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Tuesday 26 February 2008

What not to say during an interview

Moments ago, my engineer resigned. Oh boy. Here we go again. The hiring process. Not fun for the candidates, not fun for the employees. Based on my previous hiring missions, it was an absolute nightmare for me. Firstly, with a stupid website called Jobstreet, candidates will just spam every job opening, disregarding suitability and requirements of qualifications.


Malaysian graduates complain about unemployment. They should really take a good hard look at themselves and improve on it. I am no expert on this matter, but the list below is compiled based on my experience from candidates applying to Nible2.


Obviously, most candidates, especially fresh graduates, suffer from what I call "Mental Constipation, Verbal Diarrhea".



Things not to do:



  1. Please read up on the company!

  2. When asked if the candidate has any questions, do not answer NO. Read up on what's good to ask.

  3. Worse still, I had one bugger who asked me "Do I have to work overtime?" What sort of message is that? Sounds to me he doesn't want to work hard. Overtime is required only when absolutely necessary. Bad question. Always remember, one must be willing to work hard. There are no shortcuts in life. However, I strongly disagree with the culture of staying back at work for the sake of it. For my team, I would always want them to go home immediately. Don't stay later unless absolutely required. This is to show good time management. More on this in another post.

  4. Q : "Why do you want to work in Nible2?"
    A : "Because I wanna work near my home."
    Huh? "Is there a McD near your home? Surely you can work there and that will fulfill your requirements!"

  5. Q : "What do you see yourself doing in five years' time?"
    A : "Don't know."
    This shows lack of ambition - so, don't complain if you are not promoted, not given a increment!

  6. Unable to write their names. Oh rather, type their names - sometimes, I get resumes or cover letters / email that signs off : "yours truly, chong ah kau".
    They do not even capitalize the first alphabet of their own names! Ouch. I usually reject those immediately. It's not a typo. It says a lot about their attitude - could not care less about their own names and resumes.

  7. One my my fav questions: "How do you put an elephant into a fridge?" One candidate said she will de-assemble the fridge, put the elephant in, then, re-assembly it back. I said, no, that's not the answer I am looking for. I did not specify the size of the fridge, nor the size of the elephant, so, the answer is "Open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door." Next question to her "How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?". Good grief, she proceeded to de-assembly the fridge again! Oh, how stubborn. Sure, she's an engineer and she may have a fetish about assembling fridges, but for crying out loud, that's not what I want.


  8. "Dear Sir, I 1 2 apply for a job, i hope u can consider my application." What the... That's fine, if they are sending an SMS (text messages on mobile) to be my lover or asking for a One Night Stand, or wants to be my fuck buddie. This is a formal job application for a position with marketing. How on earth can I consider them. They cannot even market themselves!


    The culture of writing shorthand (u instead of you, for example), is fine, for not official purposes. Please know where to draw the line.


  9. Q : "How's the traffic to Nible2?"
    A : "Not to worry, my mum drove me here."
    Please, never say that. No one wants to hire someone who needs his or her mum to drive him/her to an interview. We all one someone independent. Someone who can get things done on their own. Not with their mums! Even if that's true, please don't say it. Keep it to yourself. I didn't ask you who drove her, I asked about the traffic. So, it's not lying if you don't tell me who drove.


    Sadly, some have their parents waiting in their lobby while their child is being interviewed. Come on! Parents, please note. This kills any chance of the company from hiring you child. No way people would hire them. They are not five year old kids any more! Give them a life, ask them to get a life.


  10. I've actually offered a job to one candidate, and guess what she told me "My mum wants to think about it first." Oh please, I am hiring you, not your mum. This is not some kinky request that I am after your mum. I am not asking you for your hand in marriage and she considers if she wants to be my mother-in-law. So please, be professional about it. You can ask your parents, fine, but always remember, the decission is yours. If it turns out bad, will you blame your mum? Come on. By the way, she was never hired.

  11. Most people cannot answer, "Why should I hire you?", "What advantage have you over other candidates?". And please don't talk bad about other candidates which you have never met. Just talk good about yourself! Simple.


    Here's more for your reading pleasure. * denotes censorship to protect privacy. These emails are verbatim.


This one is from an advertising agency:

"thank you for your email and your interest to subscribe to our ***** ********** service.
if possible could i make an appointment to see you.
this would give me the opportunity to explain in more detail about our services and how best Nible2 can benefit from subscribing to our service.
would appreciate a convenient date from you for us to meet.
thanking you in advance.
regards,
an***** fe***
senior manager"

Would you hire such an agency? They do not even bother to write properly to me. Let's not waste anyone's time. Why bother to meet up?

This is yet another email, from a Intellectual Property Lawyer! For a lawyer, this guy is pretty bad! No, he was terminated immediately. We were considering his services.

"
dear ****** *****
got it. it would be under class *** .
As for India, I have to go thru my local associate who has contacts in India to get u a quote. The practice is markup of 25-30% of the overseas professional fees and upfront payment as the risk of foreign exchange fluctuation. I get you an Indian quote. ******
But for the Msian, I have givne to ********* and will forward u again after this email.
Is your mark'*************' a word mark or with stylized artwork (which we call a 'device')
I do up the forms and will meet you next week OK and finalise quotation
thanks.
s******
"

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