If the patrol is on every Sunday morning, criminals will just avoid our area on Sunday mornings only. Other times are fair game! Patrols must be random for them to be effective.

This is the result of amateurs trying to do a professional's job. I say, leave things to the pros, sit back and watch how it is done.

Ulik Kencana

I decided that I needed a good massage lately, and decided to drop by Ulik Kencana, SS14. Darn difficult to locate - as the shop is plain, and the sign board can blends into the background. Sounds like a shop from Harry Potter's stories.

Cost is RM 90 per hour, which is bloody expensive. Taipan charges RM 45 per hour. That's twice the amount. When querried, the gal said that included urut batin. That would be a fair amount to pay. Urut batin usually cost RM 50 extra.

Nothing sexy about the massage lady, Ayu. But her massage was really good - very relaxing. Downside is the place is without air-condition; so, it's a massage plus a sauna. I almost fell asleep during the massage. The urut batin was OK, just OK. Nothing fantasitc.

Will I return - I am not sure. It is a bit expensive and nothing too sexy either. Might return if I have some spare change and in need of a good massage.

The Legal Ah Longs?

I sent a cheque to pay one of my many credit cards, and the cheque arrived a couple of days late. Since the bank had a very good warning system, I got a SMS about late payment before I was fined. So, I have the opportunity to pay up, which I did.

Today - I got a phone call from the same bank. The sweet voice asked me if I would like to transfer cash from my credit card account to my bank account - at a very low rate of 0.75% per month. Or was I interested in a card with higher limit? How about refinancing for another credit card - that's credit transfer.

Was it a coincidence? Or they noticed I made one payment a few days late? The mind boggles. And yeah, the late payment - it was for an amount of RM 50 only!

Security or Safety?

Tough call when it comes to security or safety. Ideally, we want both. Was approached by a salesman recently - to upgrade the tint on my car with a secure tint. Apparently, it is very difficult to break - hence security.

My immediate thought - why happens if there is an accident and I need help? The secure tint might not be good. People might not be able to reach me. Then again, if the Fire Department can cut thru metal, they should not have problems with the tint.

Difficult to say is the tint good, but I am not installing it - but that's more for financial reasons!

Credit Card

Well, in my last post, I did say I like to pay stuff with my credit card. But there is a huge element of fraud. Most people have this irrational fear of fraud.

Firstly, unless we are negligent, fraudulent charges are usually covered by the bank. If we carelessly give out our card number and details to any Abu, Raju and Ah Choong, then, the banks will make us pay for it. Fair enough. So, just be careful. Report a card missing ASAP, when you notice it.

Next, use a chip-based credit card. Those are one hell lot harder to skim or duplicate. The magnetic stripe only cards are bloody useless. Push your bank to issue chip-based cards.

Lastly- there is this CCV number, the three digit number embossed by laser onto the card body. This is usually on a white space of the plastic card, at the back of the card. Now, what I do is, cover this 3 digits with a sticker. Fraudsters need this 3 digits to make a online transaction. If they remove the sticker, you will know - report it. In any case, chances are - they rather remember the credit card details of another card without the sticker. Sometimes, close enough is just good enough - a silly sticker will make them want to fraud another card.

Duty Free Incident

Dubai Airport would be a fantastic place to do duty free shopping. Ah, the choice and the price. I did get a few items for myself and of course, my family. It would have been more shopping if it was not for the terrible check-in service provided by the ground staff for SIA. SIA should really look into this. As a group, we had no idea where to, transferred from counter to counter, which made it a pain.

Anyway, after my shopping, I was walking around the airport, near the departure gate. Suddenly, my a pretty gal from our travel group called out to me. She looked worried and angry. An Indian chap was talking to her, asking her for the receipt of goods purchased. The shopping was done one floor below.

This Indian chap, did look like the guy responsible for the trolleys. He wasn't security. He said something about computer error to me and he wanted to check the receipts.

In reality, he was hoping my friend Y could not produce the receipts. Y was already frantically searching for the tiny pieces of paper amid her shopping. She did Shop! Y said that when she had trouble locating the receipts, he asked for some money. This made Y angry. When I showed up, the guy pretended that all was OK and disappeared.

In hindsight, I should have asked him for his ID and made some fuss. When I returned to KL, I found out in Bangkok, there is a ploy to trick visitors. In the duty free shop, after shopping, the salesperson would offer a gift to the visitors - say, a box of cigars. Since it is a gift, thinking it is part of the purchase, the visitors will take it. Alas, the visitors will be arrested later and be charged with theft. Certainly, a sum of 500,000 baht will make the charges disappear. This was actually published in the New Straits Times.

In short - be darn careful when we do duty free shopping. Keep receipts. And ensure that all free gifts are properly labelled as "free gifts". Oh yeah - this is why I pay with my credit card - if I lose the receipts, the credit card will still have a record.

Dubai

I was in Dubai recently. Prior to arriving in Dubai, I had the mindset that Dubai is an expensive place. Did not bother to prepare cash for shopping. When I arrived in Dubai - ah, that's when reality dawns.

I was fortunate enough to have a travel mate who's been to Dubai many times. First stop after arriving at 3am - nasi mandi - a type of rice with meat topping, near the clock tower. It wasn't cheap - about RM 30 per person, but the food was great.

Next stop - shopping for cloth. Wow. That was great. Spent more than RM 1500 on cloth. Got enough for 10 shirts and some for my girlfriends back at home. It was cheap, generally about RM12 to RM 30 per yard. Yes, they still use yards. 100% cotton - which is great to wear but a pain to iron.

Making shirts were cheap too. RM 30 each. The best part is, it could almost be done overnight. Fitting was perfect, although the tailor (Prince Taylor in Bur Dubai), did insist I try one first before making the rest.

Oh yeah - I guess I forgot to mention - it was a business trip. Business was bad, and I will write more on why in the next blog.

The Prefect

The political landscape in Malaysia has changed a bit - with more weeds tainting the picture. Najib is now prime minister. That's OK. Someone has to be prime minister.

But what the heck - Dr. Koh Tsu Koon - voted out by the Penang people for a job badly done, is now the guy who will monitor the performance of the federal government of Malaysia. Can you imagine this? How lame can it be. I suppose the politicians just cannot take a hint - he bloody got voted out by the people.

On the night of the three by-elections, the buggers commented that people were cheated by the opposition and not see that BN will be bring development. What a clown. BN is outdated. Old ideas, about race and development. That worked when Chin Ping was in Malaysia. Hell, even the Queen of England is a gracious old lady by now. But yet, BN's marketing ploy remains unchanged. And for the record, when we vote for the opposition, we want change. We want performance. Lip service is so yesterday.

And the good news? In the Bukit Gantang by-elections, it is said that more Chinese supported PAS. It shows one thing clearly: Support for PAS is based on track record and performance - not race or religion!